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Rhonda Benz
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Greetings!
We trust the Lord is active and working in your
life today and hope Rhonda's latest blog installment is a blessing to you.
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Focus
Words from the Father
Rhonda Benz  |
Focus...that is what seems to
be the whisper of the Father in my ear lately.
This last week I was standing on our balcony. Little Sarah Rose was in my arms,
Stephan Judah, and Madeline played at my feet. Mary was jumping around like a
monkey and I remember thinking "WHERE does that child get the
energy?"
My shirt was sticking to me, my hair was plastered to my head, and I could feel
sweat running down the back of my calves. Again it was a day that climbed into
the triple digits and with each degree of the thermostat, I could feel myself
sinking lower and lower as my energy seemed to drain out of my very pores.
Mary and I were looking out over the landscape of our neighborhood and it
wasn't very pretty. It is approaching the end of our dry season here in
Cambodia. We really only have two seasons here...hot and dry or hot and wet.
Each season has its own advantages or disadvantages; each season has its own
struggles or benefits. Now, at the end of our dry season, everything is brown.
Everything is dying and shriveling up with the heat and the dirt cannot be
contained on the roads. A haze of dust is constantly in the air. It is
impossible to keep the house clean. Laundry...omg! What a struggle! You have to
hang it out to dry, but don't you dare leave it out too long or it will be
dirtier than it was to begin with.
Off the balcony, not only could we see very few colors other than dirt brown
but also, everything was seen through the shimmery haze of heat waves. We had
come out onto the balcony because the sun had slipped behind some clouds and we
were hoping that maybe, just maybe, some air was moving out there. Just as I
was turning to go back into the house where at least an oscillating fan was
moving the hot air around, a breeze caught my hair and I could feel a brush of
coolness move over me for just a second and then as quickly as it came, it was
gone.
I didn't want to take the chance of missing another breeze so I turned back to
sit down and was right away rewarded by another. Mary said "Oh!
Nice!" as she enjoyed it as well. It was then that I heard the Lord's
voice asking "What do you see?"
"Dirt, Lord! Everywhere there is dirt, heat, sweat and then more of the
same. "I looked off the balcony and saw the mango tree in the courtyard
and the palms around it. "I know those leaves are green. But even they
look brown because they are wearing a coat of dust on them." I looked at
the road and saw a moto taxi carrying someone about on their business and saw
the passenger holding her hand over her mouth to keep the dust of the road out
of her mouth. "I'm so so hot. Doing even the bare minimum takes everything
I've got. I came out here to maybe find a bit of relief but everything around
seems so heavy as well. This heat is like a blanket and I am afraid that I am
smothering. I can't breathe!"
Sarah Rose, even though she is still tiny, was weighing heavy on my arm so I
readjusted her position. I could feel the heat coming off of her as well like a
little hot water bottle. But right then, she opened her eyes, saw my face, and
grinned ear to ear! Again, the Lord's voice asked "What do you see?"
" Sweet cheeks! Such a pretty baby...and she is growing so fast. Look how
big she is now, Lord!"I replied.
His voice continued, "She was here a few minutes ago as well but you chose
to see something else. At all times, no matter what you are going through,
there is something you can focus on that can change your entire perspective and
attitude. Did I not say, 'Whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of
good report...think on these things?' If I was not going to be faithful to
provide those other "things" for you to focus on, I wouldn't have
instructed you to do so."
"Yes, I know that. I should know that, "I admitted. "It is just
harder at times. Sometimes it seems impossible even."
I knew what was coming next...so I just went ahead and said it
myself..."But with You, all things are possible."
"That doesn't mean that you don't play a part also, Rhonda. You must exercise
focus. It doesn't just happen. You must exercise it and develop it as a
spiritual muscle. It is easy to LOOK at something...like Peter looked at Me
when he stepped out of the boat. But it is a harder thing...a learned
thing...to FOCUS on Me and to continue on the water. My hand is always out
there but sometimes it is one step away, other times it is four steps away. You
just have faith and keep your focus and let Me worry about my hand."
Things changed then on that balcony. But all the change was within me. I wasn't
seeing the heat waves any longer, but instead I saw the little curls on the
back of SJ's head as his hair is growing back after his head injury. I see all
of Mary's energy and instead of being envious, I am so thankful because she and
all the others are so quick to run up or down the stairs, to fetch the diaper
changing supplies, or to run and fix me a glass of iced tea while I am feeding
a baby a bottle.
The most refreshing thing that happened on that balcony wasn't the cool breezes
or the short rain that followed. It was the gentle adjustment of my own focus.
In times of serious battle or struggle, it is almost easier to maintain our
focus. Because everything is so intense, we are in that "zone." But
it makes me pause and wonder how many small confrontations do we lose in the
mundane, every day tedium of our lives because we fail to hold our focus?
Right now...What do you see?
Breathing in, breathing out,
Rhonda
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Mark and Rhonda Benz
High Tower Ministries |
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