Dr. Shoshanna's Newsletter - Touchstones To Love

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Dr. Shoshanna's Newsletter

Touchstones To Love

November, 2005

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Creating Healing and Peace

-- Announcing: The Anger Diet (30 Days to Stress-Free Living) by Dr. Shoshanna

-- Happy Thanksgiving

-- How To Develop A Grateful Mind

-- Exercise of The Month -What Did And Didn't Work This Year

-- Services Available - And, Something New - Renewing Your Love For One Another

-- Questionnaire: How Zen Are You In Love?

Greetings!

As Thanksgiving approaches our thoughts turn to ways in which we can express our gratitude, not only for one another, but for the many gifts we receive daily. This is a time we gather together, recalling past years and offering warmth and closeness to those we care for. This can also become a time of stress, due to many pressures in relationships an due to old memories that arise at this time of year.

It is wonderful to view the holiday season as a time of practice. It is a time not only for forgiveness, but for communication which heals. It is also a time to take that which has been difficult and turn it into a source of growth.

This newsletter is dedicated to looking at our lives, ourselves and our relationships and finding new ways of being, so that each one of us can live as fully as possible and become all they are meant to be.

Announcing: The Anger Diet (30 Days to Stress-Free Living) by Dr. Shoshanna

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I am pleased to let you know about my new book just published, The Anger Diet (Thirty Days to Stress- Free Living), Andrews McMeel. Especially at this time of loss,it is so important to know how to handle anger constructively and melt away toxic feelings. There is no end to the available diets and workouts. But the most important diet of all has been overlooked.

This is a diet that releases stress, lets you sleep soundly at night, reduces cravings and upset and makes you feel young again. This diet gets rid of the number one toxin that destroys your well-being - anger.

Each day you will give up a different form of anger and replace it with a life-changing, constructive antidote. You will learn about the 24 forms of anger, where they come from, how they manifest, the lies they tell you and how they take over your life. You will also learn "The Emergency Technique", to use when things heat up.

"Dr. Deepak Chopra once told me that he thought the single most common and direct cause of illness was anger. If this is true, Dr. Shoshanna has got to be one of the world class healers of all time. In her book The Anger Diet not only does she present the most complete and compelling description of the many forms of anger, but she also tells you how to treat each of them. If you suffer from any form of anger, and who among us does not, then you must read The Anger Diet. It's a life changing experience." Dr. R. Winn Henderson, M.D., International Radio Talk Show Host. http://www.theultimtaesecrettohappiness.com

Some Important Topics The Diet Covers

The 24 Forms of Anger

The Addiction to Anger

The Emergency Technique

What To Do When You're The Subject of Anger

The Lies Anger Tells Us

And many more,

Read on...For more information and to get the book go to http://www.theangerdiet.com

Happy Thanksgiving

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We wish to take a moment to wish all the readers a happy Thanksgiving.

There is so much going on in the world as we approach this time of rejoicing. It is fitting this year to pause in our preparations and think of how we can extend our good will to others, particularly those who may be in need.

Often just a small effort, a call, invitation, gift or time shared can make an enormous difference in someone life.

Take the time this year to reach out and broaden your celebration by extending yourself to someone in need.

"Caring for others,

makes the whole world come alive."

How To Develop A Grateful Mind

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There is one sure fire medicine that cures all difficulty and opens the way for your greatest good. It allows you to sleep well at night, wake up refreshed and filled with enthusiasm. Obstacles evaporate and wonderful possibilities appear. This medicine is abundantly available, has no side effects, can be taken in large or small doses regularly. You need no one to prescribe it and the more you take, the sweeter it is. The medicine is a good dose of gratitude, taken daily, at least three times a day.

For example, if you are having difficulty in your relationships, a strong dose of gratitude will help a lot. Depression and thankfulness cannot exist in the same mind at the same time. When you are continually aware of the good you are receiving, complaints, resentments and demands become a thing of the past.

Guests At A Banquet

Some would say that this world is like a banquet in which we are guests. However, instead of thoroughly enjoying the feast, we only focus upon what is wrong – we become upset that the meal will not last forever, criticize the cook, demand one dish and refuse all others, or enjoy only desert.

Many spend their time rejecting other guests, or pushing them around. Some refuse to eat the meal entirely and go to the corner to pout. Most have no idea who their host is, or why they’ve even been invited. They rarely think of offering thanks.

In order to live with joy and well-being, however, it is crucial to develop a grateful mind. Here are some simple steps to take. Each step is the best medicine.

Step 1: View Your Life As A Banquet – Enjoy The Feast

Realize that we have all been invited to this banquet to develop a grateful mind. We must learn to partake of all we are offered, discover why we’ve been invited, and most importantly, offer thanks.

Step 2: Realize Each Person At The Banquet Is Precious

Each person at this banquet is precious and has been invited for a reason. There is something unique that each guest has to bring, including you. Find out what it is. Enjoy each person fully. If you do not know what to be grateful for, the question to ask is - what am I focusing on right now? Where is my attention?

