Greetings!

Even though Valentine's Day took place a few days ago, there is no reason why we cannot consider the entire month of February a time to give and receive love. For many, Valentine's Day focused upon who loved them, what gifts and cards came their way. Needless to say, this could easily have caused feelings of disappointment or loneliness.

A better way to celebrate a season of love is to think of who it is you can reach out to? Who needs your time or love? Why not stop and extend yourself a little bit extra to make their days special?

This newsletter is dedicated to those who wish to learn he simple laws of love and how to practice them in all their relationships. Combining Eastern and Western wisdom, we discover easy, enjoyable steps to take which help make our relationships all we want them to be and allow us to live life to the brim.

Here are some ways to answer that question and turn your life upside down. You will learn how to clear away weeds in your garden and then realize "the entry point is right where you are."

1) THE ONE RIGHT BESIDES YOU

Most of the time we are searching and searching for the right person. Now it is time to stop running around seeking what is right in front of our eyes.

Look at a person who is close to you right now - anyone it happens to be. Notice the ways in which you push him away. Stop doing that. Allow the two of you to be together in whatever way you are. Let all of it be fine just as it is. Do the same thing tomorrow with someone else. We dismiss so many people who are in our worlds, while waiting for the "right one" to appear. The more we can be "right" with everyone, the more we can open up to what is being offered now, the fuller and more joyous our lives will be.

2) PLAYING AT LOVE

So many complain that they are not loved. The reason for this can be quite simple. They are so busy playing roles and games that the partner never gets to know who they really are. Notice what roles (or games) you play in relationships, and what roles you demand of others as well. See if you are in love with the person, or with the role he is playing right now. Why not let the roles go and simply be who you are. Who we are is always loveable and beautiful. It's the roles that get in the way.

3)LETTING HIM COME AND LETTING HIM GO

One great obstacle in living a life of love is the tendency to hold on. We grasp and cling to each, preventing the freedom of love from arising on its own. When someone comes into your life (or day) practice letting him come. Welcome the person - whoever he is. Enjoy what it is he brings. When it is time for a person to go away, practice letting him go. Do not turn the person's leaving into an experience of rejection, loss or abandonment. Realize that his leaving has nothing to do with you. It is simply time for him to go.Do this with yourself as well. Let yourself come and go freely in life, not tying yourself in unnecessary chains. The more we free others and ourselves, the more easily we fall in love.

4) PUTTING YOUR BAGGAGE DOWN

Many feel that love is not possible unless all their demands are met. They can be quite amazed to discover that these demands don't lead to happiness. They just may be obstacles to falling in love.

Take a look at what you feel is absolutely necessary in relationships. Now look at it again. Realize this is baggage you are carrying that may be keeping all kinds of people and possibilities away. Not only that - this baggage can be making you fearful and rigid, not open to what is available for you.

Let one of these demands subside. At first let it go for just one day and see how it feels to be without it. (Remember you can always take it back again). Now try another day. As we do this many times, we may find that that which we thought was crucial for our lives was really getting in the way. The more we do this the more light and happy we will feel. Not only that, but all kinds of new people, possibilities and situations we never noticed will start coming onto our path. We have made room for them by putting our baggage down.

5 GIVING GIFTS

Giving and receiving are the essence of relationships. To open up to falling in love, it is important to start giving naturally. What gifts do you give others in relationships? Take a few moments and also see what you hope to receive in return. Now find something new you can give to somebody. Give it. Do this everyday. Do it with all kinds of different people, without great fanfare and without expecting something in return. Then each day take a moment to find out what kind of gift you would like today. (Can be simple - a walk in the park, new lipstick, time with someone you care for.) Now give this to yourself each day. Although this exercise is simple, it is extremely powerful. When you give, remember not to look for anything in return By living with this open, generous mind, all kinds of other gifts come to you naturally.

