Greetings!

The Fourth of July is almost here, a time for celebrations, gatherings, the start of summer festivities. This is a wonderful time not only to honor our nation's independence, but to honor relationships of all kinds. During these summer months, as time for love and romance is more bountiful, let us recognize and learn the way to make each encounter meaningful and filled with delight.

This newsletter is dedicated to those who wish to learn the simple laws of love and how to practice them in all their relationships. Combining Eastern and Western wisdom, we discover easy, enjoyable steps to take which help make our relationships all we want them to be and allow us to live life to the brim.

The same is true in relationships, though there are so many people in the world, some are always lonely and hungry, not allowing themselves to truly love. These individuals with hungry hearts might sample one relationship after the next, yet they never know who the person is in front of them, or who they are themselves. All they know is that they want more and more. They fantasize that someone else, the perfect person, is about to walk in the door. Certain of these individuals appear available, but are really only intent on seducing and teasing the people they find. As soon as love is demanded from them, they are onto someone else. Their pleasure is in withdrawing the love they seem to be offering.

Individuals with hungry hearts are the ones who enter huge rooms filled with single people and immediately say, "There's no one here tonight." They cannot experience or be satisfied with that which life presents. Instead, they go around and around on the merry go round, grabbing for the gold ring, always just beyond their grasp, or, if they do catch it, they soon discover, to their horror, that it is not true gold, but brass.

All of this is exhausting, and disheartening and makes these individuals very sad. Even when they are with someone they love, they are often haunted by the notion that their true soul mate is somewhere else, eluding them. Their painful affliction, which has become quite common, can be remedied by learning to be fully present to each moment, to accept whatever is here now, not run this way and that.

The unwillingness to let love in takes many forms. For some no matter how well things started out in the beginning eventually their relationships fell apart. Although they do their best to be charming and pleasing, sooner or later they find something wrong with everyone and decide that nothing really pleases them. No one resembles the image of the partner they've had in their mind. These individuals are not able to really know or be with the person they are with as they have so many dreams and expectations in their minds. Once they begin to let these expectations subside, they will be surprised at what they will find.

When we judge a person quickly and discard them because they do not meet a pre-conceived notion we have, we are short-circuiting our own ability to find love. When we have the patience to allow time for who they truly are to be revealed, there will be many surprises and we will be expanding the circle of people who may enter our lives. In order to be able to develop a truly loving, growing relationship it's crucial to be present to the reality of oneself and the other, to give up dreams, demands, fantasies and judgments and to honor and enjoy what is given, as it is. One may then even take the next step, which is to ask not what one is getting, but what it is they are offering. Stop a minute and ask yourself what it is your want to give others? What gifts do you bring to relationships? How willing are you to give?

We have been programmed to believe that if we get what we want, we are a success. We want excitement, change, pleasure, stimulation, good friends, praise and happy conversation. We want to go home feeling that we have done beautifully, that others respect and appreciate that. This is also what we want from relationships. However, as we learn to let go of self centered desires and to open to offering ourselves to whomever we meet, all our relationships will begin to bloom and bring joy and delight.

(This article is based upon Save Your Relationship (21 Laws of Successful Relationships) www.truthaboutlove.com

Save Your Relationship (21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships)

Buy a copy here

Talk on Zen and psychology at Queens Library in Flushing on August 16th at 2 o'lock.

For details, contact Dr. Shoshanna at topspeaker@yahoo.com

Dr. Shoshanna is a psychologist, author and speaker - her work integrates East and West in finding psychological, spiritual and practical guidance in making our lives all they can become.

GIVE A GIFT

Give a session with Dr. Shoshanna in person or on the phone, or invite Dr. Shoshanna to talk or offer a workshop in your community. She speaks on many topics including:

Save Your Relationship (21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships

From Anger to Peace of Mind (The Anger Diet)

Jewish Dharma (A Guide to the Practice of Judaism and Zen)

Everyone Wins Mediation: "How To Get from Me to We

Journey Through Illness , Loss and Change

Relationships as Spiritual Practice

The Secret World of Mitzvot (What They Are and What They Do)

Making Peace: Forgiveness and Reconciliation

Dr. Shoshanna's programs are available as talks, half day workshops, full day , or week-end workshops.Contact us for more information. topspeaker@yahoo.com

Or, perhaps you'd like to give someone you care for a copy of one of Dr. Shoshanna's books such as Zen and The Art of Falling In Love, filled with delightful stories,guidelines and steppingstones to love, based on Zen practice.

Everyone Wins Mediation

Is there someone in your life you're having a problem with, someone you feel compelled to criticize and judge? Do something different today. When you think of that person, instead of becoming upset, imagine that you are them. Think of what it feels like to go through their day. Put yourself in their shoes.

When we look at a person from the inside out compassion develops. At the very least, harsh feelings melt away.

"You cannot truly know a man

Until you've walked a hundred miles

In his moccasins."

Native American Saying

Read more about a life gratitude in Living By Zen (Timeless Truths For Everyday Life)

"Project Oatmeal" helps provide oatmeal for NY's only food rescue program, City Harvest, to distribute to its contacts at more than 600 emergency food shelters throughout the five boroughs of NYC. The food agencies then put that oatmeal directly into the hands of the hungry within a few days -- sometimes within a few hours--of receiving it. Project Oatmeal has cut a deal with Krasdale Foods (in the Bronx) to supply oatmeal at only $1.66 per 42 ounce cannister, which comes out to just 16 cents a meal. For a donation of just $1.66 you can provide over 10 meals immediately to help the hungry in NYC.

