Greetings!

Spring is here and along with the beautiful days, we also live in a world where we see anger, upset and chaos erupt on an on-going basis.

Few realize, however, that anger is a choice we make. We do not have to be subject all that impinges upon us, but can make a strong decision to take charge of our lives and feelings.

This issue offers two articles with specific steps on how to do this. It is dedicated to the truth that peace starts with one person at a time. Let that person be you.

This newsletter is dedicated to those who wish to learn he simple laws of love and how to practice them in all their relationships. Combining eastern and western wisdom, we discover easy, enjoyable steps to take which help make our relationships all we want them to be and allow us to live life to the brim.

There are simple steps to take which can easily turn our state of mind around. Negative emotions can easily become addictions. The longer we hold onto them, the harder it is to leave them behind. The steps offered in this article are simple, but powerful. The more we practice them the stronger we become.

Tapping Into Our Fundamental Strength

In Zen we say, "Open the treasure house within." This reminds us that we are all endowed with many resources that we're not aware of, and do not use in our lives. In order to get in touch with these innate abilities, we must stop depending upon others to solve our problems for us.

We must give up blaming and leaning on others, and turn within. As soon as we start to take responsibility for what's happening and for how we respond to it, we begin to tap into our fundamental strength.

Paying Attention

We are what we think about. When we stay fixed on one person, thought or situation, we get caught in the grip of self- centered thoughts. The more we give attention to that which is upsetting, the more strength it has to rule our lives. This can be counteracted rather easily.

Taking back your focus and attention.

The power of focus is the power of life. Spend time each day developing focus and concentration. This is also called meditation.

Withdraw yourself from the chaotic world for a period of time each day, and pull your attention back within. Sit with a straight back, do not move and concentrate upon your breath. Let random thoughts come and go. Do not suppress them, but do not let them grab your attention away. (At first you may be besieged by many surprising thoughts and feelings, but if you simply notice them and then return your attention to your breathing, these will soon die down). Count your breath from one to ten, then all over again. Do this for at least ten to fifteen minutes without moving. By doing this we are stopping what is called the monkey mind.

Stopping The Monkey Mind

The monkey mind is the mind that jumps from one thing to the next, fears, demands, grabs and sabotages our lives. It is this part of ourselves which causes sorrow and fear. But it cannot take over our lives, when we take charge of our focus. By meditating daily, we not only take the steam away from the monkey mind, strengthen parts of ourselves which can guide and lead us in a new direction. Before long we begin to experience calm, balance and well-being, no matter what's going on.

Finding A New Perspective

This wonderful time spent with oneself is a way to discover a new perspective, become able to see clearly and put the situation in a larger context. This becomes a fortification against many of life's storms. By turning within, we develop a place we can always return to, for wisdom, strength and comfort.

When we allow people and events to upset and consume us, we are giving this precious, inner treasure away.

Find out more in Dr. Shoshanna's e-book, Living by Zen (Timeless Truths for Everyday Life). www.livingbyzen.com

In this book you will discover the 2,000 Year Old Zen Secrets To Being Calm, Balanced and Positive, No Matter What Is Going On.

Probably the biggest need all of us have is to feel calm, balanced and positive no matter what is going on in our lives. This is exactly what you will feel when you begin to work with the unique program inside this e-book.

Living By Zen explores the things that steal your peace of mind, different ways you handle stress and why they do not work.

Download the book now and enjoy.

Click Here To Get A Copy Of :Living by Zen (Timeless Truths For Everyday Life)

In fact, when we are angry we are out of control and our ability to respond wisely is diminished. It's time to look at anger in a new way and understand what it really is. Then we can take new steps that help us of anger, make us feel better, and see clearly what to do.

Step 1: Realize that anger is a choice you make

Anger is not a form of power, strength, or control. It is a toxin, which sometimes provides a temporary high. After this high subsides, the individual is left weaker and more uncertain than before. Not only that, the negative consequences of our outburst have to be handled. Basically anger narrows our focus, creates confusion and limits our ability to find constructive solutions.

When anger arises, stop, breathe deeply, and immediately look at the larger perspective. Put the incident in context.

