Do We Want More For Our Children?

So close to an election, ads for candidates ask us this every day. Of course, it's supposed to be a rhetorical question.  Every parent wants more for his or her children. Or do they?  

Most of us live better than our parents in a number of ways.  Whether it's the size of our house, the amount we travel, the car we drive, the clothes we wear, or the number of cutting edge gadgets we play with, our parents' standard of living was just our base line. We have tried to at least replicate their level of comfort, and in the areas we deem important, exceed their means.

There is often one exception to this rule- religious observance.  Most of us want our children to be just as observant as we are- not more, and not less. Why is that? Is it because spiritual commitment is unimportant to us?

I'd argue that it's the exact opposite. Fidelity to our heritage is central to our view of how successful we are. We spend an inordinate amount of money on homes close to synagogues, kosher food, and day school education to support our sacred goals. Why then don't many of us pray that our children exceed us in their piety?

We are not threatened by the fact that our child knows how to usean iphone, ipod or or ipad better than we do. When we need help with the latest gadget, we ask them. We take pride in the fact that they are learning so much on such a higher level than we did and are so much more savvy and sophisticated.

Religious commitment is so central to our self image, that we are often threatened by people who are more observant than we are. When we see others holding themselves to a higher standard, we think that there must be something wrong with us. If it's not something we're willing to take on, we conclude that there must be something wrong with them!     

Torah standards seem to be changing as rapidly as technology. Bugs in the vegetables, hemlines and sleeve lengths, and minyanim and shiurim. Changing religious standards are as difficult to follow the latest app or dotcom.

My father's Oldsmobile isn't good enough to sit in my child's driveway. Should it be good enough for my child's level of observance?

Shabbat Shalom,