Greetings!

As spring approaches we all feel the stirrings of new beginnings, bursts of life, shoots of flowers rising from the earth. This is a wonderful time to do spring cleaning not only in our homes, but in our hearts and lives. It's a time to let go of that which is worn out, and reconnect with all that brings joy and true well-being. As the trees and fields begin to bloom, let us return to that which is essential and bloom along with them.

This newsletter is dedicated to those who wish to learn he simple laws of love and how to practice them in all their relationships. Combining Eastern and Western wisdom, we discover easy, enjoyable steps to take which help make our relationships all we want them to be and allow us to live life to the brim.

When we grow up we put our toys away and want the real thing."

Uchiyama Roshi

Most of life is playing with toys. It's fun, enchanting, passes the time and distracts us from one of our greatest fears - boredom, nothing doing - being no one. When nothing is happening and we're bored we feel empty and dull. When there aren't distractions and entertainment, some don't even know if they're really alive.

Many use their time and life searching for new scenery, people, places, books, activities, friends. They tell others about their exciting vacations and adventures and feel as if they are where it's really happening - as if they're fully living their lives. They never ask what it is that's happening - or what it means to fully live one's life. They dread the time when they will be unable to "do things" and have to be silent, alone with themselves.

When we play with toys we feel as though our lives has purpose. Wonderful fantasies usually accompany our play, and these fantasies provide energy and excitement. When someone is driving in a brand new red convertible with the top down, singing at the top of his lungs, he feels wild, free, full of possibilities. Suppose he were riding a motorcycle instead, zooming along at full speed, and then the bike hits an oil slick, flips over and throws him onto the gravel. What happens to his freedom then?

Was his moment of exhilaration true freedom and power? Fantasies can be dangerous friends. When our toys are worn out, or break in half, we immediately grab for new ones to play with. If we do not do this, but stay fully awake in that moment, able to tolerate what may feel like loss, or emptiness, a new understanding of freedom arises, one that cannot be broken, that is not dependent upon anything.

Fantasies that fuel our lives are delusions. We have delusions about everything, who we are, who the other person is, what we are doing, where we are going, and the outcome of all our deeds. The great Zen Master Dogen says; "If fish are taken out of water they will not live. Water is life for fish, air is life for birds." What is life for man? Are these fantasies and toys our true life? If they are, as we grow, why do we crave that which is real?

Fantasies are like imaginary flowers dancing in front of our eyes. While some of these flowers are beautiful, others are simply weeds. Whether they are weeds or beautiful blossoms, delusions or fantasies, obstruct our view. They do not provide a clear picture of our lives or those in it. No matter how happy or excited we become, actions based upon delusions do not lead to where we think we are going, nor do they provide the returns we so long for.

What is the basis of delusion, of feeling we must run here and there seeking our good and happiness? What keeps it so rooted in our lives? Chasing after fantasies comes from not knowing who we really are what life is and what we are doing here. It is a yearning to make oneself someone important or make life seem worthwhile.

This craving is, of course, based upon the feeling that just as it is life is not worthwhile, and that just as I am, I am not of value. We mistakenly feel it is up to us to make ourselves into someone special. As we begin to allow life to arise as it does, to be with it in an accepting manner, experience the truth of each moment, letting fantasies come and go and seeing them for what they are, the false sense of life and of ourselves dissolves and we return to the place where true happiness and security reside.

It has been said that all of man's troubles and anguish arises from his being unable to be alone with himself in a room, with nothing to do. In order to return to our essential selves, we must first realize that the life we are living does not provide the meaning and fulfillment we long for. For many it is a life of hypnosis, addiction and slavery to the outside world, a life dominated by dreams. It is necessary to begin to let go of the false, become simple and able to tolerate what might feel like emptiness at first. This emptiness we feel initially is simply the relinquishing of delusions and the false excitement they generate. Once we do this, once we return to what is wholesome and real, the world opens to us in vast, unexpected and marvelous ways. Why not try and see?

(This article is based upon Zen Miraacles (Finding Peace in An Insane World), Wiley, by Dr Shoshanna).

