Greetings!

As the holiday season intensifies and the New Year approaches, many join with friends and families in seeing the old year out and welcoming the new. Memories of old friends and years gone by can arise strongly. Gifts are given and received. Along with those who feel joyful and excited, many also feel deprived, disappointed or alone. Others feel great pressure to give (perhaps more than they are able).

Indeed this is a time when it is so beneficial to stop for a few moments and reflect more deeply on the very nature of love. What is really needed to feel fulfilled ? How can we turn this holiday season into one of growth, love and true wisdom for all?

I wish you all a beautiful holiday season and truly wonderful new year.

This newsletter is dedicated to those who wish to learn he simple laws of love and how to practice them in all their relationships. Combining Eastern and Western wisdom, we discover easy, enjoyable steps to take which help make our relationships all we want them to be and allow us to live life to the brim.

--Bhagwan

We are meant to live a life of love. When we're not in love, something's the matter. Unfortunately, most of us, unaware of this, become resigned to disappointment, loss and upset in relationships. No matter how successful we are in other aspects of our lives, many do not feel entitled to the same success in love. This is considered natural as one "grows up" and gives up the fantasies, foolishness and dreams of childhood.

But nothing could be further from the truth. It is the fantasies, foolishness, and confused expectations we develop as we grow older that put us into the constricted position most describe as being an "adult" or "becoming realistic about relationships." We don't realize that when we are not in love, something very precious is missing.

Being in love is the most mature and realistic thing you can do. It energizes your life, fills you with positivity, creates generosity and makes every moment beautiful. It immediately dispels the sense of purposelessness and disconnection that many grapple with. The body heals, the heart is happy. As a great teacher once said, "We never ask the meaning of life when we are in love."

Being in love is our natural state. The real question we should be asking is, why aren't we in love all the time? What is it that keeps this most precious inheritance away? How can we reclaim it and return to the intrinsic wisdom and spontaneity we had as children, when each moment was fresh and exciting and filled with adventure?

Many recoil from intimacy due to fear. But contrary to popular opinion, real love never hurts or wounds. It is only our confused expectations that can undermine our lives and lead us to painful consequences. There is a Buddhist saying "Give up poisonous food wherever it is offered to you." But most of us have little idea what is poison and what is nourishing in our relationships. Once we know the difference between real and counterfeit love, once we learn the laws of love and how to practice them, we will be able to live a life of love and build relationships that cannot fail. The fact of the matter is that we can turn our lives around at any time.

First we must find a completely different way of looking at love. In this process we are asked to suspend judgment and disbelief, to be willing to become a child once again - to explore, play, hug, cry and feel that the world is filled with endless possibilities. We also need the ability to say No to all of the people, beliefs, habits and desires which can take our faith and love away. Falling in love doesn't mean being blind, or entering into fantasy. It means waking up out of darkened dreams to finally see the beauty which surrounds us. A little endurance is required, along with the willingness to face the shadows that will dispel as soon as we invite in the light.

To begin this process, let us look a little deeper at what goes on in our hearts. We all want love. Then when we get it, we become afraid and start to run in the opposite direction. On the one hand, we are searching for love, searching for some lasting relationship. On the other hand, we are relieved when the person goes away.

It always seems as if relationships are difficult-difficult to find, to keep and to enjoy. Yet the fundamental truth is that there is no inherent problem with relationships at all. There is never a scarcity of relationships, there is never a scarcity of love. What is it that really keeps us from this love we are so hungry for?

The usual answer to this question is that there are no good men or women around, or there is something fatally flawed about our partner. No matter who we meet or are with, something is wrong. In the beginning we may feel we have finally found the perfect person. Then before we know it, conflict develops, irritation grows. Joy, pleasure and excitement, the feeling of being loved and valued, fade imperceptibly. Most people have no idea why.

Let's start by looking within. So many relate to others by immediately looking for awhat is wrong. .No one can ever really live up to the image of the partner they had in mind. While they had high hopes in the beginning, efore long they begin looking for a way out. Others know just what to do to cause their partners to leave.

When some individuals have bitter or disappointing experiences in love, they shut down, and look past every person they meet. These individuals are present in body only. As soon as someone tries to make contact, they run a million miles away.

