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"We are all responsible for ourselves, you create your own reality by the way you think and therefore act"
OPRAH
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| About Judy Kay... |
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- Known for the knowledge and energy she brings to her consulting and presentations.
- Her empowerment, creativity and dynamic spirit are contagious.
- A natural communicator and presenter with 20+ years' experience in the industry.
Judy Kay Mausolf
952-435-4355
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| Health Glow |
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"Two things are bad for the heart - running uphill and running down people" - Bernard Gimbel
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April, 2008
Aspiring April!
Convert conflict to
Collaboration!
You've said it before..."This year will be different." But WILL it? Make 2008 YOUR year to change. Learn more, do more, become more! We are excited to offer this newsletter to help inspire and empower our readers to show their inner shine!
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First Impressions
The team is not talking to each other anymore. Instead they are talking about each other. The office environment is filled with misunderstanding, tension, and gossip. Negative assumptions are made due to the lack of effective communication. It finally reaches a level where it is extremely stressful for everyone to come to work. What happended to the team that was so warm, wonderful and wise? Does this resonate with your office?
 It can happen to even the best office when certain behaviors are left unchecked. A team member has a misunderstanding or concern with another team member and tells it to a third team member. The reason the team member did not go directly to the person they had the problem with was because they did not want to hurt their coworker's feelings. Instead it builds and builds until one day they start talking about it to another coworker.
This happens many times without the team member really understanding the full implications caused by this action. They have created a triangle of mistrust. A triangle of mistrust occurs when one person, having an issue with a second person, takes that issue to a third person. A phrase many are familiar with is "talking behind their backs".
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Personal Inspiration
So how do we as individual team members sidestep the triangles of mistrust? We take personal responsibility for what goes on in our working environment. B.J. Gallagher and Steve Ventura wrote about the 10 most important phrases of personal responsibility.
10 - I won't wait for others to take the first step.
9 - If it is to be, it's up to me
8 - If not me, who? If not now,when?
7 - Let me take a shot at it
6 - I will not pass the buck
5 - You can count on me
4 - It is my job
3 - Just do it
2 - I will
1 - Me
"Nothing is so contagious as an example. We never do great good or great evil without bringing about more of the same on the part of others." Francois Rochefoucauld |
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Professional Inspiration
To renew and restore the team's spirit it is necessary to rebuild trust and open up the lines of communication. You can mend and revitalize any team as long as it is the mutual desire of the entire team. Everyone must be on board!
The following is an empowering and enduring method for converting conflict to collaboraton.
Start by having a team meeting where everyone is asked to agree to communicate openly and honestly. In most cases everyone in the office has already heard about the conflict and chosen sides. Therfore, the reason for a team meeting versus just the 3 people involved in the triangle of mistrust.
Next it is imperative to create a safe environment in order for the team to share their thoughts, feelings and ideas. You can do this by establishing safety rules. These are actually guidelines of behavior for the meeting that everyone agrees to and follows in order to feel safe in sharing their thoughts, feeling and ideas. Once the safety rules have been established the team will feel safe and be enpowered to discuss what actually transpired to create the conflict. This is not to point the finger at anybody. It is merely for the team to examine what happened and create future guidelines to avoid having it happen again. It is key for the entire team to agree to let go of their past grievances (baggage) and wipe the slate clean in order to be able move forward.
"Our baggage includes everything from once valid beliefs and practices that have outlived their usefulness, to misinformation and misconceptions that we've accepted (and even embraced) without much examination or thought."
Often times old habits get in the way of good intentions. That is why this final step is so vital in generating lasting results. Everyone is responsible in holding everyone accountable. If a coworker starts talking about another team member, it is up to the person they are sharing it with to stop the conversation immediately. To do this they should politely ask the person to speak directly to the team member they are talking about. If that person tries to continue the conversation they are to be reminded that the entire team agreed not to create a triangle of mistrust by talking about each other.
If the team member has tried to address the issue with the person they have the conflict with and it is without resolution, they are to take it to management for assistance. |
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Enhancing your personal and professional image can inspire connections, build relationships and create WOW experiences. Will 2008 be just another 12 months in your life, or will it be the year that turns your life around? Let us help you awaken your inner shine and not just make it a GREAT year but an EXTRAORDINARY year! In fact, the best year of your life.
Contact Judy Kay today if you are ready to start the momentum to your best year ever!
952-435-4355 |
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