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One of the things I like the best about this forum is that it shines a light on the relationship between pets and their humans. I figure that most people who get this email get it because they have a pet.
But you might notice that occasionally I stray from the human animal bond as my topic.
Perhaps occasionally is a little understated.
The topics that are universally understood as best to avoid are what....?
Religion and Politics.
You guys probably don't know what Religion or Political party I belong to, because frankly as a veterinarian it doesn't really matter. There is enough discord in the world and we are all tired of hearing the back and forth of deeply held beliefs on the news.
At the end of the day I truly believe that regardless of the us vs them mentality that humans tend to fall into, that we share more character traits than not. If we have pets or kids, we marvel in the things they do. Whatever we participate in, whether it be in work or in the community, we take a certain pride in a job well done. We try to be good people, but we fail sometimes, and if we can put down our guard from time to time, the truly valuable connections are formed in that space.
I consider myself a pretty spiritual person, but have a sketchy past with religious affiliations. I was baptized Lutheran but considered myself defiantly agnostic by high school. I was married in the Catholic church, and divorced in a court room that was near a church. Becca and Daniel were baptized Catholic. As an adult I have gone to several Congregational Churches, as well as the Unitarian Universalist church. Mary and I were married on a rocky shore of an Island in the Penobscot Bay with a friend of ours officiating who was a justice of the peace.
Let me start out by saying that I have a great respect for those of you with deep and abiding faith. I see that faith helps deeply around pet loss and I'm sure that is true around human loss and overcoming adversity as well. Spirituality to me is about living a life that is true to your beliefs. Staying true to deep human values is at the core of most religious practice.
At this point in my life I must consider myself a seeker.
So, in that vein, I recently visited a Zendo in Surry. My sister in law had mentioned they were having an open house, so I decided to go. Buddhism appeals to me on several levels. For one, its focus on present moment awareness and compassion seem perfect. I also think that the Dalai Lama is a very wise man. The practice of meditation appeals to me because my adrenaline-addled mind seeks a place to be still, to look inward. Similarly, Daoists believe meditation to be central to the spiritual journey.
I believe that meditation and prayer serve a similar function.
But, to be honest I suck at meditation, so I find that I am constantly drifting in and out of a practice. For awhile I took TaiChi and we had a meditation time before we did the form that I found that to be very centering. It lasted 10 or 15 minutes. I wonder sometimes how the Buddhist monks can meditate for so long.
So, at the open house I saw the beautiful building and heard how it had been built from timbers hewn from the woods nearby. I saw the alter at the front and admired its simplicity. I made a decision to go to a Sunday worship time in the near future.
A few weeks ago I went. It was a beautiful fall day and I left early to get to the Zendo in time to get situated and get a feel for the group. I walked down the long path to the building. There were moss covered granite boulders in the forest. There was a carved face with the universal sign of the finger in front of a closed mouth as if to say Shhhh......
I arrived 15 minutes early and no one was there. There was a board by the entrance to the Zendo that had a schedule as well as a review of Zendo Etiquette. I read it, eager to be respectful.
First, there would be a 25 minute meditation, then a brief 5 minute break to stretch. Then another 25 minute meditation and then a walking meditation. The walking meditation would have two parts...a slow walk then a fast walk. The idea was to focus on breath during the meditation portions and on the movement of your body during the walking meditation. At the end of the walking meditation there would be a short Dharma talk .
Upon entering the Zendo, we were to bow to the alter, then choose the first meditation cushion on the left and if that was taken, fill the next one in a clockwise direction. Once you came to your cushion, you would bow and then turn toward the center and bow again.
Just as I finished reviewing the Etiquette, a slim woman in her early 60's came and greeted me with a smile. She reminded me to take off my shoes and leave them outside before entering the Zendo, but to make myself at home. I took my place at the first cushion as instructed and straightened my spine and took a deep cleansing breath.
In through the nose, slowly out through the mouth. I closed my eyes and got a head start on my inward journey.
Slowly people began to come in. The took their places and then after 8 people had come in the woman who I had met when I arrived went to the front. She rang a bell with a beautiful tone that slowly, almost imperceptibly, decreased to silence. I took notice of the stillness in the room at the end of the bell's tone.
