Thanksgiving holidays are upon us, a time for family, friends, thankfulness and reaching out with love. This time of year can also become a time of stress, when certain relationships have not been resolved, when unspoken expectations hang in the air, feelings are unexpressed or long desired wishes have not come to pass.

It's important to take a closer look at how we can make this season as healing and uplifting as possible, to find the essence of what is important and offer it to those we care about.

This newsletter is dedicated to those who wish to learn the simple laws of love, how to practice them in all their relationships. Combining Eastern and Western teachings and practices, it will also offer psychological, spiritual and practical wisdom on handling all kinds of

As we begin to let go of our self centered focus and build our relationships on a new basis we will find we are not ultimately threatened by the challenges that arise. We do not wonder why love has vanished when we don't get what we want or ask what is wrong with the other person. We realize, that in truly lasting, uplifting relationships, fulfillment will ultimately come from learning what it means to give., not to get. The challenge is not learning how to be loved by our partners, but learning how to be loving.

Until we realize this, we are bound and chained to search for what we think we need in others. This is because our life long search for happiness, comfort, value and meaning has always been directed to the external world. However, when we make our success dependent upon the way others respond to us, we place ourselves in a ready made trap. Sometimes this yields wonderful fruits, but inevitably, both the person and the feelings we have for them change - they have to.

The external world, including the people in it are always changing. Some respond to this by holding on too tight. When they do this they inadvertently drive the person away. This change is then interpreted as failure. There is no such thing as failure in real love. Real love knows that which changes and that which always remains.

As soon as we build a truly, uplifting, lasting relationship, we start the process of taking back our scattered energies, discovering how to extricate ourselves from traps, and truly learning to love. This process requires patience. But without patience we have nothing. Developing patience is at the very heart of our ability to love.

Developing Patience

Love without patience is like soup without liquid - impossible to drink. It can even be said that patience is love itself. In the frantic, demanding world we live in, patience has been relegated to a shadow of the past. We never allow time for love to develop. But patience is greatly needed for the flower of love to bloom. It takes time for a person to feel at home and reveal who they are. It takes patience to wait for another, to develop true caring and trust.

Most of us, however, have a difficult time with patience. Starving for love, we want it immediately and will often grab at anything just to feel satisfied.. It's the hollow feeling within we can't tolerate that drives their lives. Some don't even know the difference between true nourishment and poison, they'll take whatever comes along to quickly feel full.

As we build lasting, uplifting relationships, we learn how to wait and distinguish the false from the real. No one can tell us how to do this. There are no ready-made solutions, we have to grapple with the experiences of life directly, taste them, digest them and discover what they mean for us.. Without the willingness to endure and wait, and taste life for yourself, nothing real can happen. Life and love happen in a second, and yet it takes preparation to be ready to receive them.

Steppingstones To Love

These processes can be done daily, hourly, monthly, or yearly. They help prepare us for the precious taste of love. Don't turn them into another pressure. Make them something life-giving, that you can enjoy.

2) What Needs To Be Cared For?

Spend time noticing what needs to be taken care of. Is it a thirsty plant in your apartment? Are your bills paid? Are there letters left unanswered, people waiting to be called back? At this point just notice, and notice your willingness - or lack of willingness - to do what is needed.

3) Look Over Past Relationships

Give time and attention to looking over past relationships. Just look. Don't blame yourself for what happened, and don't blame anyone else. Just become quiet and look over the people, places and events. Write down what you notice. Let it all be as it was. In the days that follow see if what happened in past relationships is cropping up in present. Don't make anything of it. Just notice the patterns, as you would notice a rainbow in the sky.

This process of watching, noticing, paying attention is very powerful. We pass so much of our days under the thick fog of absent-mindedness, fantasy and resentment, that it may come as a shock to see the effect of our caring attention, which makes room for the sun of clarity to shine in.

4)The One Besides You Now

Look at a person who is close to you right now - anyone it happens to be. Notice the ways in which you push them away. Stop doing that for a moment. Become aware of what it is they are offering and what they are not. Allow the two of you to be together in whatever way you are. Just be with it all for a little while and let it be fine the way it is.

Do the same thing tomorrow with someone else. We discount so many people who are in our worlds, while waiting for 'the right one' to appear.

"Sometimes we have the power to say Yes to life. Then peace enters us and makes us whole."

Emerson

This is article is based upon Save Your Relationship (21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships). www.truthaboutlove.com

Save Your Relationship (21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships)

Probably the biggest need all of us have is to experience a wonderful, loving relationship where we can be ourselves, and share our lives with someone meaningful. This is exactly what you will be able to create when you begin to work with the unique program inside my e-book, Save Your Relationship.

In the program you will discover the common mistakes people make in relationships and how to turn them around. You'll see why it's impossible to fail at love, once you understand how to build a foundation that can weather any storm.

Why not throw away old relationship habits and start new right now?