6)MAKING FRIENDS WITH YOURSELF

Many say they are lonely, even with a partner at their side. This is simply because they have not yet made friends with themselves. Once they make friends with themselves and are able to be who they are, it is impossible to be lonely anymore. Make friends with yourself. Spend time noticing who you are. Accept all parts of yourself. Stop judging and rejecting what is going on inside. Be still and look within. Pay attention to your breath and just notice what is going on. Let it be. Accept it, and return to the breathing. Understand that breath by breath, you are perfect just as you are. Choose to have relationships with those who want and appreciate just what you are.

This article is based upon Zen and the Art of Falling in Love, and Save Your Relationship.

Save Your Relationship (21 Basic Laws to Successful Relationships)

Relationship Mediation offers new ways of looking at and solving old problems. The process of mediation focuses upon developing integrity, dialogue, good will and applying them to stuck places in your life. Using the tools of mediation, conflict can be transformed, revealing unexpected possibilities and ways of re-designing the relationship so that it works for all . Rather than be adversaries, come and learn how to become Partners in Change.

Everyone Wins also provide training and programs which offer psychological, spiritual and practical guidance in resolving conflict creatively, building healthy, empowering relationships, dealing with loss and change, learning to communicate responsibly and living a life dedicated to the highest good of all.

These programs are custom designed . Contact Dr Shoshanna for further information.

Everyone Wins Mediation

at Fire Lotus Zendo, 200 State Street, Brooklyn, NY

(718)875-8229

Saturday, February 23 · 10 am - 4 pm ·

$60 -Register: zcnyc@mro.org

Zen practice entails a profound inquiry into the nature of the self. Far from isolating themselves, Zen students are drawn into a deeper understanding and experience of their relationship with all beings. The fruit of practice is a profound love for all beings, free of clinging and unnecessary demands.

Through lecture, discussion, exercises and Q & A, this lively, interactive workshop will explore the laws of love and relationship, and how to practice them in our daily lives. Participants will explore how the difficulties that arise in relationships can be seen through these simple, yet profound, truths. We will also look at the way these truths relate to Zen practice-how one informs and enhances the other-and what the true heart of relationship really is.

Practice the 21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships

On a date that isn't what you hoped it would be, find three good things about the person and focus on them.

Everyone, at one time or another, has found themselves on a date that wasn't everything they hoped it would be. Rather than be bored, sullen, petulant or find things to complain about, find three good things about the person you're with. Focus on those all evening long.

You'll be amazed at how interesting a boring evening can become if you take the time and effort to look a little more deeply at the person you're with. Everyone has something to offer. It's up to you to find out what.

Read more about a life gratitude in Living By Zen (Timeless Truths For Everyday Life)

"Project Oatmeal" helps provide oatmeal for NY's only food rescue program, City Harvest, to distribute to its contacts at more than 600 emergency food shelters throughout the five boroughs of NYC. The food agencies then put that oatmeal directly into the hands of the hungry within a few days -- sometimes within a few hours--of receiving it. Project Oatmeal has cut a deal with Krasdale Foods (in the Bronx) to supply oatmeal at only $1.66 per 42 ounce cannister, which comes out to just 16 cents a meal. For a donation of just $1.66 you can provide over 10 meals immediately to help the hungry in NYC.

Go to http://www.projectoatmeal.org to find out more.

Find out more

In this revealing, intimate book, I ask the men themselves and they provide some startling and enlightening answers. Drawing on hundreds of interviews, I present men's own words and perspectives about the various reasons their relationships fell apart. You'll be surprised and relieved to hear what they have to say. Usually the reason men leave, has nothing to do with you. Some of the topics covered in the book include, The Fear of Committment, Ghosts of Past Relationships, The Mid-Life Crisis, The Repetition Compulsion, Competition With In-Laws, The Fantasy Woman, and many others.

Why keep going without understanding?Take new steps today to learn more about men and relationships, feel better about yourselves and findthe courage to love again.

Living by Zen (Timeless Truths for Everyday Life). www.livingbyzen.com

In this book you will discover the 2,000 Year Old Zen Secrets To Being Calm, Balanced and Positive, No Matter What Is Going On.