I focused on my breathing, pay attention to the random thoughts that came, and each time I would imagine a large chalkboard with my thought on it. Then I would take an imaginary eraser and begin to erase the thought before it had an emotional reaction. Focus back on my breath.
In through the nose, slowly out through the mouth.
25 minutes came and went, and we stretched.
I looked up at the variety of people present. I was about mid-age of the group. There were a few younger people, and several older. Straight ahead of me was a man in the older than me group, and I noticed he had a cane. He had taken a different position on his cushion to allow for straightening of his leg.
I wondered whether his cane was because of injury or arthritis. He didn't seem much older than me. I noticed that my knee was cracking as I stretched.
The second 25 minute meditation session was started with the same beautiful bell. I started the session thinking that I really should start taking the fish oil again for my knee. As time went on, I considered that maybe I should go to the Blue Hill Fair when I left. It was so close. But last time I went to the Blue Hill Fair I got fresh vegetables that had been fried in an almost tempura looking batter. They tasted great, but left me feeling bloated. Maybe I would go to the Food Coop instead.
Oops. I need my big eraser back. Decide this later, for now, focus on my breath. I wish I had a glass of water or maybe some tea. My mouth is so dry. Maybe I'll get some tea at the Food coop when this is over.
Breath in through the nose, out through the mouth. Slowly.
That wasn't very slow.
Try again.
That's better.
Bell is rung again, for the first time the woman at the front speaks.
"Now is time for Walking Meditation."
I get up and check the distance between me and others, taking note to keep the distance equal, since I have no idea how fast we will be walking.
The walking starts out very slow. I am surprised how good it feels to stand. Slowly shift my weight from one foot to the other. Feel the weight of my body transfer from one foot to the other. Focus on the spot where the majority of my weight goes from one leg to the other. Imagine there is sand that is moving from one leg, slowly to the other.
My sand is a little fast for the group. Slow it down, feel the movement.
Oh yeah, breathing.
I wonder what kind of tea I'll get when I go to the Food Coop? Maybe something with caffeine.
I hear the man who was across from me coming up closer as I focus on my breathing, and the shifting of my weight from one leg to the other.
I notice the rhythm of his walk. Step, step, clop as the cane hits the ground. I wonder if he is going to pass me.
I pick up the pace a little.
"Fast Walking Meditation" I hear the nice Dharma lady say.
I am surprised at how much faster this is. Suddenly we are walking more quickly.
Some people are flopping their arms in a gorilla like motion. I wonder to myself whether that Gorilla in the Mist woman is a Buddhist.
What is her name?
I become aware of the man behind me.
The cadence has stepped up.
Step step clop
step step clop
step step clop
..................everybody
We will we will Rock you.
Damn. Freddie Mercury is in my head.
Dian Fossey!!! That is the Gorilla in the mist woman!!
Step step clop
step step clop.
We return to our cushions. Cool. Now the Dharma talk.
Except I hear the clear tone of the bell again.
Everyone closes their eyes.
I wait for 5 minutes, 10 minutes.
I begin to look at the door. I am close and can sneak out. 15 minutes goes by, 20 minutes.
My mouth is dry, Freddie Mercury is now onto Fat Bottom Girls. I need to leave.
So turns out I don't think I'll be going back to the Zendo...and for those of you who are reading this who are Buddhist, I mean no disrespect.
I think the long meditation is what took me out.
Music and nature seems to evoke the deep spiritual experience for me personally. One time I visited a chapel in Denver that had the most amazing view of the surrounding area. When I was a kid, because my mother was from Germany, we visited Europe a few times. Each time I was struck by the beauty of the huge cathedrals and churches.
Over history I can see the amount of energy and resources we have put into places of worship. Whether the spot we worship is in the woods or on a mountaintop, whether its with a hymnal or an Ipod, I think that our spirituality should be celebrated.
Even though Gizmo, Chloe or your pet at home may not behave any better than I did at the Zendo, I am convinced that they can appreciate the grace that we draw when we take the time to honor our spiritual beliefs.
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