To find out more and order a copy, go to the website, http:.//www.truthaboutlove.comJewish Dharma is the first guide to the authentic parctice of both Judaism and Zen. We see how each practice enriches, illuminates and challenges the other and how they provide keys to the personal struggles we face each day.

Each chapter deals with different life issues, such as loneliness, relationships, conflict, finding peace and understanding and ways of healing suffering. The book includes personal narraitive, parables, quotations, discussion and specific exercises so the reader can integrate the material into their lives.

A Jewish heart is warm, giving, devoted to family and friends; a Zen eye is fresh, direct, spontaneous and in the moment. These practices are like two wings of a bird; both are needed to be able to fly.

Why not give this as a holiday gift?

To Get A Copy of Save Your Relationship

There are so many gifts we receive everyday that we barely notice. Take time each day this month, to stop for about twenty minutes, and make a list of all that you have received that day. Be specific. At first there may be little to write down, but if you spend time truly dwelling on this, day by day, you will become more and more aware of all that comes your way.

Next, take time to offer thanks. You can offer thanks directly to the people you receive from, or from anyone else that is in your life. Saying thank you is one day of making this offering. There are many others. Spend time discovering ways in which you can offer thanks to life. For example, you can stop the whirl of your busy activities to offer a hand to someone who may need it, you can offer a smile or take a moment to ask a service person how they are feeling. You can actually make some gifts of your own and give them out randomly. Or, you can tell a loved one how much they truly mean to you.

As you do this exercise, your sense of joy an well being grows. Do it daily and you will soon find it hard to live without it.

Living By Zen (Timeless Truths For Everyday Life)

--Deborah Durbin

Many books have been written about the query letter. But few have been written by literary agents, who receive thousands of queries each year and who grapple with them on a daily basis. Even fewer books have been written by literary agents who are currently active, who are willing to write from the trenches and offer their perspective on why they reject query letters, and why they accept them.

New York literary agent Noah Lukeman, President of Lukeman Literary Management Ltd, has represented multiple New York Times bestsellers, winners of the Pulitzer Prize and American Book Award, National Book Award Finalists, and has written three critically-acclaimed books on the craft of writing (The First Five Pages, The Plot Thickens, and A Dash of Style). During his last 13 years as a literary agent he has read thousands of query letters and now, for the first time, he offers his insights on the query letter, sharing an insider's perspective, giving insights and practical tips about what works and what doesn't.

HOW TO WRITE A GREAT QUERY LETTER: INSIDER TIPS AND TECHNIQUES FOR SUCCESS is a must-read for any writer serious about being published. Designed for writers of fiction and non- fiction, for screenwriters and poets, it speaks to a broad range of authors, offering principles that will help lead to success no matter what your craft. Practical, engaging, filled with exercises, anecdotes and sidebars, this 80 page e-book takes you on a journey, will transform your query letter from a document that could be rejected to a document that will make agents take you seriously.

HOW TO WRITE A GREAT QUERY LETTER includes:

· The 3 Paragraph Rule

· 3 Common Mistakes to Avoid in Your Plot Paragraph

· 4 Common Mistakes to Avoid in Your Author Bio

· Fiction Versus Non-Fiction (How a Query Letter Will Differ)

· Checklist: 30 Mistakes to Avoid in Your Query Letter

just download your book HOW TO WRITE A GREAT QUERY LETTER

As of May, 2007, Mr. Lukeman has made his e-book HOW TO WRITE A GREAT QUERY LETTER free, as a way to give back to the writing community. .

NEW! If you would also like to read 20 free pages of Noah Lukeman's new book, How to Land (and Keep) a Literary Agent, go to:

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How To Write A Great Query Letter (Click Here)

Through a series of simple exercises, we'll practice suspending judgment, becoming vulnerable and embracing the world as full of possibility.

Other topics covered include:

Becoming available

Releasing control

Emptying yourself

Being there for others

Nourishing others and yourself

Dealing with blows

Working out problems

Suitable for couples as well as those are not currently in an intimate relationship. . ------

Week-end, December 11 - 14th, Zen Mountain Monastery

, Contact: mro@mro.org. - (845) 688-2228

HOLIDAY WORKSHOP - CENTERING, SILENCE, CONTEMPLATION (A Time For You)

Thursday, December 17, 5 p.m. - 8 p.m.

In the midst of our hurried lives, we rarely take time to stop, center, find our true balance and contemplate our miraculous journey on earth and what we are doing and why.

This beautiful program creates the space for you to put down your bags, let go of demands, open your senses and become re- acquainted with the incredible being who lives inside you.

We will experience centering, the wisdom of silence, and the wonderful new and inspiration life that continually springs forth. We'll look over the past year and take a broad glance at what's up ahead. In the process we will integrate some timeless truths with our everyday life.

Manhattan

$75

For more information contact Dr Shoshanna- topspeaker@yahoo.com

--------ABOUT DR SHOSHANNA

Dr. Shoshanna is a psychologist, author and speaker - her work integrates East and West , offering personal and spiritual growth and ways of developing authentic peace of mind.