Ultimately, from the psychological point of view, not falling in love, is not so unusual. In fact, many can do very well, become quite healthy, and yet never get over their disappointments in love. They may never be able to develop satisfying, primary love relationships, but this in and of itself is not central. There are many ways to sublimate this need, and have other meaningful relationships, a productive work life, and experience a satisfying life.

Spiritually speaking, however, we ask is a person's very life at stake if they aren't able to truly love? The answer is Yes. Without the ability to know real love, the precious taste of this life is thwarted, and a person may be doomed to living her days as a "Hungry Ghost."

All of us have the hungry ghosts within us at times. But we can change this at any moment. To begin, all we need do is be willing to allow ourselves to look for and find that which is beautiful and worthwhile in everyone, (including ourselves).

During this holiday season, let's give it a try. It only takes a moment to do so, but the happiness lasts all day long.

(This article is based upon Zen and the Art of Falling in Love, by Dr Shoshanna).

Zen and The Art of Falling in Love

This time of life does not have to be wrought with anger, fear and reprisals. There are ways to work through differences which are fair, balanced.Using the tools and skills of mediation, new solutions can be developed and rather than remaining adversaries, individuals can learn how to become Partners in Change.

The process of mediation focuses upon integrity, dialogue, good will and practical wisdom. It is dedicated to creating personalized, unique agreements, plans, solutions and blueprints, so that a present relationship can be transformed into one that will be supportive and constructive for all concerned. .

Mediation is a guard against escalating differences, adversarial positions and increasing emotional and financial costs. The entire process is simple, healing and timely.

A free half hour consultation is available so you can find out more

We mediate conflict in:

Relationships

Families

Marriages

Div orce

Post divorce

:SCHEDULE

Shoshanna will be offering a course at Marymount College at the end of January - Everyone Wins Mediation: Creative Mediation and Conflict Resolution

Workshop, Jan. 22nd - from Anger to Peace of Mind.

Everyone wins also provide training and programs which offer psychological, spiritual and practical guidance in resolving conflict creatively, building healthy, empowering relationships, dealing with loss and change, learning to communicate responsibly and living a life dedicated to the highest good of all.

These programs are custom designed for associations, hospitals, professionals, clergy, the community and workplace.

Learn more at: http://www.newyorkmediates.com

So often we look for feelings of well being and contentment through being with others, hoping they will take away old sadness and fulfill us today. In many lives there comes a time when this does not happen. We then must go deeper. At a time like this, it is important to look within. Spend time with yourself. Connect to who you truly are, and what it is that is most meaningful to you. Re-evaluate where you have come from and where your life is headed. And most importantly of all, rather than focus upon what you are receiving from others, focus upon what you can give. Find others who need to receive and discover ways to bring joy, happiness and friendship into their lives. Doing both of these is like two wings of a bird, both are needed in order to fly.

Practice the 21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships

How often we hold onto and collect that which makes us happy, thinking that the more we have, the happier we will be. This season, turn this around. Find something that is meaningful to you, and give it to another. Then do it again.

As we open up and let go, as we stop grasping onto that which we feel we need for happiness or security a larger sense of life arises, where no grasping is needed at all.

Read more about a life gratitude in Living By Zen (Timeless Truths For Everyday Life)

This book has the ability to awaken, inspire and transform.

Like the terse poesy of the Indian sage Kabir whose verses startled me into immediate contemplation many years ago, the words on the pages that follow surprise the unsuspecting mind into silence.

The work is alive, refreshing, humourous, enjoyable and meaningful.

Find out more

You will enjoy this a lot.

Escape Your Own Prison

In this revealing, intimate book, I ask the men themselves and they provide some startling and enlightening answers. Drawing on hundreds of interviews, I present men's own words and perspectives about the various reasons their relationships fell apart. You'll be surprised and relieved to hear what they have to say. Usually the reason men leave, has nothing to do with you. Some of the topics covered in the book include, The Fear of Committment, Ghosts of Past Relationships, The Mid-Life Crisis, The Repetition Compulsion, Competition With In-Laws, The Fantasy Woman, and many others.

Why keep going without understanding?Take new steps today to learn more about men and relationships, feel better about yourselves and findthe courage to love again.

