Welcome to Better Endings New Beginnings - helping you think differently. We hope to provide tips and ideas of living with and loving children and adults with FASDs to help your loved ones and persons you serve.

SEPTEMBER EYE OPENER

LITERALLY RELATING TO THE RULES

A year ago Liz and I traveled to Kentucky for a FASD conference. We arrived at the airport at 5:00 am to get through security. A new sign was posted stating "DO NOT CARRY LIGHTERS" so Liz promptly took her lighter and placed it into her sock and walked through security to immediately get wanded. She met with airport security and explained she wasn't carrying a lighter, it was in her sock. Then we met with Minneapolis and Minnesota homeland security. Everyone was briefed on concrete-literal thinking, Liz gave up her lighter and narrowly avoided a $3000 fine and future banishment from US airspace.
Over the last year I trained at modified high schools and share the story by first showing a sample of the sign. A young man bounced in his chair with his hand waving for my attention to tell me his good idea of what he would do. "I'd put it in my sock!" he smiled. Liz was not the only one thinking this way.
The signage at the airports has changed for literal thinkers - the word NO is included with the products banned and in other cases pictures with red X's are shown.
ARE YOU CLEAR ON WHAT YOU ARE SAYING WHEN YOU ARE FRUSTRATED BY A CHILD'S BEHAVIOR?

Rebecca A. Mores in her book Incorporating Social Goals in the Classroom shares a charming story of how a child with autism may relate to rules:
Regardless of how many times one mom said "WIPE YOUR SHOES" her son still tracked dirt into the house leaving a trail behind him. Each day became more frustrating for both child and mother, consequences and timeouts didn't make a difference. One day the mother watched as her son, before entering the house bent over to wipe the top of his shoes. The problem wasn't with her son. It was her problem, she had not been clear.
Do you have frustrating issues that need detective work. When you discover the truth - let us know - our kids often are your kids.