Give A Gift

Give a session with Dr. Shoshanna in person or on the phone, or invite Dr. Shoshanna to talk or offer a workshop in your community. She speaks on various topics including:

Becoming Fearless (Re- Claiming Your Original Safety, Strength and Resilience)

Relationships as Spiritual Practice (A New Look at Love)

Discovering Authentic Peace of Mind.

Dr. Shoshanna's programs are available as talks, half day workshops, full day , or week-end workshops.Contact us for more information. topspeaker@yahoo.com

I

Each year brings changes, with different configurations of friends close by and celebrations. If you are not receiving the invitations you once did, why not create a holiday event of your own? Extend your own invitations. This need not be costly. You can make it a pot luck dinner, or an outing with friends. It is quite likely that others are wanting to be invited and included for the holiday season as well.

Save Your Relationship (21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships

Author, You Are The Healer: Discover Your Miraculous Potential to Heal Yourself and Others

www.amazinghealer.com

Gene@amazi ng nghealer.com, (914) 232-4409

I wish to highly recommend Gene Krackhel. Gene has testified success in working on people with cancer and breakthroughs in helping people deal with stress and release fear, grief and anxiety. His speciality is fixing broken hearts.

Formerly on the staff at Northern Westchester Hospital's Center for Health and Healing, Gene now devotes all his time to his own healing practice in Katonah, while collaborating with therapists, hospitals, MD's and other health care professionals.

His workshops are given in large corporations, organizations, colleges, holistic centers, etc. He has been featured on TV and radio talk shows and has released several CD's of his work.

Contact him directly at

Gene@amazinghealer.com

Gene Krackhel

Each chapter deals with different life issues, such as loneliness, relationships, conflict, finding peace and understanding and ways of healing suffering. The book includes personal narraitive, parables, quotations, discussion and specific exercises so the reader can integrate the material into their lives.

A Jewish heart is warm, giving, devoted to family and friends; a Zen eye is fresh, direct, spontaneous and in the moment. These practices are like two wings of a bird; both are needed to be able to fly.

Why not give this as a holiday gift?

GIVE A GIFT

Give a session with Dr. Shoshanna in person or on the phone, or invite Dr. Shoshanna to talk or offer a workshop in your community. She speaks on many topics including:

Save Your Relationship (21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships

From Anger to Peace of Mind (The Anger Diet)

Journey Through Illness , Loss and Change

Jewish Dharma (A Guide to the Practice of Judaism and Zen) and how it can heal your life

Dr. Shoshanna's programs are available as talks, half day workshops, full day , or week-end workshops.Contact us for more information. topspeaker@yahoo.com

Or, perhaps you'd like to give someone you care for a copy of one of Dr. Shoshanna's books such as Zen and The Art of Falling In Love, filled with delightful stories,guidelines and steppingstones to love, based on Zen practice.

Get a copy of Jewish Dharma today.

Everyone wants to be beautiful, young, healthy, fit and to feel good about themselves. There is no end to available diets and workouts, but the most important diet has been overlooked.

This is a diet that releases stress, lets you sleep soundly at night, reduces cravings and brings new friends into your life. This diet gets rid of the number one toxin that destroys well-being - anger.

In Dr. Shoshanna book, The Anger Diet, you'll learn about the 24 forms of anger, the lies anger tells you, and how to stop it fast with the Emergency Technique. Each day you'll give up a different form of anger and replace it with a life changing antidote. The life changing effects of this diet will appear soon after starting.

There's no need to keep going the way you have been. Choose to feel good today. Get a copy of The Anger Diet and see how easy it is to say no to upset.

The greatest obstacle we have to feeling good, healthy and loving is anger which accosts us in many ways and camouflages itself.

Melt Away Toxic Feelings On The Anger Diet

In this revealing, intimate book, I ask the men themselves and they provide some startling and enlightening answers. Drawing on hundreds of interviews, I present men's own words and perspectives about the various reasons their relationships fell apart. You'll be surprised and relieved to hear what they have to say. Usually the reason men leave, has nothing to do with you. Some of the topics covered in the book include, The Fear of Committment, Ghosts of Past Relationships, The Mid-Life Crisis, The Repetition Compulsion, Competition With In-Laws, The Fantasy Woman, and many others.

Why keep going without understanding?Take new steps today to learn more about men and relationships, feel better about yourselves and findthe courage to love again.

Living by Zen (Timeless Truths for Everyday Life). www.livingbyzen.com

In this book you will discover the 2,000 Year Old Zen Secrets To Being Calm, Balanced and Positive, No Matter What Is Going On.

Probably the biggest need all of us have is to feel calm, balanced and positive no matter what is going on in our lives. This is exactly what you will feel when you begin to work with the unique program inside this e- book.

Living By Zen explores the things that steal your peace of mind, different ways you handle stress and why they do not work.

Download the book now and enjoy.

Living By Zen