Greetings!

Labor Day Week-end is almost upon us, the end of summer, time to take the nourishment we received all summer long and harvest it for the year ahead. As fall approaches, let us take time to appreciate the months that have gone by, to give thanks to those who shared them with us, and look forward to the months ahead with renewed enthusiasm, aliveness and growth.

This newsletter is dedicated to those who wish to learn he simple laws of love and how to practice them in all their relationships. Combining Eastern and Western wisdom, we discover easy, enjoyable steps to take which help make our relationships all we want them to be and allow us to live life to the brim.

There are a number of different factors that cause individuals to doubt their relationships. Some say that although they love the person they do not know if they are loved back; others don't know if they're ready for commitment; some are concerned about qualities or behaviors they're uncomfortable with. Others remain in relationships hoping to change their partners, or from fear of being alone. In many cases individuals are reluctant to leave because they don't want to lose the time they've put in, can't face starting all over again. Many do not trust their judgment, fear they'll always make mistakes.

There are certain checkpoints we can utilize to see whether the relationship has the potential to be what we're looking for - a situation in which both people feel satisfied and can naturally grow. Many do not take the time to sit down and really ask themselves what it is they need and want in a relationship. Before we turn to the checkpoints, make a list what you truly need and want in a relationship. Be honest with yourself. Divide the list into three sections:

Section 1: List Your Priorities, what is it that which you cannot give up. Some examples might be honesty, monogamy, self- respect. Be honest with yourself. Each one's priorities differ and that's fine.

Section 2: That Which You Want But Can Do Without. Some examples of this could be - enjoying the same sports, enjoying the same vacations, liking each other's family.

Section 3: That Which You Cannot Tolerate. Some examples might be deception, abusive behavior, volatility.

After you have worked on your own list carefully, your own needs and values will come into better focus for you. Now take a look at your relationship and see how it fits. Sometimes it will become immediately clear that he is or isn't the right one for you. Other times when it isn't so clear, it is helpful to turn to the following checkpoints:

Checkpoints: Ask Yourself:

1) Am I counting on the fact that the person will change one day?

It is always a mistake to stay in a relationship if it is based upon wanting the other person to change. Although people promise to change and want to, change is difficult and it only happens when they are dissatisfied with themselves and in pain. Sometimes people change to please their partners, but often these changes slip away. They are temporary because in order to change deep patterns, time, work and effort are needed.

Look and see how much of this person you can accept just as they are. Then look and see if you can learn to live with and accept the other parts of them. If you want to change most of them, it's best to let go. If there are just a few areas that bother you, try to accept them as they are. When a person feels accepted often to everyone's surprise these difficult qualities change all by themselves.

A)Even though they say they say they love me, do I feel appreciated and loved?

It is one thing to express love verbally and other for it to be real. If you consistently do not feel loved and appreciated, pay attention to that. For love to be real it must be acted upon in ways that are positive and constructive for both of you. Individuals feel loved when they feel considered, listened to and respected. If your partner says they love you, and do not take your needs into account, then this is not love, just some kind of emotional attachment. Trust your feelings. If the relationship is basically good for you, you will feel cared for and caring.

B)Is It Easy To Give To The Person?

This is a very good barometer of how you are feeling in a relationship. When we want to give to our partners, (sexually and otherwise), it is because we are usually being cared for in return. When we find it hard to meet their needs, something is wrong. Pay attention to this signal. Find out what is causing you to hold out, if you are. Some withhold their love, time and attention as a way of letting the person know that they are not getting their needs met. Some do it out of anger or hidden resentment about something that has gone on.

When you have trouble giving to your partner, take some time to see what it is you are resenting, what need you may feel is not being met. Then, see if you can ask for what you want. Give the person a chance to give to you. Some are simply are not aware of what their partner's needs are.

C)Are They Willing To Talk Things Over Openly?

When this factor is in place, when a person is willing to sit down, listen to you and also tell you what they are feeling, you have a strong, positive element to work with. All relationships run into obstacles, the main question is - do you have the tools and the willingness to work things out? If the person you are with is willing to work on things, then much is possible. On the other hand, no matter how wonderful a person is, if they are unwilling to talk and to listen, it will make it difficult in the long run to build a strong relationship. If they aren't used to doing this, let them know how important this is in a relationship, and start doing it slowly. Talk at times when the person receptive. During your communications be careful not to criticize or blame. Simply say, "This is how I feel -", rather than giving an ultimatum or making him feel inadequate. Give him positive feedback and soon it will become not only natural to share feelings, but enjoyable as well.

D) Are They Truthful? Can I Trust Them?

Often there are questions of trust in a relationship. If you find over and over that the person is not truthful with you, then it is very difficult to continue. Trust is the basis of all good relationships. Without trust there is a lack of security and the ability to be open and vulnerable. No matter how many wonderful qualities the person may have, they simply may not be ready for the honesty required in a good relationship. Let the person know that trust is a necessity and see if they are truly capable of it.

When you make your list of priorities and answer these basic questions, it should become quite clear whether or not this relationship is the right one. If it isn't and you have to move on, take time to be thankful for all the good you received from this person. Focus on the ways in which you grew and what you learned. Leave with a positive outlook this will help greatly in going forward in your life.

Discover the surprising truths about love that can save your relationship and make it all you want it to be. Even a wonderful relationship can become difficult when we don't know the basic laws of love and how to apply them in our everyday lives.