Living by Zen (Timeless Truths for Everyday Life). www.livingbyzen.com

In this book you will discover the 2,000 Year Old Zen Secrets To Being Calm, Balanced and Positive, No Matter What Is Going On.

Probably the biggest need all of us have is to feel calm, balanced and positive no matter what is going on in our lives. This is exactly what you will feel when you begin to work with the unique program inside this e-book.

Living By Zen explores the things that steal your peace of mind, different ways you handle stress and why they do not work.

Download the book now and enjoy.

Living By Zen (Timeless Truths For Everyday Life)

Probably the biggest need all of us have is to experience a wonderful, loving relationship where we can be ourselves, and share our lives with someone meaningful. This is exactly what you will be able to create when you begin to work with the unique program inside my e-book, Save Your Relationship.

In the program you will discover the common mistakes people make in relationships and how to turn them around. You'll see why it's impossible to fail at love, once you understand how to build a foundation that can weather any storm.

Why not throw away old relationship habits and start new right now?

To find out more and order a copy, go to the website, http:.//www.truthaboutlove.com

GIVE A GIFT

Give a session with Dr. Shoshanna in person or on the phone, or invite Dr. Shoshanna to talk or offer a workshop in your community. She speaks on many topics including:

Save Your Relationship (21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships

From Anger to Peace of Mind (The Anger Diet)

Everyone Wins Mediation: "How To Get from I to We

Journey Through Illness , Loss and Change

- Dr. Shoshanna's programs are available as talks, half day workshops, full day , or week-end workshops.Contact us for more information. topspeaker@yahoo.com

Or, perhaps you'd like to give someone you care for a copy of one of Dr. Shoshanna's books such as Zen and The Art of Falling In Love, filled with delightful stories,guidelines and steppingstones to love, based on Zen practice.

Get a copy of Save Your Relationship today.

Everyone wants to be beautiful, young, healthy, fit and to feel good about themselves. There is no end to available diets and workouts, but the most important diet has been overlooked.

This is a diet that releases stress, lets you sleep soundly at night, reduces cravings and brings new friends into your life. This diet gets rid of the number one toxin that destroys well-being - anger.

In Dr. Shoshanna book, The Anger Diet, you'll learn about the 24 forms of anger, the lies anger tells you, and how to stop it fast with the Emergency Technique. Each day you'll give up a different form of anger and replace it with a life changing antidote. The life changing effects of this diet will appear soon after starting.

There's no need to keep going the way you have been. Choose to feel good today. Get a copy of The Anger Diet and see how easy it is to say no to upset.

The greatest obstacle we have to feeling good, healthy and loving is anger which accosts us in many ways and camouflages itself. Here are some quick Anger Busters, which can help us dissolve this toxic energy on the spot. They are based upon Dr Shoshanna's book, The Anger Diet, (30 Days To Stress Free Living).

Anger Busters For Everyday Life

Speak kindly to someone who's angry with you.

If someone has a complaint against you, really stop and listen.

Find 3 things you really like and respect about your opponent.

Give someone you are upset with the benefit of the doubt.

) Stop trying to control the person you are angry with. Let them be who they are.

If you are right in a dispute, give up being right (for that moment, or day). Let the other person keep his/her pride.

If two people you know are in a fight, speak well of each one of them to the other.

Put the other person ahead of yourself. (You do not to always be "first")

Do a forgiveness workout:

Make a point of forgiving at least one person you haven't yet forgiven everyday.

Ask yourself, "How much suffering is enough?" Am I willing to feel good today?

Remember:We Are Not Hurt By What People Say and Do. (It's our reactions that hurt us)

Anger Tells Us Lies

Anger Can Become An Addiction

We Can Choose Our Responses

The Best Way to Defend Yourself Against Anger Is To Feel Good About Yourself

Think About What You Can Give, Not Get

What We See In Others, We Bring Out In Them

You Cannot Be Insulted, If You Do Not Take It As An Insult

Being Healthy and Loving is More Important Than Being Right

When We Identify Ourselves As Victims, We Attract Victimizers

When We Expect Something, We Draw It To Ourselves

We Can Change The Whole Course of Our Lives By Changing Our Attitude Towards It

"May all beings have happiness and the courses of happiness"

Melt Away Toxic Feelings On The Anger Diet