Probably the biggest need all of us have is to feel calm, balanced and positive no matter what is going on in our lives. This is exactly what you will feel when you begin to work with the unique program inside this e-book.

Living By Zen explores the things that steal your peace of mind, different ways you handle stress and why they do not work.

Download the book now and enjoy.

Living By Zen (Timeless Truths For Everyday Life)

Probably the biggest need all of us have is to experience a wonderful, loving relationship where we can be ourselves, and share our lives with someone meaningful. This is exactly what you will be able to create when you begin to work with the unique program inside my e-book, Save Your Relationship.

In the program you will discover the common mistakes people make in relationships and how to turn them around. You'll see why it's impossible to fail at love, once you understand how to build a foundation that can weather any storm.

Why not throw away old relationship habits and start new right now?

To find out more and order a copy, go to the website, http:.//www.truthaboutlove.com

GIVE A GIFT

Give a session with Dr. Shoshanna in person or on the phone, or invite Dr. Shoshanna to talk or offer a workshop in your community. She speaks on many topics including:

Save Your Relationship (21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships

From Anger to Peace of Mind (The Anger Diet)

Everyone Wins Mediation: "How To Get from I to We

Journey Through Illness , Loss and Change

- Dr. Shoshanna's programs are available as talks, half day workshops, full day , or week-end workshops.Contact us for more information. topspeaker@yahoo.com

Or, perhaps you'd like to give someone you care for a copy of one of Dr. Shoshanna's books such as Zen and The Art of Falling In Love, filled with delightful stories,guidelines and steppingstones to love, based on Zen practice.

Get a copy of Save Your Relationship today.

Everyone wants to be beautiful, young, healthy, fit and to feel good about themselves. There is no end to available diets and workouts, but the most important diet has been overlooked.

This is a diet that releases stress, lets you sleep soundly at night, reduces cravings and brings new friends into your life. This diet gets rid of the number one toxin that destroys well-being - anger.

In Dr. Shoshanna book, The Anger Diet, you'll learn about the 24 forms of anger, the lies anger tells you, and how to stop it fast with the Emergency Technique. Each day you'll give up a different form of anger and replace it with a life changing antidote. The life changing effects of this diet will appear soon after starting.

There's no need to keep going the way you have been. Choose to feel good today. Get a copy of The Anger Diet and see how easy it is to say no to upset.

The greatest obstacle we have to feeling good, healthy and loving is anger which accosts us in many ways and camouflages itself. Here are some quick Anger Busters, which can help us dissolve this toxic energy on the spot. They are based upon Dr Shoshanna's book, The Anger Diet, (30 Days To Stress Free Living).

Anger Busters For Everyday Life

Speak kindly to someone who's angry with you.

If someone has a complaint against you, really stop and listen.

Find 3 things you really like and respect about your opponent.

Give someone you are upset with the benefit of the doubt.

) Stop trying to control the person you are angry with. Let them be who they are.

If you are right in a dispute, give up being right (for that moment, or day). Let the other person keep his/her pride.

If two people you know are in a fight, speak well of each one of them to the other.

Put the other person ahead of yourself. (You do not to always be "first")

Do a forgiveness workout:

Make a point of forgiving at least one person you haven't yet forgiven everyday.

Ask yourself, "How much suffering is enough?" Am I willing to feel good today?

Remember:We Are Not Hurt By What People Say and Do. (It's our reactions that hurt us)

Anger Tells Us Lies

Anger Can Become An Addiction

We Can Choose Our Responses

The Best Way to Defend Yourself Against Anger Is To Feel Good About Yourself

Think About What You Can Give, Not Get

What We See In Others, We Bring Out In Them

You Cannot Be Insulted, If You Do Not Take It As An Insult

Being Healthy and Loving is More Important Than Being Right

When We Identify Ourselves As Victims, We Attract Victimizers

When We Expect Something, We Draw It To Ourselves

We Can Change The Whole Course of Our Lives By Changing Our Attitude Towards It

"May all beings have happiness and the courses of happiness"

Melt Away Toxic Feelings On The Anger Diet