| November 5, 2008 |
Vol 9, Issue 33
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 Get Ready to Lead!
"It's simple. We're just changing the world."
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| The most needed virtue is also the one that is most absent | Greetings!... I hope our international readers will excuse a brief commentary on the recent American elections as a prelude to this week's newsletter topic.
It has been a long time since pro-family conservatives were dealt such a decisive blow in an American election. Feelings range from "disappointed" to to "disillusioned."
What should our attitude be? To answer that question, I'd like to share a story.
A friend of mine, Phil Graybeal, developed a Spiritual Formation Audit (SFA) to help Christian schools take their spiritual pulse. Phil asked me, "Do you know what virtue the students, their parents and even the school staff lacked the most?"
I guessed several things, all of them wrong.
The virtue Phil named, the one that was universally absent, is one of the top three character qualities that psychologists say is essential to success in life. Without this virtue people lose hope and stop striving for worthy goals. They become bitter, angry and defensive.
In this issue I'll reveal what this vital virtue is and what difference it makes. Welcome to GRTL!
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What's the right attitude in times like these?
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In his book The Psychology of Ultimate Concerns, Robert Emmons discusses three virtues essential to success in life (1):
The first is self-control. Emmons states, "Self-control failures lie at the heart of the seven deadly sins: gluttony, sloth, pride, anger, greed, lust and envy."
The second is humility: "The ability to keep one's talents and accomplishments in perspective."
The third virtue, the one that people lack the most, as studied by the Spiritual Formation Audit done with Christian school parents, students and teachers, is gratitude.
Emmons defines gratitude as "The capacity to feel the emotion of thankfulness on a regular and consistent basis, across situations and over time."
Ingratitude, on the other hand, operates from a sense of entitlement that says I have a right to have things go my way so that I can be happy.
The right to happiness seems to be the main spiritual message the next generation has picked up. Christian Smith's decade-long research into the religious lives of American teens demonstrates this to be so. In interviews with 250 teens, the phrase "feel happy" came up more than 2,000 times.(2)
Ironically, as Jonathan Haidt points out in The Happiness Hypothesis, "People who report the greatest interest in attaining money, fame, or beauty are consistently found to be less happy, and even less healthy, than those who pursue less materialistic goals."(3)
Is There Real Power in Gratefulness?
That's the question asked by Robert Emmons in a study conducted in 2003. The participants, undergraduate students enrolled in a health psychology class, were asked to log their emotions, physical symptoms and health behaviors over the course of ten weeks. Each week they were asked to "evaluate their life as a whole during the past week and their expectations for the upcoming week."
In addition, participants were randomly assigned to one of three groups. The first group was asked to record "up to five major events or circumstances that most affected them during the week." The second group was asked to "write down five hassles or minor stressors that occurred in their life in the past week." The final group was asked to "write down five things in their lives that they were grateful for."
The results?
The "gratitude group" felt better about their lives as a whole, were more optimistic regarding their expectations, reported fewer physical complaints and spent more time exercising.
Here's what's even more amazing. At the beginning of the study participants were asked to write down six goals or projects they intended to pursue over the next two months. At the end of the study they were asked to rate how successful they had been in pursuing their goals.
Those in the "gratitude group" reported greater progress toward their goals than participants in the other two groups. Gratitude not only increases optimism, it also increases productive action.
What Should We Do Now?
 As I read Emmons' study I became convicted of my own lack of gratitude. I have so much to be thankful for, yet find myself being irritated and dissatisfied. I don't like the direction things are moving politically, socially, culturally or economically. Left unchecked, though, my attitude dissolves into anger and even fear.
As I've been reminded to express gratitude, however, my attitude and sense of focus have been renewed. I'm still just as determined as ever to prepare a new generation of culture-shaping leaders who understand the times and are prepared to lead, but I'm doing it out of a sense of conviction, not of fear or resentment.
Here are some of my convictions about gratitude:
- Ingratitude immobilizes. Gratitude energizes.
- Ingratitude is stingy. Gratitude inspires generosity.
- Ingratitude steals joy. Gratitude restores hope.
- Ingratitude demands good for itself. Gratitude desires good to come to others.
If your goal is to increase your ability to act on what is important, and to do so in a life-giving fashion, develop an attitude of gratitude.
Four Things to Do This Week
- Share this e-mail with family and friends and express your commitment to be a person of gratitude so that you can lead by example.
- Make a list of people to whom you're grateful, and express that gratefulness this week.
- Make a list of goals you'd like to accomplish in the next few weeks, along with the things you're grateful for that allow you to pursue those goals.
- Write to me with some of the results of this project so I can share your joy with others and bring a spirit of encouragement in the midst of tough times. My e-mail is jeff@passingthebaton.org
I Appreciate You
In closing, I'd like to express my gratefulness to you. I'm grateful for the opportunity to write this newsletter weekly (almost) for eight years now. It's been a constant source of stimulation. It forces me to compress thoughts into a manageable format. It requires me to think through what readers might be going through in their lives.
But beyond the discipline of writing, I've been deeply blessed by notes of encouragement and prayer our subscribers have written. They remind me that we're on the winning side, and that even in times of great uncertainty we must press forward with both determination and gratefulness.
Thank you, press on, and make it a great week!
--Jeff
Jeff Myers, Ph.D. (e-mail me)
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- Robert Emmons, The Psychology of Ultimate Concerns: Motivation and Spirituality in Personality. New York: Guilford, 2003, pp. 167-173.
- Christian Smith, On "Moralistic Therapeutic Deism" as U.S. Teenagers' Actual, Tacit, De Facto Religious Faith," http://www.ptsem.edu/iym/lectures/2005/Smith-Moralistic.pdf
- Jonathan Haidt, The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom. New York: Basic, 2006, p. 95.
- Emmons, ibid.
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