The Fourth of July celebrates not only the birth of our nation, but the very heart of independence from tyranny of all kinds. Each one has the precious right to stand up tall and live life according to their deepest values and dreams.

This is a right worth defending in every way in which it is challenged, socially, nationally and personally, in relationships.

During this summer season, as we travel, meet others and reach out, it is important to learn and practice the ways of becoming independent in our own lives as well. Love and relationships are not based upon dependency, they are based upon something much greater than that.

I wish you a wonderful holiday season, filled with heart warming discoveries of all kinds.

This newsletter is dedicated to those who wish to learn the simple laws of love, how to practice them in all their relationships. Combining Eastern and Western teachings and practices, it will also offer psychological, spiritual and practical wisdom on handling all kinds of

From the usual point of view, disappointment in love is everyday business. We may never know love, and still be productive and happy. Is our very life at stake if we aren't able to truly love? Our answer is Yes. Without the ability to know real love, the precious taste of life is thwarted, and one may be doomed to living their days as a "Hungry Ghost."

Hungry Ghosts

Hungry ghosts are individuals who are starving. Even though they are led to tables spread with delicious food, no matter how much they eat they cannot be satisfied, can't taste the food or digest it. Hungry ghosts sample one relationship after the next, never knowing who the person is in front of them. They fantasize that the perfect person, is always about to walk in the door. Certain hungry ghosts appear available for love, but are only intent on seducing and teasing. Others enter rooms filled with single people and immediately say, "There's no one here tonight." They go around on the merry go round of love, and if they catch the golden ring, soon discover it is only made of brass.

All of this is exhausting, and disheartening and makes the hungry ghosts very sad. This painful affliction, which has become quite common, can be remedied, however, through the practice of simplicity and mindfulness.

In this practice you do not dwell on your disappointments, remember your childhood, or makes a list of your desires. In fact all of this has been precisely what has been keeping love away. Instead, as soon as you enter a place of practice you receive simple instructions: "Take Off Your Shoes."

Each instruction you receive must be followed completely and carefully. At the heart of this practice is the willingness to do everything one hundred percent, consider nothing to be too big or too small. When you take off their shoes, you begin the process of letting go of your usual defenses and opening yourself to directly feeling the world under your feet. You learn to do what is asked without hesitation and may even notice that your inability to do this may have contributed to your former disappointments in love. If you yank off your shoes, and throw them carelessly on the bottom of the shoe rack, you will be asked to pick them up and place them neatly besides one another.

"Messy shoes, messy mind," a great teacher once said.

You treat your shoes the way you treat others and yourself. Perhaps you just take them off and throw them any which way, don't pay attention to the effect that has upon other shoes in the rack, or the general atmosphere. Perhaps you don't care.

The first step in this practice is not to disregard anything, to offer everything attention and care. Usually we pay little attention to the world we live in, just take it for granted that it will always be there. As you practice, you realize that everyone and everything is significant - whatever you do has an effect. Messy shoes, chaotic environment - confused, angry people, filled with despair.

Whatever you do is an expression of who you are and what you offer to the world. What are you offering to those in your life? Have you been discarding one person after another, tossing them mindlessly onto the bottom shelf? You may say you are looking for love without having the least idea of who the people in your world are. Find out. Each person is important. In this practice we don't cling to one person, but fall in love with all of life.

Now, Walk

Next, pay attention to how you walk. Are you sauntering, showing off, being concerned with the impression you are creating. Let that go. Feel each step you are taking. Just pay attention to the bottom of your feet. Your feet are amazing, they contain incredible information about the world and greatly assist you in coming to balance. Without balance and attention, how are loving relationships possible? How often do you take time to pay attention to the bottom of your feet?

Did I Do It Right?

Well, I took off my shoes, you may think, but did I do the rest of it right? Then you turn and look for someone to tell you. You are still in need of praise and guidance from the outside world. Is it was any wonder relationships cannot be fulfilling? As you continue you learn to walk on your own two feet, you stop leaning, and develop self trust.

Whatever you are in life, you bring to the practice. When you first enter you may expect to immediately get your needs met, learn how to make the world work as you want it. You have been programmed to believe that if you get what you want, you are a success. You want excitement, pleasure, good friends, praise and happy conversation. You want to feel that you have done beautifully, that others respect and appreciate that. All of these demands are, however, what have been keeping you from the true taste of love. As you practice, you allow them to subside. In fact, one of the first things you have to learn, is how to deal with not getting what you want at all.

This practice can also be called To Fly Like An Eagle. It teaches you to follow the path of your simple self. On this path you will not ask why love has vanished, or what is wrong with another person. You realize, finally, that nothing is wrong with anyone, every person you meet and every step you take is perfect, just as it is. Once that is realized, no more problems with love.

This is article is based upon Dr Shoshanna's book, Zen and the Art of Falling in Love. amazon.com

Jewish Dharma (A Guide to the Practice of Judaism and Zen)

Each chapter deals with different life issues, such as loneliness, relationships, conflict, finding peace and understanding and ways of healing suffering. The book includes personal narraitive, parables, quotations, discussion and specific exercises so the reader can integrate the material into their lives.

A Jewish heart is warm, giving, devoted to family and friends; a Zen eye is fresh, direct, spontaneous and in the moment. These practices are like two wings of a bird; both are needed to be able to fly.

Why not give this as a holiday gift?

