Thank you for your support and always be inspired!

Sincerely,

Sharon R. Wells

Editor/Founder/Advocate

This month is Sexual Assault and Child Abuse Awareness month, and featured are powerful articles and videos from courageous survivors.  You may not want to read this newsletter, because no one wants to talk about this issue, but I assure you that sexual abuse affects you too. I urge you to read just a little further because this epidemic affects our entire society.  Open your mind to what victims and survivors suffer and how this epidemic destroys the lives of innocent children and people.  Maybe you are not a survivor, but I guarantee that you know someone who has been a victim of this type of abuse.  What people fail to realize is that the aftermath of abuse affects everyone.  Sexual abuse is the silent killer that destroys self-worth, self-esteem and the victim's spirit.  Some victims are in so much pain that they want to forget about what was done to them.  Many turn to drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, suicide, and the list goes on, it can lead victims down the wrong path. Bad things happen to good people, and good people do bad things, because of the bad things that have happened to them. Did you know that 85% of the women that are in prison today have been victims of abuse? Did you also know that there is an estimate of 60 million people who live in the United States alone who have been victims of sexual abuse? These numbers are alarming, and every two minutes, someone becomes a victim. The only way to prevent future cases of abuse is by educating our community and getting people to talk about it. The children are our future and we have to protect them from becoming victims. To learn more about sexual abuse, please visit the Angel Wings Bridge Foundation website: www.angelwingsbridge.org. Speak Up! Speak Out! To Stop Sexual Abuse!

ABUSE - WHAT NO ONE TELLS YOU...
 Author, J.L. Whitehead

Within the past few years, our society has slowly awakened from a state of denial. For years, perhaps decades, we have denied the very existence of child abuse. It was a subject that was so horrific, no one dared talked about it. We didn't bring it up in church, school or the workplace. There never seemed to be an appropriate time or place to talk about a crime that hides in plain sight.

For years, everyone thought that the crime was spousal abuse which to this day is still ingrained in our culture that it is done, yet no one speaks of it...until it claims a victim. And then and only then do we give that topic a few moments of our time. We remark on how tragic it was that a woman had to lose her life to stop the torture that was going on behind the very walls that should have served as her sanctuary.

Child abuse is no different and it deserves our attention. As adults, we have the responsibility of protecting our young. Animals seem to know how to do this without a problem and yet they lack the intellect that we as humans have; so just exactly what is the problem? And how do we fix it?

I can't speak for everyone. I can only speak about me. As difficult as it is to share this with you, I will because it needs to be discussed. We, as a people, need to create the necessary dialogue to keep our children safe. When my individual issues of abuse occurred, I was too young to understand what was happening to me, but it was pleasurable. That much I do remember. It was not physically traumatized...but from the moment that I was touched, a door was opened that couldn't be closed. No one tells you this until you get to the point of needing therapy.

The other piece that you don't know is that the person that you would have grown up to be has been forever changed. That child is lost and what's left in place is a being that has become sexually aware. Everyone is different, but sometimes, the child begins to act out with other children. Somehow, the child knows that they should keep this a "secret" so they do it in silence. They keep the molester's secret and they keep their own. No one tells you this. You find this out on your own.

The big shocker is that you grow up to be a person who by all intents and purposes appears fine...undamaged. You appear whole. But you struggle with things that you just attribute to you being you. You may struggle with relationships with people of the same or opposite sex. Sex may play a bigger role in your life than it should. Your relationships may begin and end with sex and all of the while, you're left to wonder just exactly what you're doing wrong and why can't you get it together. What you don't know and what they don't tell you is that who you would have been before you were every approached by an adult for sex, was lost with that first touch...first kiss...first caress. You have no way of knowing who you would have been because that person is gone, and all you're left with is the person that you're growing up to be. And who you are becoming with all of your idiosyncrasies is the person with the issues. THAT is your new norm; a norm that would never have been had you never been touched. 

