Greetings!

 

"Welcome to the coffee shop, can I help you?"

 

"Hey, I recognize you. Didn't you graduate from Bryan College a few years ago?"

 

"I did! Well hello, Dr. Myers. How're you doing?"

 

"Great. How are things with you?"

 

"Well, you know. Just kind of hanging out and working."

 

"Weren't you planning to go to Washington DC after graduation?"

 

"Yeah, but it didn't really work out."

 

"What didn't really work out about it?"

 

"It just wasn't my gifting. After being there for a few months, I realized that it wasn't my passion, so I came home for a while to figure out what to do."

 

----------------------

I'm having conversations like this at least once a month these days. It's as if there is an epidemic of smart, "put together" college graduates failing to aggressively pursue opportunities that could lead toward success.

I'm conflicted. For years I've told students to find what Max Lucado refers to as "the sweet spot." "Focus on making a life, not just a living," I say in my class. I design readings and projects to help them discover their motivated abilities--the things they are wired by God to do.

 

But what if they aren't motivated to do anything at all?

 

Perhaps my perception is off base. Maybe some young people who don't appear to be trying are actually intentionally choosing--with integrity--to avoid the seductions of "success." For example, I know of a couple of young people working at coffee shops who are living at home and saving money to go to the mission field. I applaud that.

 

But I'm finding an increasing number of young adults plagued by failure avoidance. They prefer to not try than to risk the possibility of failure. Some of these students are quite adept at appropriating the language of "gifting" and "passion" to hide their deep fear of not measuring up.

 

Either way, the question arises: how should those of us who care about young adults react when they consistently operate below their potential?

 

Why people don't live up to their potential

 

Over the past few months, our team at PTBI has been involved in intensive research on motivation. We've realized that the difference between motivated and unmotivated people is primarily this: motivated people know how to adapt to changing situations and unmotivated people don't.

 

I believe that a lack of drive is not the main reason a person fails to live up to his potential. Rather, it is a combination of two things: 1) an inability to discern what his path to success looks like, and 2) a belief that he does not have what it takes to succeed.

So, my former-student-turned-barista hasn't missed his calling. It's just that he's confused about what a "gifting" is and needs help developing and executing a plan that is worth working hard for.

 

To explain, let's look at a parable of two runners.

 

We know the tortoise beats the hare, but how does he do it?

 

Imagine two people who decide to shake off winter sluggishness and get in shape to run a marathon this fall. We'll call them "Runner One" and "Runner Two." Here are their stories:

• Runner One wakes up excited on the first day and runs one mile. Later she realizes that she hasn't felt this good since high school track. The next morning she still feels great, so she runs three miles. By the end of the first week she's actually run 12 miles. Her knee doesn't feel quite right, but she remembers her high school coach intoning, "No pain, no gain." By the end of the second week she's surprised at how many miles she can run, but her sore knee is still bugging her so she decides to take a couple of days off and wait a week before signing up for the race.

• Runner Two also runs one mile on the first day. She is proud to have gotten started, but nervous because she's never run a race before. The next day she runs another mile and invests two hours on the internet to research training plans, nutrition advice, and stretching exercises. She carefully follows the training plan she has downloaded, even though initially she spends more time stretching and developing a dietary plan than she spends actually running. She also asks a lot of questions of two experienced runners she has befriended on a discussion board. At the end of the second week she decides to go "all in" and plunks down $100 to register for the race.
  

Which of the two runners is most likely to complete the marathon? According to motivation theory, the answer is Runner Two because of her focus on planning and task management, and her enlistment of mentors who offer feedback and keep her on track.

 

This isn't just evidenced in the old "tortoise and the hare" story either. In his book, Talent is Overrated, Geoff Colvin argues that hard work, not gifting or passion, is the factor that best explains success. Successful people work hard by engaging in practice that consists of five characteristics:

 

1. It is designed specifically to improve performance. Successful people clearly define what "better" is and stay focused on it.

2. It can be repeated a lot. Successful people develop a plan and manage their tasks carefully to make time for lots of repetition.

3. It involves continuously available feedback. Successful people know that experience is not the best teacher--evaluated experience is. They find wise counselors who will give them honest, performance-enhancing advice.

4. It is highly demanding mentally. Successful people focus on one or two tasks at a time, and work in "spurts"--60-90 minute increments of sustained attention.

5. It isn't much fun. Successful people know that passion arises from effective practice, and that practice isn't easy and fun. If it was, Colvin points out, then everyone would do it and success would lose its distinctiveness.

 

How do we resolve the seemingly conflicting ideas of hard work and finding your sweet spot?

 

When I first read Colvin's book, I resisted the idea that hard work (not giftedness or passion) is the main factor that leads to success. I would rather believe that if people simply found their sweet spot, they'd succeed.

 

But finding your sweet spot just means choosing to operate in an area where you really want to succeed. It ensures greater motivation, not greater ease. It doesn't mean that you'll always enjoy the work, or that you'll find your tasks to be so easy that they don't really seem like work at all. Composing was Mozart's sweet spot, but he labored furiously to be successful. Baseball was Ted Williams' sweet spot, but he practiced hitting until his hands bled. No one should expect success in their sweet spot without hard work.

Finding your sweet spot is ideal; working hard is essential.

 

So what should we do?

 

If success is eluding you, start identifying specific activities that are designed to increase your performance in a particular area. Repeat these activities with determination and mental alertness, and get a mentor/coach (or several) who can help you continuously improve and stick with it--even when it's not fun.

 

If success is eluding someone you love, show him or her this article and discuss it together. Here are some questions you could ask:

• "What would you do if you knew you could not fail?"

• "No matter what you do in life, it is going to take hard work and courage. What are some areas where you'd be willing to invest some real effort?"

• "How can I support you?"

Now the practice begins!