For a moment, allow the other person to be "right". Tell yourself you have plenty of time to be right later. Your main goal is to have the anger subside so you can be in control.

Step 2: Pinpoint the 24 forms of anger.

Anger camouflages itself and manifests in many ways. Unrecognized anger turns into all kinds of unwanted behavior that become impossible to stop. We have to become aware that this behavior is just another form of anger and pull it out at the root.

Some of the 24 forms of anger are: depression, hypocrisy, self- sabotage, low self- esteem, burnout, passive aggressive behavior, compulsions, perfectionism, gossiping, lying, and various addictions. When you realize that these are being fueled by anger, you can take appropriate steps to handle them. >Step 3: Give Up Being A Martyr - Stop Giving and Taking Guilt

Most martyrs do not think of themselves as martyrs. They may describe themselves as long- suffering, giving much more than they get. There's a huge difference between giving and manipulation. Martyrs manipulate with guilt.

But guilt is a lethal toxin, fueled by anger. When you make someone feel guilty, you are harming them. When people feel guilty they find some way to punish themselves and others. Give up giving guilt and also give up taking it. Recognize this as a form of anger, which has no constructive outcome.

Step 4: Stop Casting Blame

Blaming others (and ourselves) is an expression of hurt, disappointment and anger and never leads to a constructive solution. Stop casting blame. By blaming others you are disempowering yourself. By taking responsibility you are taking back control. Stop a moment and see the situation through your opponent's eyes. When you do this blame dissolves on the spot.

The best defense against being hurt is to feel good about yourself and the way a person responds to you says more about them, than about you. As you stop casting blame you will be letting go of all kinds of resentments. Resentment inevitably affects our well-being and always bounces back on us. Look for and find what is positive in each individual. Focus on that.

Step 5 - Create Realistic Expectations

There is nothing that makes us more angry and hurt than expectations we've been holding onto that have not been met. It is important that you become aware of your expectations. Are they realistic? Does the other person hold similar expectations in your relationship?

Let go of unrealistic fantasies. Once this is done, much opportunity for anger diminishes on the spot.

Step 6 - Develop A Grateful Mind

See what different people in your lives are truly giving to you. We often take many things for granted and are even unaware of all that we are receiving day by day.

Take time to write down each day what you are receiving. Be grateful for that. Make a point of giving thanks. The more we thank others, the happier we become.

Also, take time to write down all that you have given others that day. It may be a surprise. We often think we are giving so much and receiving so little. This is a great cause of anger and feelings of deprivation. However, when we take time daily to look carefully, we are often surprised and how much we have received and how little given in return. As we see how much we receive daily, anger naturally subsides and we learn to take pleasure both in what we give and receive.

Cc/author/2007

Go On The Anger Diet And Start To Feel Good Today - Click here for get a copy

Abuse has a way of escalating and must be nipped in the bud. No matter how good he is to you at other times, there is never a reason to permit or accept abuse from anyone. You must create strong boundaries and rules and let him know that this behavior is entirely unacceptable. No matter how he's feeling, there's never a reason to take it out on you, or anyone.

He may find all kinds of reasons to justify what he's doing, but you must not accept them. All differences can and must be worked through in a respectful manner, through open, considerate communication.

Being in an abusive relationship takes a great toll on your self-esteem. It is most crucial to learn to respect yourself and to also require respect from those you interact with. Nothing less will do.

Read more about relationships, in Save Your Relationship (21 Laws of Successful Relationships)

21 Unfailing Laws of Successful Relationships

30 Days to Lasting Peace of Mind (The Anger Diet)

How To Become Your Own Best Friend (The Art of Building Real Self Worth)

How To Be Un-Defeatable (Finding The Courage To Move On)

Steppingstones to Love

Living and Loving Through Illness and Change

-Dr. Shoshanna's programs are available as talks, half day workshops, full day , or week-end workshops.Contact us for more information. topspeaker@yahoo.com

Or, perhaps you'd like to give someone you care for a copy of one of Dr. Shoshanna's books such as Zen and The Art of Falling In Love, filled with delightful stories,guidelines and steppingstones to love, based on Zen practice.