Zen Miracles (Finding Peace in an Insane World)

In Chinese the symbol for crisis means opportunity. Relationship Mediation, the Practice of Peace, is dedicated to turning a time of conflict into one of growth , harmony and new possibilities; a situation where everyone wins.

A time of conflict does not have to be wrought with anger, fear and reprisals. There are ways to work through differences which are fair, balanced.Using the tools and skills of mediation, new solutions can be developed and rather than remaining adversaries, individuals can learn how to become Partners in Change.

The process of mediation focuses upon integrity, dialogue, good will and practical wisdom. It is dedicated to creating personalized, unique agreements, so that the relationship can be transformed into one that is constructive for all concerned. .

In keeping with Relationship Mediation: The Practice of Peace, we also provide training and programs custom tailored to your needs.

Steps to Forgiveness and Reconciliation

Dialogue and the Power of Listening,

Relationships As Spiritual Practice<>

The Practice and Principles of Zen in Creating Harmony and Lasting Peace of Mind.

Everyone Wins Mediation

Yes, a relationship can certainly survive infidelity and even thrive after that if the situation is handled properly. To begin, both parties must want to work on the relationship, to understand what happened here, why it happened and how to turn things around. It is crucial that your husband be willing to take responsibility, not blame you. It is also crucial that you be willing to let go of blame and instead understand that his infidelity is not necessarily a reflection of you, or of his love for you.

Forgiveness and the re-building of trust is a process which takes time, commitment and patience. In this process it is very helpful to work with a professional counselor who can help you sort out the many feelings that will arise and find ways of constructively handling them.

When both parties are committed to using this situation to grow, be more open to one another, communicate honestly and explore ways of having their relationship grow, things can even improve and the bond grow deeper.

Practice the 21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships

Even though it may seem painful to admit we've done wrong, or offended somebody, we can get great pleasure from setting it right. It is much easier to correct errors than we imagine.

Start by apologizing. Whether or not the apology is accepted, just the fact that we've offered it begins to set things right. The next step is to take the opposite action, either with that person or someone else. If the person you've wronged is willing to discuss it, you can ask what they'd like you to do to make it up. If they're not willing to participate, just take this new, positive action with someone else.

Instead of actually correcting errors, most people hold onto guilt. Guilt is simply a negative replacement for taking the positive action of repair. Guilt is not productive, new action is. Once new action is taken, guilt flies out of the window for good.

Read more about a life gratitude in Living By Zen (Timeless Truths For Everyday Life)

"Project Oatmeal" helps provide oatmeal for NY's only food rescue program, City Harvest, to distribute to its contacts at more than 600 emergency food shelters throughout the five boroughs of NYC. The food agencies then put that oatmeal directly into the hands of the hungry within a few days -- sometimes within a few hours--of receiving it. Project Oatmeal has cut a deal with Krasdale Foods (in the Bronx) to supply oatmeal at only $1.66 per 42 ounce cannister, which comes out to just 16 cents a meal. For a donation of just $1.66 you can provide over 10 meals immediately to help the hungry in NYC.

Go to http://www.projectoatmeal.org to find out more.

Find out more

Sunday afternoon, April 6th, from 5-6:30 p.m. in Manhattan.

Passover Retreat

April 24-26

Three day retreat which will include hours of meditation, Torah study, song and blessings.

1 p.m. to 9 p.m. each day

For more information on the workshops, please contact Dr Shoshanna at topspeaker@yahoo.com

In this revealing, intimate book, I ask the men themselves and they provide some startling and enlightening answers. Drawing on hundreds of interviews, I present men's own words and perspectives about the various reasons their relationships fell apart. You'll be surprised and relieved to hear what they have to say. Usually the reason men leave, has nothing to do with you. Some of the topics covered in the book include, The Fear of Committment, Ghosts of Past Relationships, The Mid-Life Crisis, The Repetition Compulsion, Competition With In-Laws, The Fantasy Woman, and many others.

Why keep going without understanding?Take new steps today to learn more about men and relationships, feel better about yourselves and findthe courage to love again.

Living by Zen (Timeless Truths for Everyday Life). www.livingbyzen.com

In this book you will discover the 2,000 Year Old Zen Secrets To Being Calm, Balanced and Positive, No Matter What Is Going On.