Go to http://www.projectoatmeal.org to find out more.

Find out more

Perhaps you need to take a closer look at what is truly fueling these suspicions? Has her behavior with you changed? Were those photos always there? When young children are involved it is often necessary for divorced partners to keep in touch.

Sometimes when an individual finds themselves getting closer in a relationship,due to fear of intimacy or commitment, or due to hurt in past relationships, they start to find things wrong with the other person, or convince themselves they have reasons to be jealous. Unless her behavior has changed towards you, unless there is real reason for you to be so jealous and suspicious, it seems as though you need to look into your own heart and see why these feelings are growing now.

In this revealing, intimate book, I ask the men themselves and they provide some startling and enlightening answers. Drawing on hundreds of interviews, I present men's own words and perspectives about the various reasons their relationships fell apart. You'll be surprised and relieved to hear what they have to say. Usually the reason men leave, has nothing to do with you. Some of the topics covered in the book include, The Fear of Committment, Ghosts of Past Relationships, The Mid-Life Crisis, The Repetition Compulsion, Competition With In-Laws, The Fantasy Woman, and many others.

Why keep going without understanding?Take new steps today to learn more about men and relationships, feel better about yourselves and findthe courage to love again.

Living by Zen (Timeless Truths for Everyday Life). www.livingbyzen.com

In this book you will discover the 2,000 Year Old Zen Secrets To Being Calm, Balanced and Positive, No Matter What Is Going On.

Probably the biggest need all of us have is to feel calm, balanced and positive no matter what is going on in our lives. This is exactly what you will feel when you begin to work with the unique program inside this e- book.

Living By Zen explores the things that steal your peace of mind, different ways you handle stress and why they do not work.

Download the book now and enjoy.

Living By Zen (Timeless Truths For Everyday Life)

Probably the biggest need all of us have is to experience a wonderful, loving relationship where we can be ourselves, and share our lives with someone meaningful. This is exactly what you will be able to create when you begin to work with the unique program inside my e-book, Save Your Relationship.

In the program you will discover the common mistakes people make in relationships and how to turn them around. You'll see why it's impossible to fail at love, once you understand how to build a foundation that can weather any storm.

Why not throw away old relationship habits and start new right now?

To find out more and order a copy, go to the website, http:.//www.truthaboutlove.com

GIVE A GIFT

Give a session with Dr. Shoshanna in person or on the phone, or invite Dr. Shoshanna to talk or offer a workshop in your community. She speaks on many topics including:

Save Your Relationship (21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships

From Anger to Peace of Mind (The Anger Diet)

Everyone Wins Mediation: "How To Get from I to We

Journey Through Illness , Loss and Change

- Dr. Shoshanna's programs are available as talks, half day workshops, full day , or week-end workshops.Contact us for more information. topspeaker@yahoo.com

Or, perhaps you'd like to give someone you care for a copy of one of Dr. Shoshanna's books such as Zen and The Art of Falling In Love, filled with delightful stories,guidelines and steppingstones to love, based on Zen practice.

Get a copy of Save Your Relationship today.

Everyone wants to be beautiful, young, healthy, fit and to feel good about themselves. There is no end to available diets and workouts, but the most important diet has been overlooked.

This is a diet that releases stress, lets you sleep soundly at night, reduces cravings and brings new friends into your life. This diet gets rid of the number one toxin that destroys well-being - anger.

In Dr. Shoshanna book, The Anger Diet, you'll learn about the 24 forms of anger, the lies anger tells you, and how to stop it fast with the Emergency Technique. Each day you'll give up a different form of anger and replace it with a life changing antidote. The life changing effects of this diet will appear soon after starting.

There's no need to keep going the way you have been. Choose to feel good today. Get a copy of The Anger Diet and see how easy it is to say no to upset.

The greatest obstacle we have to feeling good, healthy and loving is anger which accosts us in many ways and camouflages itself. Here are some quick Anger Busters, which can help us dissolve this toxic energy on the spot. They are based upon Dr Shoshanna's book, The Anger Diet, (30 Days To Stress Free Living).

Anger Busters For Everyday Life

Speak kindly to someone who's angry with you.

If someone has a complaint against you, really stop and listen.

Find 3 things you really like and respect about your opponent.

Give someone you are upset with the benefit of the doubt.

) Stop trying to control the person you are angry with. Let them be who they are.

If you are right in a dispute, give up being right (for that moment, or day). Let the other person keep his/her pride.

If two people you know are in a fight, speak well of each one of them to the other.

Put the other person ahead of yourself. (You do not to always be "first")

Do a forgiveness workout:

Make a point of forgiving at least one person you haven't yet forgiven everyday.

Ask yourself, "How much suffering is enough?" Am I willing to feel good today?

Remember:We Are Not Hurt By What People Say and Do. (It's our reactions that hurt us)

Anger Tells Us Lies

Anger Can Become An Addiction

We Can Choose Our Responses

The Best Way to Defend Yourself Against Anger Is To Feel Good About Yourself

Think About What You Can Give, Not Get

What We See In Others, We Bring Out In Them

You Cannot Be Insulted, If You Do Not Take It As An Insult

Being Healthy and Loving is More Important Than Being Right

When We Identify Ourselves As Victims, We Attract Victimizers

When We Expect Something, We Draw It To Ourselves

We Can Change The Whole Course of Our Lives By Changing Our Attitude Towards It

"May all beings have happiness and the courses of happiness"

Melt Away Toxic Feelings On The Anger Diet