Probably the biggest need all of us have is to experience a wonderful, loving relationship where we can be ourselves, and share our lives with someone meaningful. This is exactly what you will be able to create when you begin to work with the unique program inside my e-book, Save Your Relationship.

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Anger Busters For Everyday Life

Speak kindly to someone who's angry with you.

If someone has a complaint against you, really stop and listen.

Find 3 things you really like and respect about your opponent.

Give someone you are upset with the benefit of the doubt.

) Stop trying to control the person you are angry with. Let them be who they are.

If you are right in a dispute, give up being right (for that moment, or day). Let the other person keep his/her pride.

If two people you know are in a fight, speak well of each one of them to the other.

Put the other person ahead of yourself. (You do not to always be "first")

Do a forgiveness workout:

Make a point of forgiving at least one person you haven't yet forgiven everyday.

Ask yourself, "How much suffering is enough?" Am I willing to feel good today?

Remember:We Are Not Hurt By What People Say and Do. (It's our reactions that hurt us)

Anger Tells Us Lies

Anger Can Become An Addiction

We Can Choose Our Responses

The Best Way to Defend Yourself Against Anger Is To Feel Good About Yourself

Think About What You Can Give, Not Get

What We See In Others, We Bring Out In Them

You Cannot Be Insulted, If You Do Not Take It As An Insult

Being Healthy and Loving is More Important Than Being Right

When We Identify Ourselves As Victims, We Attract Victimizers

When We Expect Something, We Draw It To Ourselves

We Can Change The Whole Course of Our Lives By Changing Our Attitude Towards It

"May all beings have happiness and the courses of happiness"

Melt Away Toxic Feelings With The Anger Diet

Everyone wants to be beautiful, young, healthy, fit and to feel good about themselves. There is no end to available diets and workouts, but the most important diet has been overlooked.

This is a diet that releases stress, lets you sleep soundly at night, reduces cravings and brings new friends into your life. This diet gets rid of the number one toxin that destroys well-being - anger.

In Dr. Shoshanna book, The Anger Diet, you'll learn about the 24 forms of anger, the lies anger tells you, and how to stop it fast with the Emergency Technique. Each day you'll give up a different form of anger and replace it with a life changing antidote. The life changing effects of this diet will appear soon after starting.

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If he's beginning to pull away after you've spent time together in a summer vacation house, it may well be that he's preparing for separation. You've had lots of time together and now that the structure is about to change, there may be anxiety on his part about how things will go from here. It is also possible that he has had a different view of the relationship than you have.

There is no way to make sure something lasts. All you can do is sit down at this point and talk things over. See if he has the same wishes you do. Don't make it a do or die discussion, just a gentle exploration of where he sees things going from here. It's possible he may be relieved to discover that you want things to continue. Or perhaps he may not feel that way. The best way to help things go forward is not to place any pressure on the situation, to be open and accepting and allow things to grow as they will. And, if he does not wish to go forward, do not use that to invalidate either yourself or the time you've shared.

Practice the 21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships

Some of us feel that the only way to be secure is to control everyone and everything around us. Not only is this impossible, but it creates additional tension and anxiety for all concerned.

Consciously decide today to let others be as they are. Find someone you usually control a lot and allow that person to be himself or herself. you will be amazed at how much more easily and enjoyably your day will go. You'll also be delighted at the new sense of friendliness the person will feel towards you.

This will feel so good you might even try to stop controlling yourself. and just relax and enjoy who you are.

Read more about a life gratitude in Living By Zen (Timeless Truths For Everyday Life)

21 Unfailing Laws of Successful Relationships

30 Days to Lasting Peace of Mind (The Anger Diet)

How To Become Your Own Best Friend (The Art of Building Real Self Worth)

p>Living and Loving Through Illness and Change

- Dr. Shoshanna's programs are available as talks, half day workshops, full day , or week-end workshops.Contact us for more information. topspeaker@yahoo.com

Or, perhaps you'd like to give someone you care for a copy of one of Dr. Shoshanna's books such as Zen and The Art of Falling In Love, filled with delightful stories,guidelines and steppingstones to love, based on Zen practice.

Dr. Shoshanna appears regularly on Hallmark TV, New Morning Show. For more information about the show go to: http://www.newmorningtv.tv

Learn more about The New Morning Show

After a relationship ends, whether it's a twenty-year marriage, or a promising romance that becomes disappointing, women ask what went wrong over and over again. Usually they blame themselves, feeling that it they had done something different things wouldn't have turned out as they did. A great deal of the pain and upset is due to the fact that they don't really understand what happened, what caused the man to go.

In this revealing, intimate book, I ask the men themselves and they provide some startling and enlightening answers. Drawing on hundreds of interviews, I present men's own words and perspectives about the various reasons their relationships fell apart. You'll be surprised and relieved to hear what they have to say. Usually the reason men leave, has nothing to do with you.

Some of the topics covered in the book include, The Fear of Committment, Ghosts of Past Relationships, The Mid-Life Crisis, The Repetition Compulsion, Competition With In-Laws, The Fantasy Woman, and many others.

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Why Men Leave

In this book you will discover the 2,000 Year Old Zen Secrets To Being Calm, Balanced and Positive, No Matter What Is Going On.

Probably the biggest need all of us have is to feel calm, balanced and positive no matter what is going on in our lives. This is exactly what you will feel when you begin to work with the unique program inside this e-book.

Living By Zen explores the things that steal your peace of mind, different ways you handle stress and why they do not work.

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Find out all kinds of time tested ways of improving your life