Dr. Shoshanna appears regularly on Hallmark TV, New Morning Show. For more information about the show go to: http://www.newmorningtv.tv

Learn more about The New Morning Show

After a relationship ends, whether it's a twenty-year marriage, or a promising romance that becomes disappointing, women ask what went wrong over and over again. Usually they blame themselves, feeling that it they had done something different things wouldn't have turned out as they did. A great deal of the pain and upset is due to the fact that they don't really understand what happened, what caused the man to go.

In this revealing, intimate book, I ask the men themselves and they provide some startling and enlightening answers. Drawing on hundreds of interviews, I present men's own words and perspectives about the various reasons their relationships fell apart. You'll be surprised and relieved to hear what they have to say. Usually the reason men leave, has nothing to do with you.

Some of the topics covered in the book include, The Fear of Committment, Ghosts of Past Relationships, The Mid-Life Crisis, The Repetition Compulsion, Competition With In-Laws, The Fantasy Woman, and many others.

Why keep going without understanding?Take new steps today to learn more about men and relationships, feel better about yourselves and findthe courage to love again.

Why Men Leave

Anger Busters For Everyday Life

Speak kindly to someone who's angry with you.

If someone has a complaint against you, really stop and listen.

Find 3 things you really like and respect about your opponent.

Give someone you are upset with the benefit of the doubt.

) Stop trying to control the person you are angry with. Let them be who they are.

If you are right in a dispute, give up being right (for that moment, or day). Let the other person keep his/her pride.

If two people you know are in a fight, speak well of each one of them to the other.

Put the other person ahead of yourself. (You do not to always be "first")

Do a forgiveness workout:

Make a point of forgiving at least one person you haven't yet forgiven everyday.

Ask yourself, "How much suffering is enough?" Am I willing to feel good today?

Remember:We Are Not Hurt By What People Say and Do. (It's our reactions that hurt us)

Anger Tells Us Lies

Anger Can Become An Addiction

We Can Choose Our Responses

The Best Way to Defend Yourself Against Anger Is To Feel Good About Yourself

Think About What You Can Give, Not Get

What We See In Others, We Bring Out In Them

You Cannot Be Insulted, If You Do Not Take It As An Insult

Being Healthy and Loving is More Important Than Being Right

When We Identify Ourselves As Victims, We Attract Victimizers

When We Expect Something, We Draw It To Ourselves

We Can Change The Whole Course of Our Lives By Changing Our Attitude Towards It

"May all beings have happiness and the courses of happiness"

Melt Away Toxic Feelings With The Anger Diet

Everyone wants to be beautiful, young, healthy, fit and to feel good about themselves. There is no end to available diets and workouts, but the most important diet has been overlooked.

This is a diet that releases stress, lets you sleep soundly at night, reduces cravings and brings new friends into your life. This diet gets rid of the number one toxin that destroys well-being - anger.

In Dr. Shoshanna book, The Anger Diet, you'll learn about the 24 forms of anger, the lies anger tells you, and how to stop it fast with the Emergency Technique. Each day you'll give up a different form of anger and replace it with a life changing antidote. The life changing effects of this diet will appear soon after starting.

There's no need to keep going the way you have been. Choose to feel good today. Get a copy of The Anger Diet and see how easy it is to say no to upset.

The Anger Diet (30 Days To Stress Free Living)

Even a wonderful relationship can become difficult when we don't know the basic laws of love and how to apply them in our everyday lives.

Probably the biggest need all of us have is to experience a wonderful, loving relationship where we can be ourselves, and share our lives with someone meaningful. This is exactly what you will be able to create when you begin to work with the unique program inside my e-book, Save Your Relationship.

In the program you will discover the common mistakes people make in relationships and how to turn them around. You'll see why it's impossible to fail at love, once you understand how to build a foundation that can weather any storm.

Why not throw away old relationship habits and start new right now?

To find out more and order a copy, go to the website, http:.//www.truthaboutlove.com

Find out all kinds of time tested ways of improving your life