News from Peace Begins With Me

In the Fall 2007 my family and I stepped into an exotic adventure. We made the decision to climb Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania, Africa. Mount Kilimanjaro is the seventh highest peak on earth with an elevation of more than 19,000 ft.

In more ways than anticipated the climb was the journey of a lifetime. Success on the journey required stamina, persistence, intention, and acceptance. Through the first two days of the climb all I could do was keep my head down and my eyes focused on the heals in front of me due to the dizzying effects of altitude sickness. By day three I had acclimatized to the diminished oxygen to enjoy the views that unfolded before me.

After five days of climbing we reached the final camp at the base of the summit. The plan was to begin our ascent at midnight with the goal to peak by 8:00 am. The climb began in darkness. Our only illumination was a solitary headlamp and the stars that enveloped us. The temperature hovered around - 20 Celsius. Because of the steepness of the slope we needed to traverse sideways across the mountain face. With half the oxygen available at sea level our lungs and muscles strained with every step. To compound the challenge, the slope was covered in loose shale. Every step upward was partially negated by the downward slide of the shale. The pace was painfully slow and difficult.

Upward we carried ourselves paced by the mantra "slowly, slowly". About two hours short of the crater's rim I was unable to continue. The cold, altitude sickness, and physical exhaustion had taken their toll. The dream to summit Kilimanjaro was beyond my capacity. After five days of climbing it was necessary to turn around and descend.

It would be easy to interpret this experience as defeat, to see my inability to summit as failure. And yet, I felt a huge sense of relief. I had participated in a very powerful experience that invited me to be physically active and intensely present. I had shared precious moments with my wife and two of my children. I had joined with strangers in a powerful sense of community that comes from facing adversity together. And I discovered an important lesson for myself.

As I stood on the steep slope, fatigued to exhaustion, chilled beyond belief, overcome with nausea and dizziness, I came to an important conclusion - I had suffered enough. This realization has served me far beyond the slopes of Kilimanjaro. Through this experience of intense physical suffering I came to realize how suffering has been a constant companion in my life. How I have accepted suffering as a fact of life, even embraced suffering as noble. But now, I was done with suffering.

This experience assisted me in recognizing how much of my suffering is self created. I now recognize that I have made decisions, held onto beliefs, and maintained courses of action regardless of the suffering I experienced. I did this because of a belief that suffering was necessary. During that morning on the side of Mount Kilimanjaro something changed in my psyche. I released the need to suffer.

Now, when I experience suffering I pause and examine my suffering. Is my suffering associated with my resistance to reality? If so, I move into acceptance. Is my suffering the result of having judgment? Yes? Release judgment. Am I suffering as a result of telling myself negative stories about what might happen in my future? Change my story. Is my suffering a consequence of maintaining a course that no longer serves me? Choose again.

I recall my epiphany from Kilimanjaro and I choose not to suffer. I release the thoughts, actions, and beliefs that hold the suffering to me. I choose to end the suffering. I choose another path. This doesn't mean that I step away from any course of action that is challenging. What it means it that, whatever path I choose, I no longer need to walk in suffering. I can walk the path with ease and grace, with peace and joy, regardless of the challenge. And, I am open to the possibility that the suffering is an indication I may be walking a wrong path and need to choose again.

My commitment is to live peacefully and joyfully, regardless of the path I am on. This is possible when I know that suffering is optional.

Wishing you much peace and joy.

Ted