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Greetings! December 2009
Wishing you and your family all the best during this holiday season and in the New Year!
From your friends at Friends of Recovery, Vermont-
Patty, Rita, Marie and Kate (Staff)
Nancy, Alice, Ken, Tony, Joy, Joan, Dick
Craig, Larry, Sandy, Barbara, Mike and Lee
(Advisory Board) |
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| ONDCP Launches Awareness Campaign on Holiday Challenges for Americans in Recovery from Addiction |
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PRESS RELEASE: Monday, November 23, 2009
(Washington, D.C.)-The holiday season, a time of joy and celebration, also poses daunting challenges for over 10 million Americans in recovery from addiction. As the season begins, the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy is launching an awareness campaign asking families, friends and communities to offer support and encouragement to those in recovery.
"Substance abuse affects millions of Americans, their families and their communities, at all levels of our society," said ONDCP Director Gil Kerlikowske. "Many who have struggled with addiction have made the courageous decision to seek help and begin the promising path to recovery.
"However, at this time of year, those in recovery often face many of the same stresses and emotions that once contributed to their substance abuse. But with the help of family, friends and community, those in recovery can win the daily struggle to remain clean and sober and emerge from the holidays on course for a continuing recovery," Kerlikowske said.
In 2008, an estimated 23.1 million people age 12 and older were in need of treatment for an illicit drug or alcohol use problem. Of those people, 2.3 million received treatment at a specialty facility. Experts believe that the holiday period often brings special stresses to bear on recovering people that can trigger relapse.
ONDCP Deputy Director Dr. Thomas McLellan, a respected expert on addiction and treatment, said there are several reasons the holidays pose particular challenges to people recovering from addiction.
At holiday parties and celebrations, often there is substantial substance use and abuse, with accompanying social pressure to join in, he said.
"That's tough: you have all the cues there, the substance is accessible, and its use is encouraged," said Dr. McLellan. "It's a triple threat for someone trying to sustain a recovery."
Also, many people feel lonely and depressed around the holidays, often more than at other times of the year, Dr. McLellan said. Holiday reunions of family and friends often bring the joys of love and companionship, but can also create stress and tension for some people.
"Those can be triggers to slide back into substance abusing behavior," Dr. McLellan said.
Recovery Information
Recovery Resources: www.Facesandvoicesofrecovery.org
SAMSHA 24-hour toll-free Treatment and Referral Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
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RECOVERY IS THE GREATEST GIFT OF ALL
FROM HAZELDEN.ORG
The holidays are a time of giving and receiving, exchanging good wishes, and looking forward to a brighter year ahead.
But for someone trapped in a cycle of addiction to alcohol and other drugs, the holidays can be a nightmare. Family arguments and the financial chaos that often results from addiction can make the holidays a time to dread rather than cherish. That is exactly what many people caught in addiction do--they run as fast as they can from this time of year, because facing it honestly is too painful.
This time of year is also one of renewal. For those who have tasted what recovery has to offer, the holidays may conjure up painful images of the past. They also offer the chance of memories filled with hope and personal discovery.
Mark is a recovering alcoholic who now sees the holidays as a time of gratitude. But it wasn't always that way.
"I've got 10 years of sobriety," Mark said. "That first day I walked into an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting was the lowest of my life. It was the first week of January and the holidays were mercifully over. It had been another year of promising to buy gifts for family and friends, and another year when I didn't. My drinking came before anything else.
"I wasn't very good at sharing personal problems. So every holiday I'd show up at my family's door and do my best for a week to hide the shame I felt. Leaving brought great relief.
"Sobriety has brought me many gifts; gifts that have been hard won. My self-respect, for one. It started coming back as I listened to people at AA meetings share stories nearly identical to mine. It was good to know I wasn't alone.
"But the best gift is the ability to have a healthy relationship--something not possible when I was drinking. Within the past year I've met and married the most wonderful woman in the world. I never thought this could happen to me.
"I look forward to the holidays now. I have done my best to make amends to those I hurt during my drinking years. The adults in my family still don't acknowledge my alcoholism. But I do talk to my nieces and nephews about it, and I'm gratified by their love and support.
"Recovery is the greatest gift of all I have ever received. It gave me my life back. No other gift can hope to do that. What I enjoy most about the holidays now is that I get to celebrate that gift and realize that nothing in my life would be possible without it. I've also had the privilege to speak to a number of groups and tell my story. Every time I do I multiply that gift many times. I am truly grateful."
Mark's story can be told over and over. The characters and circumstances may change, but it's still the same story of wellness, personal growth, hope and gratitude, no matter who's telling it.
