Four Ways to be Open-Minded
Without Being a Relativist
In last week's GRTL newsletter we discussed a study of the significant things adults can do to make their faith real to the emerging generation.
The study found that one of the top six significant things was "openness to different points of view." Last week, I followed that statement with this comment: "The emerging generation is asking: 'Are you defensive or resentful? Or have you carefully listened to others before forming your views?'"
I suspected that this would open a can of worms, and I was right. Our subscribers feel very strongly about this point and are an unusually articulate bunch, so the comments I've received were fascinating.
The crux of the issue was well stated by one subscriber named Mary:
My only concern with the response on the "differing views" is that the culture doesn't understand Truth and absolutes...the emerging generation needs to understand that God's Word is not just another viewpoint. Rather than treating it as my opinion vs. your opinion, we should ask, "What does God's Word say?"
Christians believe strongly that even though we are fallen creatures we still can know the truth. Further, we believe we must engage people who believe differently.
But engagement without openness equals insincerity. If we really aren't sincere, we ought to disclose that fact to non-believers: "I know the truth and you don't, so I'm just going to be polite and let you talk. In return for this politeness I expect you to pay better attention when I reveal the truth to you."
Clearly, this will not do. Instead, we need to define what we mean by openness and figure out how it can create the space we need to share truth with the emerging generation. Here are four starting points:
1. Embrace humble transparency. I love this term, "humble transparency," which was coined by one of our subscribers, Candace. I've heard the term "epistemological humility" as well, and while its uses vary, it roughly means that our understanding of truth is valid but incomplete. This leaves room to be honest about our own struggles without being dangerously wishy-washy in our faith.
Here are some suggested ways to articulate humble transparency:
- "Here's what I've learned that might be helpful..."
- "I am a fallen creature so I could be wrong, but here is what I understand to be true..."
2. Trust God's sovereignty. For most of my life I've
been learning and growing in my faith, and much of this
growth has involved honest wrestling with significant issues. Interestingly,
most Christian adults I know say the same thing about
their journeys of growth.
Here's the kicker: when we fail to give the
emerging generation space to wrestle in a similar fashion, we're basically saying
to them: "We've already done your thinking for you--here's the correct
pre-packaged conclusion." Many on the receiving end of such a statement would see it as
insulting, as you can well imagine.
The established generation must ask itself, "Do we trust God enough to surrender the outcome to Him, walk faithfully with others, and avoid trying to manipulate the situation?"
Here are some suggested ways to show faith in God's
sovereignty:
- "This
is a big issue and I'm glad you're not taking it lightly. I'll pray and ask God to give you insight..."
- "I'm
so glad you're interested in asking the tough questions,
and I hope we have the chance to talk more about this..."
- "I've
wrestled a lot with that issue myself. Here are some resources that I
found helpful..."
3. Avoid "indoctrination." It's a
good thing to want the emerging generation to embrace God's truth, but how we go
about reaching them really matters.
Ken, a GRTL subscriber,
wrote to me about his dissertation research with some top
students in Christian schools. He found that "If students believed that Christianity
was being forced upon them instead of giving them time and
intellectual space to reach their own conclusions, they became resistant to the
Biblical worldview message."
Here are some suggested ways to avoid
this brand of indoctrination:
- "If you're like me, I would guess you have genuine questions and doubts. I want to hear your honest questions."
- "May
I share with you how Christians throughout history have come to grips with
this issue?"
3. Listen in an engaged fashion. One
subscriber, Nancy, wrote: "Listening to another's beliefs before speaking makes the
listener credible and compassionate. However misguided the other's beliefs may
be, why should they listen to me if I cannot listen to them?...Is my faith so small that I have to cover
my ears?"
My friend (and PTB board member) J.R. Kerr says:
"The established generation asked, 'Can
you prove it to me?' The emerging generation asks, 'Can you hear me?'"
In
other words, the emerging generation usually sees the big questions as personal,
rather than abstract. So instead of asking, "How could a good
God allow evil?" they are asking, "How could a good God allow bad
things to happen to the people I know?"
Here are some suggested ways to listen in an engaged
fashion:
- "I'd be glad to hear
what is important to you."
- "Can we take some time to share viewpoints with one
another?"
- "Thank you for honoring me by trusting me with your
thoughts on these real-life matters."
- "What are your thoughts on ______?"
- "Tell me more about that." (Nothing says "I'm
listening!" as clearly as a question which honestly solicits further
communication.)
We Must Be Relational...
Let's never forget that God's truth is incarnational. John chapter 1's opening line, "In the
beginning was the Word", is much more than a philosophical statement--it's a statement of
relationship. We invest
in relationships because we are created as relational beings who serve a
relational God--a God who "became flesh, and dwelt among us" (John 1:14).
...AND Well Versed In the Truth
One final thought: if you're uncomfortable walking with the emerging generation because you
lack an understanding of the Christian worldview, you might be interested in the Summit Ministries Lecture Series--an audio set with 150 lectures
from its top thinkers and speakers. The price is just $95 (which works out to
an incredibly low price of 63 cents per eye-opening talk). Order here.
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