Persuasion research has shown that of all of the techniques people use to persuade others to change their attitudes and behavior, these six techniques work best:

1. Reciprocation: do a favor for a person. This leads him to want to do a favor in return.
2. Liking: be likeable: people are more influenced by those they like than those they do not like.
3. Consistency: create an expectation of a certain kind of behavior. People tend to do what they feel others expect them to do.
4. Social proof: Show the person that his peers are doing what you want him to do.
5. Authority: showing credible authorities who recommend the change.
6. Scarcity: show what there is to lose by not changing.

• "May I share something with you in a spirit of love?"
• "What do you think would honor God in this situation?"
• "You have great potential and I'd really like to see you reach it."
• "We're on the same side--we both want to see you succeed at what is really important."
• "Where do you see yourself a year from now, and what do you think you need to do to get there?"
• "What are the things you're putting ahead of fully living your life purpose?"
• "May I tell you about a personal experience that might make the way clearer for you?

Jerome and Augustine were both church fathers, godly men who vehemently disagreed about whether it was godly to use persuasion. Jerome argued that since the Holy Spirit causes people to change, we should just proclaim the Word and let God take care of moving people to action.

Certainly, Jerome had a point. After all, it is God who causes us to "will and to do" what pleases Him (Philippians 2:12-13). But does God use people to persuade other people to do what He wants? Yes! The Apostle Paul said in II Corinthians 5:11, "Knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade others."

I tend to side with Augustine. But I can also see why Jerome was so concerned--the Christians of his day were far to excited about the Greek and Roman art of sophistry, using words to manipulate others.

Here are some questions that can help you discern between godly persuasion and humanistic manipulation:

• Why do you want the person to change? Is it for their benefit, or only for your own?
• Are you using coercion to get your way?
• Is guilt your primary motivator? ("I want you to change because I will stop liking you if you don't.")
• Are you using illogical arguments to make your case?
• Are you seeking your own glory rather than the glory of God?

Is there such a thing as a legitimate art of Christian persuasion? I'd be curious to know what you think. Please take a moment to e-mail me your thoughts.