Suzanne Babin
     

     As I reflect upon my clinical journey of graduate school, I clearly envision the opening process, within my Self, which has undoubtedly occurred.  Each term marked new clinical experiences that triggered a range of emotions, including feelings of uneasiness, inadequacy, frustration, exhaustion, and elation. I was aware that all of these sensations were due to my uncertainty around how to support some of my client(s) given their situations; as well as, how to manage my Self while sitting with this uncertainty.  

      Despite the challenging circumstances that consistently presented themselves during my clinical experiences, my Self seemed to ultimately enjoy sitting with every single client, whether they were in despair or harmony.  This enjoyment comforted me and motivated me, no matter what the client's realities were.  Despite what was being suggested to do by others, I began to notice that by listening closely within me, I could hear my inner voice whispering:  "Keep going, Suzanne, keep going with what you deeply know and feel".  Due to being raised in a Western culture that reinforces people second guessing themselves, I wasn't familiar to constantly digging within my Self, to this level, to find my voice and then to speak it. However, I realized that by doing so, sporadically, in my past, I had come to the places that I truly desired to be.  As different as it felt, I indeed, consistently took a leap of faith and listened to these instinctual feelings within me; and I now recognize that it was my Self speaking to me; and ultimately, it was my Self that enabled me to accomplish the goal of completing my Master's in Marriage and Family Therapy. 

      In addition to my clinical experiences, for the past six years I have been an avid practitioner of Bikram yoga.  Every class is "the same".  In essence, individuals choose to put themselves in a "pressure cooker" while performing yoga postures that are typically unfamiliar to the body and the mind.  By doing so, they are voluntarily removed from their comfort zones, and expected to manage their strong emotions elicited from the experience. Similar to my clinical experiences, I have felt a range of emotions while engaging in my Bikram yoga practice; once again, primarily feelings of uneasiness, inadequacy, frustration, exhaustion, and elation. 
      Similar to my clinical experiences, despite the challenging emotions that I have experienced through the engagement in my yoga practice, my inner Self, has always felt deeply comfortable while working through it.  This comfortable place within me has been the encouragement towards furthering my practice.  As a result, my own practice has shown me that the best way to manage my Self, while faced with these uncomfortable emotions, is by listening to my "gut instinct"/God/Self.  By doing so, I have been able to utilize my Self in finding the necessary tools to calm and work through the series, in the face of constant intensity.   As Bikram Choudhury (founder of the Bikram Method) puts it, yoga is "you".  It strips you down of everything materialistic, in turn, enabling a person to see their strengths, their potential.......their truth.  
      I have come to recognize that my clinical graduate experiences and my yoga practice have worked hand in hand.  Time and time again, I have thought about how the discovery of the unique parts of my Self, in both settings, has helped me to further develop my practices in both areas.  The yoga postures, within Bikram yoga, are sequenced in a way that naturally opens the body and mind.  Similarly, the seven clinical graduate terms are designed in a way that have slowly opened my mind to a point of seeing and understanding how to be the therapist that I desire to be.  After dedicating significant time, simultaneously, to both yoga and Practicum, and reaping the benefits of listening to my Self, I believe, more strongly than ever before, that the Self of an individual is rooted in goodness and is manifested by the glory of God.  Additionally, it is through listening to the Self, that a person can potentially find their purpose(s).  This belief strongly motivates me to continue to help my clients and students of yoga self actualize and find their potential goodness and purpose(s).  As a result, they can hopefully reach a harmonious place in their lives too!  
      When starting Bikram yoga, typically, the body and mind are disconnected; as an individual develops their practice, the two begin to connect.  The body needs the mind to help it calmly move deeper and deeper into the poses.  If the mind is uncomfortable, it tends to convince the body into a state of discomfort too.  The challenge is then to keep the mind calm.  Ironically, the mind needs the body just as much in order to stay calm.  The body's movement of breath, in and out of the body, provides the mind something to stay focused on; a neutral entity. By doing so, the mind stays calm and the two work together in harmony.  
           In closing, I want to express my deepest gratitude towards my graduate work, as well as, my yoga practice.  I feel blessed that the two have come together in the ways that they have.  Because of their collaboration, I have discovered my Self, and will take this knowledge with me, forever, with the intention of serving the world and the God within all of humanity.  

 

Suzanne teaches and practices at both Capitol Hill and Shoreline and we congratulate her on completing her Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy. Every month, we like to share the story of a student or a teacher. If you have a story, please email Laura at sweatboxyoga@yahoo.com