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BobBattleLaw.com's Great Newsletter March 2008
Greetings!
Merry Christmas, err, Happy New Year,  uhh, Happy Groundhogs Day, err, Happy Almost St. Patrick's Day, err, uh, whassuup?! I told you after I cranked out consecutive newsletters in October and November that you might be wasting your time checking your email inbox on the 1st of every month in anticipation of regular monthly missives! Uh, would you believe I was honoring the Writer's Guild of America strike? Yeah, that's it, that's the ticket.


In This Issue
About the Newsletter being Re-named "Great"
Bob-L Head Brunch set April 1 @ Hard Times Cafe across from Fairfax Courthouse-
Bob-L Icious!
Bob Battle writes Consumer Guides
About the  Newsletter being Re-named "Great"
Actually, the  delay since my last newsletter is all the fault of the Great Legal Marketing Newsletter. In making the point to their great legal marketers that canned lawyer newsletters suck (they were a bit more articulate in their description than me) and that a newsletter should not be boring, their newsletter invited their members to email me to request to be added to my vast subscriber's list by writing in the subjct line "RE Your Great E-Newsletter." (Thus, the origin of my new title above!) Anyway, emails from all over the country began pouring in from  great legal marketers, who, if not yet great legal marketers, were good at following directions to  the "t."

So, feeling the same stress that Beach  Boy Brian Wilson felt in trying to creatively respond to Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, I've been "lyin' in bed" paralyzed by the pressure to be "great." Luckily, though, my wife is a doctor, and she gave me some pills today that give me more energy than Denise Austin wearing a caffeine patch. (There are a few minor side effects- the severe shaking of my hands makes it dddifficccullt ttto tttyppe and the bulge in my trousers is expected to subside in under 4 hours.)

NOTE- If you are interested in becoming a great marketer in any business & want to get some great marketing info, visit Great Legal Marketing

For crying out loud (or should I say "Great Caesar's ghost!") - Tony the Tiger uses the word "great" less in a year than I used it in this article.

Bob-L Head Brunch set April 1 @ Hard Times Cafe across from Fairfax Courthouse-
Just In- FREE BEER!
Well, the location of the First Annual Bob Battle Bob-L Head Brunch is set for April 1 (Yes, April Fool's Day is intentional) at the Hard Times Cafe at 4069 Chain Bridge Road, Fairfax, VA just across from the courthouse from 1:00 to 3:00 p.m. If you've got a Bob-L Head, you're invited. Despite my misgivings in my last Newsletter, the daily protests (see picture below) outside my law office wore me down and I will be providing free beer! Free chili, free chicken tenders, free domestic bottle beer. (OK, guys you won, already. Would the 3 leaders pictured below please go home. They are Mr. H. Whitestone, Mr. S. Surovell & Mr. E. Jurgensen. See you on the 1st, Shriners.)
We want beer
PLEASE RSVP AS SOON AS POSSIBLE
(We may need to get some breweries working around the clock to produce enough beer!)

REQUIRED LEGAL NOTICE: WARNING!
Speaking of beer and chili, if you are approached at the brunch by a guy who identifies himself as Traffic Court Lawyer to All Cabbies Andrew Kersey, and he asks you to pull his finger- run for the exits- do not light a match!

Remember, at the Brunch, I will be awarding the dreaded "Joker" Bobblehead Award. This award is given to someone guilty of unwarranted lawyer bashing  or a lawyer with a prominent position who embarasses the profession. We currently have 5 nominees- we only had 4 a week ago until a Mr. E. Spitzer, Esq. of New York became an instant front runner! (Las Vegas oddsmakers have him dead-even with the federal bankruptcy judge charged with DUI who was found dressed as a woman.) A special edition of this Newsletter will profile the 5 finalists next week and you get to vote on the winner. I expect to get more voters than American Idol! (Would you believe I expect more voters than Ron Paul received in the Presidential Primaries?)

Bob-L Icious!
Kate Vogel

I've got to admit, the Bob-L Head photos and stories continue to amaze me. You thought I was kidding in the last Newsletter when I told you a friend was planning to bring Bob-L with her to deliver her baby. Congrats to Stacey and Mike Vogel on the birth of Kate in November. Bringing Bob-L to the maternity ward guarantees Kate a lifetime of good karma.

But wait, there's more. I have been sent pictures of Bob-L on top of a Christmas tree (nothing surprises me at this point) and in China! Next month, he is supposedly going to hang out with Gene Simmons of KISS! (I don't make these up, see Kate Vogel above!) However, special props has to go to Jason Sparks, high school aged son of LauraLee Sparks, who brought Bob-L from Florida to the Grand Canyon and made this MUSIC VIDEO- Click here. Trust me, you have to see this one! Thanks, Jason, you're the man!

Don't forget to check your inbox next week for the "ballot" for the Joker Bobblehead Award.

Also, a huge announcement about the "Bob Battle Fun-Raiser" Charity Comedy show in Richmond in June and an article about national awards won by Bob Battle, Bob's Beautiful Bride and Bob's Bosom Buddy!


Sincerely,
 

Bob Battle
Robert E. Battle, P.C.
Bob Battle writes  Consumer Guides
on VA DUI
Book how to choose
Bookwritin' Bob Battle ended 2007 with a Boom- writing 2 Consumer Guides on Virgina DUI LAW. The first book titled "How to Choose a DUI Lawyer in Virginia," is the definitive, no BS starting point for anyone charged with DUI who wants to know how to  avoid choosing a Lawyer who is  "asleep at the wheel" of their case.

I hate to be one of those guys who gives away the ending of a book before you've read it, but the surprise, twist ending of "How to Choose a DUI Lawyer in Virginia" is- you choose Bob Battle! Whoa- bet you didn't see that coming!

Guilt Myth

Bob Battle was honored to be selected to write the Virginia version of a collaborative effort of top DUI lawyers from around the country titled "DUI/DWI Survival Guide: The Guilt Myth." This book dispels the "myth" that DUI cases are unwinnable and that, just because your BAC was above the legal limit, that you have no hope of beating  the charge.

Bob Battle's office will send you both books for free if you have a pending VA DUI, OR to get an instant e-book, fill out the request form on the upper right hand corner of BobBattleLaw.com.

I know (from my previous free t-shirt/bobblead giveaway) how much my loyal readers like free stuff, so, if you want to get both books for free, go down to your favorite Virginia watering hole, have five, six, seventy drinks, stumble out to your car....


Join Our Mailing List
FREE
BEER!
Ownership (of a Bob-L Head) has its privileges! See you at the Bob-L Head Brunch on April 1.
Don't forget to RSVP by responding to this email or calling my receptionist at 866-853-0023.


 
Offer Expires: April 1, 2008 at 3:01 p.m.!