Honoring IrReGuLaRiTy
I am declaring this the official month of celebrating irregular relationships, mainly because 1) today my husband and I mark the 36th anniversary of our first 
date, and 2) we've been pretty much irregular since the beginning.
Long ago, when I was at Purdue University, I lived in an all-female dorm that had a dance every year, and I had determined that I'd do whatever it took to go...which included gathering my courage, and asking some unsuspecting male. In my junior year, I had a big crush on my friend, Ben, and decided that I needed to go to this big event with him. So, I began working up the nerve to ask him. I actually worked on this nerve for a solid month, because attempting a leap from "FWOP" (Friend WithOut Possiblities) to "FWIP" (Friend With Possibilities--if you know what I mean) is potentially ego-damaging.
One evening, we were in a meeting together, when I decided to just paint myself into a corner. "When the meeting's over," I told him, "don't go away. I want to talk to you."
Do I need to tell you that I had no idea what happened in that meeting, since I spent most of the hour rehearsing my invitation and sweating bullets? But it finally ended, and we went back to his room in the grad house and opened the door.
By this time, he could tell I was nervous and, being a rather cocky boy, he was actually enjoying it. Leaving me to sit on the edge of the bed, he took the only chair in the room, put his feet up on the desk, folded his arms across his chest, and said, "Now...what was it you wanted to ask me?"
This irritating attitude actually made me a little mad, but I told myself, "Play it off, girl, just play it off."
So I said, "Ben Baughan, I'm about to give you the opportunity of a lifetime."
"And this is?"
"To take me to a dance."
He laughed. I laughed.
And eight weeks later, he asked me to marry him.
Of course, I said no.
Then much later I said yes.
Then I said no again.
Then I said yes again.
Obviously, we were off to a very irregular start.
And we're really no less flawed now than we were all those years ago. I talk too much. I ask way too many questions. I can be lazy and easily distracted, and can waste copious amounts of time. He's still on the cocky side. He leaves his shoes on the bedroom floor, about ten feet from the closet where they belong. (One time I counted seven pairs.). He has a bizarre sense of humor. (One night after we started dating, we were riding in the car with a bunch of other people. He took my hand and started tracing a secret message in my palm. It took just a few seconds for me to figure out that he was spelling out "I love you," and I thought I would faint from the romance of it all. Then, very tenderly, he lifted my index finger to his face...and started picking his nose with my finger!) We can both be just plain weird.
But we like each other anyway.
So, to celebrate the anniversary of our first date, I'm inviting you to honor an irregular relationship of your own. It doesn't have to be a romantic one; it could be with a parent, a teacher or a co-worker, a family member, a FWIP, a FWOP, or a garden-variety friend with whom you share a soul...or maybe just a cup of coffee.
Someone who pushes your buttons or rings your bell or makes you crazy.
Someone you like anyway.
How you do this is up to you; maybe you want to get together and go somewhere fun, or maybe you want to do something nice for them on the sly.
Just be sure you stir up some good feelings
somehow...because this life is too short, and your quirk-filled relationship is too big a gift from God to go un-celebrated!