Probably the biggest need all of us have is to feel calm, balanced and positive no matter what is going on in our lives. This is exactly what you will feel when you begin to work with the unique program inside this e- book.

Living By Zen explores the things that steal your peace of mind, different ways you handle stress and why they do not work.

Download the book now and enjoy.

Living By Zen (Timeless Truths For Everyday Life)

Probably the biggest need all of us have is to experience a wonderful, loving relationship where we can be ourselves, and share our lives with someone meaningful. This is exactly what you will be able to create when you begin to work with the unique program inside my e-book, Save Your Relationship.

In the program you will discover the common mistakes people make in relationships and how to turn them around. You'll see why it's impossible to fail at love, once you understand how to build a foundation that can weather any storm.

Why not throw away old relationship habits and start new right now?

To find out more and order a copy, go to the website, http:.//www.truthaboutlove.com

GIVE A GIFT

Give a session with Dr. Shoshanna in person or on the phone, or invite Dr. Shoshanna to talk or offer a workshop in your community. She speaks on many topics including:

Save Your Relationship (21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships

From Anger to Peace of Mind (The Anger Diet)

Everyone Wins Mediation: "How To Get from I to We

Journey Through Illness , Loss and Change

- Dr. Shoshanna's programs are available as talks, half day workshops, full day , or week-end workshops.Contact us for more information. topspeaker@yahoo.com

Or, perhaps you'd like to give someone you care for a copy of one of Dr. Shoshanna's books such as Zen and The Art of Falling In Love, filled with delightful stories,guidelines and steppingstones to love, based on Zen practice.

Get a copy of Save Your Relationship today.

Everyone wants to be beautiful, young, healthy, fit and to feel good about themselves. There is no end to available diets and workouts, but the most important diet has been overlooked.

This is a diet that releases stress, lets you sleep soundly at night, reduces cravings and brings new friends into your life. This diet gets rid of the number one toxin that destroys well-being - anger.

In Dr. Shoshanna book, The Anger Diet, you'll learn about the 24 forms of anger, the lies anger tells you, and how to stop it fast with the Emergency Technique. Each day you'll give up a different form of anger and replace it with a life changing antidote. The life changing effects of this diet will appear soon after starting.

There's no need to keep going the way you have been. Choose to feel good today. Get a copy of The Anger Diet and see how easy it is to say no to upset.

The greatest obstacle we have to feeling good, healthy and loving is anger which accosts us in many ways and camouflages itself. Here are some quick Anger Busters, which can help us dissolve this toxic energy on the spot. They are based upon Dr Shoshanna's book, The Anger Diet, (30 Days To Stress Free Living).

Anger Busters For Everyday Life

Speak kindly to someone who's angry with you.

If someone has a complaint against you, really stop and listen.

Find 3 things you really like and respect about your opponent.

Give someone you are upset with the benefit of the doubt.

) Stop trying to control the person you are angry with. Let them be who they are.

If you are right in a dispute, give up being right (for that moment, or day). Let the other person keep his/her pride.

If two people you know are in a fight, speak well of each one of them to the other.

Put the other person ahead of yourself. (You do not to always be "first")

Do a forgiveness workout:

Make a point of forgiving at least one person you haven't yet forgiven everyday.

Ask yourself, "How much suffering is enough?" Am I willing to feel good today?

Remember:We Are Not Hurt By What People Say and Do. (It's our reactions that hurt us)

Anger Tells Us Lies

Anger Can Become An Addiction

We Can Choose Our Responses

The Best Way to Defend Yourself Against Anger Is To Feel Good About Yourself

Think About What You Can Give, Not Get

What We See In Others, We Bring Out In Them

You Cannot Be Insulted, If You Do Not Take It As An Insult

Being Healthy and Loving is More Important Than Being Right

When We Identify Ourselves As Victims, We Attract Victimizers

When We Expect Something, We Draw It To Ourselves

We Can Change The Whole Course of Our Lives By Changing Our Attitude Towards It

"May all beings have happiness and the courses of happiness"

Melt Away Toxic Feelings On The Anger Diet