To Get A Copy of Jewish Dharma

It's easy to blame others for disappointments and find ways of making them look like villains. This only serves to keep our anger alive.

If you are thinking ill of someone, reverse this immediately, and give the person the benefit of the doubt. Find reasons to explain the behavior in a way that puts the person in a positive light. This will make room for the person to save face and perhaps even apologize for some misunderstanding.

Not only will your relationship grow stronger, but the acceptance experienced will feel wonderful to all.

Save Your Relationship (21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships

To Fly Like An Eagle: Workshops on The Practice of Simplicity and Mindfulness

Starting August., 2009

. Contact us for more information: topspeaker@yahoo.com

Dr. Shoshanna is a psychologist, author and speaker - her work integrates East and West , offering personal and spiritual growth and ways of developing authentic peace of mind.

Give A Gift

Give a session with Dr. Shoshanna in person or on the phone, or invite Dr. Shoshanna to talk or offer a workshop in your community. She speaks on various topics including:

Becoming Fearless (7 Principles of Peace of Mind

Relationships as Spiritual Practice (A New Look at Love)

Facing Hard Times With Strength and Courage - Developing Authentic Faith.

Dr. Shoshanna's programs are available as talks, half day workshops, full day , or week-end workshops.Contact us for more information. topspeaker@yahoo.com

Find Out More

That which is most healing is simple and readily abundant. We have just not known where to look..

In this joyful workshop, we will put down our baggage, take off our shoes, return to our simple selves. We will develop balance and compassion and learn how to "take our full time to drink a cup of tea."

Three hour workshops available in August.

For more information, topspeaker@yahoo.com

Of course your husband's primary loyalty must be to you. If there is a problem troubling him, or your in-laws, the only fair action is to talk it all out together in mature way. When this is done, it is possible to make corrections.However, some families are not available to discussions of that kind. They enjoy fanning the flames of upset. If this is the case here, let your husband know that at the very least, he must discuss these issues with you fairly, and realize that you and he are a team. When his family sees that he solidly supports you, they may decrease their attacks. Or if they do not, you and your husband must choose to make constructive choices about how to handle this together.

Save Your Relationship (21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships

Probably the biggest need all of us have is to experience a wonderful, loving relationship where we can be ourselves, and share our lives with someone meaningful. This is exactly what you will be able to create when you begin to work with the unique program inside my e-book, Save Your Relationship.

In the program you will discover the common mistakes people make in relationships and how to turn them around. You'll see why it's impossible to fail at love, once you understand how to build a foundation that can weather any storm.

Why not throw away old relationship habits and start new right now?

To find out more and order a copy, go to the website, http:.//www.truthaboutlove.com

GIVE A GIFT

Give a session with Dr. Shoshanna in person or on the phone, or invite Dr. Shoshanna to talk or offer a workshop in your community. She speaks on many topics including:

Save Your Relationship (21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships

From Anger to Peace of Mind (The Anger Diet)

Journey Through Illness , Loss and Change

Jewish Dharma (A Guide to the Practice of Judaism and Zen) and how it can heal your life

Dr. Shoshanna's programs are available as talks, half day workshops, full day , or week-end workshops.Contact us for more information. topspeaker@yahoo.com

Or, perhaps you'd like to give someone you care for a copy of one of Dr. Shoshanna's books such as Zen and The Art of Falling In Love, filled with delightful stories,guidelines and steppingstones to love, based on Zen practice.

Get a copy of Save Your Relationship today.

Everyone wants to be beautiful, young, healthy, fit and to feel good about themselves. There is no end to available diets and workouts, but the most important diet has been overlooked.

This is a diet that releases stress, lets you sleep soundly at night, reduces cravings and brings new friends into your life. This diet gets rid of the number one toxin that destroys well-being - anger.

In Dr. Shoshanna book, The Anger Diet, you'll learn about the 24 forms of anger, the lies anger tells you, and how to stop it fast with the Emergency Technique. Each day you'll give up a different form of anger and replace it with a life changing antidote. The life changing effects of this diet will appear soon after starting.

There's no need to keep going the way you have been. Choose to feel good today. Get a copy of The Anger Diet and see how easy it is to say no to upset.

The greatest obstacle we have to feeling good, healthy and loving is anger which accosts us in many ways and camouflages itself.

Melt Away Toxic Feelings On The Anger Diet

In this revealing, intimate book, I ask the men themselves and they provide some startling and enlightening answers. Drawing on hundreds of interviews, I present men's own words and perspectives about the various reasons their relationships fell apart. You'll be surprised and relieved to hear what they have to say. Usually the reason men leave, has nothing to do with you. Some of the topics covered in the book include, The Fear of Committment, Ghosts of Past Relationships, The Mid-Life Crisis, The Repetition Compulsion, Competition With In-Laws, The Fantasy Woman, and many others.

Why keep going without understanding?Take new steps today to learn more about men and relationships, feel better about yourselves and findthe courage to love again.

Living by Zen (Timeless Truths for Everyday Life). www.livingbyzen.com

In this book you will discover the 2,000 Year Old Zen Secrets To Being Calm, Balanced and Positive, No Matter What Is Going On.

Probably the biggest need all of us have is to feel calm, balanced and positive no matter what is going on in our lives. This is exactly what you will feel when you begin to work with the unique program inside this e- book.

Living By Zen explores the things that steal your peace of mind, different ways you handle stress and why they do not work.

Download the book now and enjoy.

Living By Zen