It has taken me several decades to reach this level of understanding. It's taken many sessions with a therapist as well as heartfelt discussions with people that I trust and hold dearly. I didn't know what I just told you back then; but I know it now. And because I know this now, I can work on not trying to reclaim what was lost, but building on what I already have. Now that I know who I am, I can work on making me the best me possible. It won't be easy, but nothing that's worth it is...at least not always.

Anyway, I'm stepping off my soapbox now...until tomorrow!

Stay blessed!

You are not alone!

I am a survivor who could have split into two because the pain was so great, and dissolved into nothing because the hurt ran so deep. Then I could have disappeared without a fight or a breath to ever wake up again, but I didn't. I'm taking things one day at a time while I trust God, attend group and therapy.  Sexual abuse can leave you feeling very ashamed. Shame is a powerful thing, it humbles you, cripples your spirit, makes you scared to look at yourself in the mirror, makes you scared to have others look you in your eyes, it makes you do things you never thought you would. Thats what I have felt for so long.  Growing up as a child I never understood how something that felt so bad to me felt so good to him....
Statics say 1 in 3 women are sexually abused before age 18. I'm the 1 in 3 but I'm surviving to share!
 

Patricia A. Mckinght

It's a beautiful, quiet day today.  There's a slight chill to the air as I look outside my window at the rows of beautifully kept homes lined with lush trees with light colored grass that will turn to a deep green as we glide from winter to spring.  And as I look at these homes, the first thing that crossed my mind is not how wonderful the neighborhood appears, but what is really going on behind the closed doors of some of these beautiful homes.

I thought about that as I began to write this article because I know that domestic abuse is the crime that hides in plain sight.  I know from talking to abuse victims, that there are telltale signs but many people choose to ignore them.  No one wants to reach out to help the victim.  Some simply choose not to get involved.

I met Patricia McKnight through one of the previous articles that I had written.  She is an advocate for the rights of battered spouses and abused children.  But what makes Ms. McKnight so intriguing is not who she is, but where she came from.  An introduction is not needed.  Instead, judge for yourself as you read Patricia's Story. 

The Examiner:  Do you remember when your particular circumstance of abuse started for you?

PM: This moment I will never forget. Returning home from a weekend with my most beloved grandmother and my father's family; having celebrated my fifth birthday with them. As she said goodbye to my brother and I there was a very tight hug and I could feel her very special love for me, but that would be the last time I saw her until my grandfather's passing at age 19. As I ran to my mother's door, returning home with my presents in hand and a very happy girl, I stopped dead in my tracks as I saw the evil spiraling out of a man's eyes who was sitting on our couch. A few months later he was left to care for my brother, the neighbor boys and myself while my mother attended her bridal shower. It was that night the snake of the devil made his first violent attack of molestation and perverted acts towards me, with the boys in the same room. The next twelve years of my life would be under his complete sadistic control, violent rape, years of night time visits; simply all of the ugliness and cruelty of abuse that you could possibly imagine plus much, much more. My mother had walked in on us when I was nine and found me in her bed, naked as he was using his "toy doll", but instead of rescuing me she got angry and sent me to my room for the night. I was not allowed to join in for dinner, but made to come out and clean up the mess. For years I was the family care taker, babysitter, cook, and housekeeper; but in simple terms...a SLAVE!! As I grew it was never safe to bathe in my home and I decided to quit bathing as a mode of protection. This resulted in a skin infection of some type that ate away at my arms and legs, leaving me now to be disgusted by my own reflection. There was never any medical care or dental care, not even the provision of a tooth brush. An entire community watched and was even disgusted by how I looked.  Many teachers and school mates were afraid they would catch something if they made contact with me.  The community and the police knew of drunken teenage parties, the violence of my stepfather's rage when he drank and many times there were brutal physical attacks public to everyone, but still no one said a word or ever questioned my safety or care. 

If you or a loved has ever been sexually abused, Angel Wings Bridge Foundation wants to help you heal. We are a 501(c)3 non-profit organization dedicated to helping victims begin their healing journey.  We provide resources and support. You may call us at, 877.713.8298 and/or visit our website:  All conversations are confidential.

  
"Serving as a bridge that links abuse victims to resources that will promote healing through support, education, and spirituality".