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"Cognitive theory 'is based on the underlying theoretical rationale that an individual's affect and behavior are largely determined by the way in which he structures the world. His cognitions . . . are based on attitudes or assumptions . . . developed from previous experiences'."
~ Beck | |
| About Judy Kay... | |
Positive~Practical~Proven! |
Her message empowers, energizes, and exhilarates others to maximize their performance and get results. She excels at creating a happy, healthy and high performing work environment by developing leadership, opening mindsets, elevating attitude, strengthening communication skills and revitalizing doctor/team/practice/patient relationships. - Her encouragement, creativity and dynamic spirit are contagious. - A natural communicator and trainer with 25+ years' experience in the industry. Internal
Messages
Always
Generate the
External!
Judy Kay Mausolf
612-701-4922
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Health Glow |
"A three letter word that can resolve 90% of your communication problems. ASK!"
~ Judy Kay Mausolf | | |
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October 2011
October
Elephants...Scary Stuff?
You've said it before..."This year will be different." But WILL it? Make 2011 YOUR year to change. Learn more, do more, become more! We are excited to offer this newsletter to help inspire and empower our readers to shine!
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Monthly Podcast & Video
Click on Scary Stuff
or the orange box to listen to this month's pod with additional thoughts!
(under 3 minutes) Click on VIDEO to see Judy Kay on YouTube! |
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First Impressions
Lions, and tigers, and bears! Oh my! Or should I say, lions and tigers and elephants? The elephant is the scary stuff out there when it comes to talking to others about how we really feel, or what we need, or what we expect. We often feel we can't talk about these things or we might hurt feelings or get criticized or lash back. So we don't.
This month's newsletter is about how to talk about the scary stuff!
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Personal Inspiration
When we don't talk about how we really feel, or what we need or expect we can sabotage our personal and professional relationships. It is the fear of rejection, judgment, criticism, anger, hurt feelings; all assumptions of how the other person may respond that often times stop us. We continue to go along in our day-to-day routine hoping things will either go away or work themselves out. Only to find out they have not only not gone away but in many cases escalated. The scary stuff is what I refer to as the elephants in the room. Sometimes herds of them exist, that we don't, can't or won't address. We hold it in for as long as we can until we get to a point where we can't hold it anymore. Eventually we burst and everything comes spewing out. When we reach that level we are often no longer coming from a place of care or concern, but instead a place of anger. When we act out in judgment, criticism, anger or negativity we can expect a like response. We will have just manifested our fears that stopped us in the first place; our assumptions of rejection, judgment, criticism, anger, and hurt feelings. These results once again reinforce to us we can't talk about the elephants without fall out happening. So we don't again, that is until...and the cycle goes on and on. So how do we talk about the scary stuff, the elephants in the room before they trample our relationships.
It is in our nature to have assumptions. Assumptions are what create the the elephants in the room. The way to overcome them is to ask questions and talk to the other person. If you think, "I wonder what they meant by that, or why did they do it that way, or how come or, I know what they meant by this..."; stop yourself immediately and just ask. It is important to ask in a non-judgmental and neutral tone. When we talk about what is, and work out a solution or agreement the elephant goes away.
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Professional Inspiration
One elephant is the assumption; what if we can't or don't come to an agreement? Take the pressure off everyone involved in the conversation by scheduling a time with the sole purpose to brainstorm ideas. The expectation of the meeting is to be open, think outside the box and share as many ideas as possible. If you actually come to a resolution great, but it is not the intent of the meeting or necessary for the meeting to be a success.
Knowing we are only going to brainstorm about the scary elephants and not have to agree removes the stress and pressure and allows us to be more open.
Another elephant is the assumption; if we talk about things we will open up a can of worms and create conflict. The conflict already exists we just haven't acknowledged it yet! If left it can grow from one elephant to a very large herd. We continue to analyse and rehash the whys and why nots to a point where are mind starts to spin and we begin to feel angry and desperate. Reality is always easier than assumptions to resolve. Assumptions continue to grow and change to be usually much worse than the original elephant.
Having a systematic approach to resolve assumptions/elephants will help you lose the scary stuff feeling.
- Talk to the person
- Set up time to meet
- Don't talk to anyone else about the assumption
- Don't personalize - avoid saying you did...
- Listen openly and calmly
- Brainstorm ideas
- Good for everyone, perfect for no one
- If you absolutley can't come to a resolution ask for help from a supervisor or advisor.
Talk about the scary stuff and eliminate the elephants in your life!
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Practicing Solutions
Learn how to live a life you choose, read Rise & Shine!
Some days you wake up ready to take on the world!
Other days, not so much. But you can make every day great. Rise & Shine! shows you how to
- Overcome the beliefs that hold you back
- Define the life you want to live
- Create an awesome attitude that positively impacts everything you do
- Relate successfully to others
- Be consistent with your value system so your integrity radiates
- Embrace gratitude and appreciate all life has to offer
- Live in the moment and enjoy it
Give yourself the gift of this book, read it, then apply what it says. And while you're at it, show your friends and loved ones how important they are to you by giving each of them a copy of this book too.
Today is the day to begin your new journey. Today is your day to Rise & Shine!
PRICE:
$15.00
To order your very own copy of Rise & Shine please visit my website at www.PracticeSolutionsinc.Net click on Resources, or you may email Judy Kay at JudyKay@PracticeSolutionsInc.net.
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2011 Speaking/Travel Schedule
ODA (Oklahoma Dental Association), April 30, 2011, Tulsa Oklahoma
SCN (Speaking and Consulting Network), May 21-22, 2011 Dallas, Texas
PNDC (Pacific Northwest Dental Conference), June 17, 2011, Seattle, Washington
AADOM (American Association of Dental Office Managers), September 8-10, 2011, Nashville, Tennessee
CDA (California Dental Association), September 23-24, 2011, San Francisco, California
Lakeview Health Services, November 3, 2011, Fairmont, Minnesota
GNYDM (Greater New York Dental Meeting), November 28, 2011, New York, New York
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Will 2011 be just another 12 months in your life, or will it be the year that turns your life around? Let us help you take the actions to maximize your performance, and get results. Don't just make it a GREAT year make it an AWESOME year! In fact, the best year of your life.
Contact Judy Kay today if you are ready to start the momentum to your best year ever! 612-701-4922 |
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