Are you focusing upon all the problems and complaints, or are you aware of the endless gifts you receive? By taking your attention off the negative aspects of the relationship, you take energy and power away from these complaints and become open to see the good that available. As you take charge of your focus you take charge of your life.

Step 3: Take Time To Notice And Appreciate What You Are Receiving

Take time to notice and fully appreciate what is before you. Stop taking life for granted. As we develop a mind that is aware of the gifts it is receiving, the ability to give back grows naturally.

Step 4: Direct Communication

So many relationships flounder due to the feeling that individuals are not getting what they want. In many cases their partners have no idea what this is, or how to make them happy.

A wonderful way to deal with this is to ask directly for what you want. Ask without criticism or a hidden demand. It is also crucial to be able to say no. Saying no is not rejection. At times, saying no to others, is a way of saying yes to yourself.

Step 5: Understand True Giving

When you give to receive something in return, this is not true giving. Some give to hold onto others, or to feel good about themselves. True giving asks nothing in return. It gives openly, no strings attached.

True giving and receiving are one. When we give fully without wanting anything in return, we receive as much as we give. Burden, resentment and clinging falls away. There is no giver or receiver here, only an open heart. In order to taste this kind of freedom, we need only let go of our demands, criticism and expectations, and simply become one with what is happening right now. Ultimately we will see that we must just open our hands if we want to be held.

C/author/2005

Exercise of The Month -What Did And Didn't Work This Year

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Your life will flourish when it is filled with gratitude and giving. As we take time to be aware of and give thanks for the many blessings we receive our days are filled and joyful. Each month we offer another exercise to do, which is a way of giving thanks, and keeping a grateful mind alive.

Look closely at what did and did not work for you this past year and decide on a truly new direction in one area of your life.

The end of the year is a natural time for reviewing our activities, projects and efforts.

Look closely at what did and didn't work for you. What were the fruits of your deeds? Were you resources used to their fullest extent? Were you all that you could be? Find an area that was not to your liking and decide on a truly new direction in the coming year. Sketch the new direction out on paper. What steps will this new direction require? An example might be dealing with food, weight or exercise. We might study more about nutrition, join a gym or even choose to take a dance class.

We may choose to become more thoughtful with others, or take more time with our family.

As we give thought to the direction our lives are taking, we realize we are always the captain of our ships. If we are in murky waters, we can change the course at any time.

Services Available - And, Something New - Renewing Your Love For One Another

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Dr. Shoshanna plans to offer a workshop for couples entitled, Renewing Your Love For One Another. During the workshop, there will be an opportunity to heal differences, refresh communication and become re-aligned with mutual dreams. At the end of the workshop, (2 days) there will be a re-dedication ceremony - similar to a renewal of vows. (Couples will create their own renewed vows, goals as a couple and dreams). (Guests will be invited to this ceremony, which will be followed by a celebration).

Please let us know if you are interested in more information about this. Contact us at topspeaker@yahoo.com

More details are on the way.

Dr. Shoshanna, psychologist and relationship expert, is available for counselling and therapy both in person and on the phone. She is also available for talks and workshops based upon her books. For more information contact her at topspeaker@yahoo.com, or http://www.brendashoshanna.com

Learn more about Dr. Shoshanna at her website: http://www.brendashoshanna.com

Questionnaire: How Zen Are You In Love?

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Instead of our usual Q and A this month, we are providing a Questionnaire. How Zen Are You In Love? This will help you take a look at the way you function in relationships. It's a great preparation for the holiday season ahead.

How Zen Are You In Love?

There are different styles people have when they fall in love.. Discover your love quotient, based upon how Zen you are in love. The higher the quotient, the more likely you are to fall in love, enjoy the experience, recover quickly if it ends, and be available for whatever is next. The lower the quotient, the less frequently you fall in love and the more complications may appear.

Once you discover your Zen love quotient, by doing the exercises in Zen And The Art Of Falling In Love, you can easily raise it day by day.

(Score each question from 1-5. 5 is the highest, 1 the lowest. )

l.I usually see that which is wonderful about the person I am with.

2.I am open to and comfortable with many different kinds of people.

3.When I start a relationship, I do not have strong ideas about where it will go.

4.I find it easy to be pleased by the person I’m with.

5.When something starts going wrong in a relationship, I rarely start to blame. 6.When something starts going right in a relationship, I do not run away.

7.I do not escape into fantasy. The more the person seems to be the one of my dreams, the more mindful I become.

8.I require little to make me happy.

9.When a partner starts to leave, I am thankful for the time we’ve shared.

10.When a partner starts to leave, I do not do all I can to hold him there.

11.It is easy for me to give freely, and to receive. 12.I am not always checking on what I’m receiving, especially before I give in return.

13.It is easy for me to believe others. I am willing to give them a chance.

14.It does not take a long time for me to develop trust.

15.If I find my partner has been untruthful, I am not out of the relationship, fast, I am willing and able to stay and explore why.

16.I can allow each person to be who they are, and allow myself as well.

17.I do not believe each relationship must last forever, or else I’ve failed.

18.I know each relationship is a gift that is only given for a certain length time.

19.I do not require constant feedback about how wonderful I am. 20.I know the Source of all love, and that it never ends.