Maybe you or someone you love knows the first part of Mark's story all too well. There's no better time than now to change and stop the pain. You don't have to hit bottom to get help. There is hope and there are many helpful, confidential sources who can tell you about recovery opportunities. AA and Narcotics Anonymous chapters in your area can help. Many employee assistance programs and county social services offer 24-hour help lines that can give guidance. Or call an addiction treatment center near you.
Help is also available for family members who face another painful year with an addicted loved one. Al-Anon and Nar-Anon are mutual-help support groups for loved ones of alcoholics and drug addicts, respectively. They help members care for themselves. Many treatment centers, including Hazelden, offer special family programs to help people cope during their loved one's disease.
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ALCOHOLISM RECOVERY
12 STEPS TO STAY SOBER OVER THE HOLIDAYS
One of the most difficult times of the year for those recovering from alcoholism is the Christmas holidays. If you find yourself struggling during the Christmas season, please remember that you are not alone. Help is only a phone call or a meeting away!
Here are some helpful and practical tips to keep you from taking that first drink.
1. Plan Each and Every Day of Your Holiday
Plan to spend the majority of your time with friends and family who are supportive of your recovery. If you are required to be present for a social gathering where alcohol is being served, bring a fellow AA member with you. Plan fun events and outings to replace your old drinking rituals.
2. Find an "Alkathon" in Your Area
During the Christmas season, some AA groups hold a marathon of meetings called an "Alkathon." It is a time when the members of Alcoholics Anonymous gather together to celebrate their recovery from alcohol addiction. Many AA groups have meetings on the hour every hour to share their experience, strength and hope. If you are a member of the fellowship or think that you might have a problem with alcohol, you are welcome to attend. Check the local papers for an "Alkathon" in your area.
3. Ask for Support from Your Family and Friends
Those who are truly supportive of your recovery will be happy to help you throughout the holidays. Be up front and tell them your concerns.
4. Have a List of at Least Ten People you can call if you feel the Urge to Drink
Make a list and check it twice. Carry your cell phone and your list of names at all times. The urge to drink is very powerful and can happen at any time.
CONTINUED ON NEXT COLUMN
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Christmas Party at the Turning Point of Addison County in Middlebury- Saturday December 19, 1:00 - 3:00 p.m. (Special Guest appearance of Santa Claus!) Potluck- bring a dish to share. Call 1 (802) 388-4249 for more information.
Alcothons at the Turning Point Center in Springfield. Christmas Eve, 6 p.m. - 12 a.m., potluck, meetings. New Years Eve, 6 p.m. - 12 a.m., potluck, meetings. Call 1 (802) 885-4668 for more information. | |
| Holiday Party Hosts Need to Plan for Non-Drinkers
from Hazelden.com |
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Cheers. The holidays are upon us, and with them come the rituals, parties and pressures that create challenges for most people and dread for many nondrinkers. Those in early recovery from alcoholism are vulnerable to relapse when alcohol is abundant--not only in the beverages at holiday gatherings but in many of the foods served as well.
Liz Scott, an award-winning chef and author of Sober Celebrations (Cleveland Clinic Press, 2007) and The Sober Kitchen (Harvard Commons Press, 2003), has been sober for almost 10 years. "I quit drinking right before Christmas, which was tough," Scott said. "When I entered recovery, a counselor brought to my attention that, contrary to popular belief, alcohol doesn't disappear when cooking. I didn't believe this at first, but have since learned that from 5 to 85 percent of the alcohol added to a dish is retained, depending on the cooking method, the type of alcohol used, and the amount of time it is exposed to heat.
"Alcohol creeps into menus more often during the holidays than it would at other times of the year, plus just handling the bottles, smelling alcohol, or seeing wine or cocktail glasses can trigger cravings. My counselor asked, 'How will you cope?' And I knew that if I was to do what I loved yet still stay sober, I'd have to find an answer to that question."
Scott, classically trained at the French Culinary Institute and accustomed to cooking with alcohol, began experimenting, substituting other common ingredients for alcohol. "I discovered that 90 percent of the time alcohol is used for flavor, but certain juices and vinegars have similar sweet or acidic properties."
For instance, Scott suggests using three parts white grape juice and one part lemon juice instead of dry and tart white wine for shellfish and seafood; three parts red grape juice and one part balsamic vinegar instead of full-bodied red wine for beef and game; and three parts white cranberry juice and one part white balsamic vinegar instead of sweet white wine for desserts.
Scott cautions those who cannot drink because of addiction, pregnancy, or other health reasons or who simply choose not to drink, to be aware of what they consume at holiday celebrations or office parties. "Maybe that fruitcake is doused with bourbon and you may not realize it until you've had one or two bites," she said. Since alcohol can be present in punches, sauces, marinades, desserts, etc., Scott urges partygoers to ask the host about ingredients before they eat or drink something that may ignite cravings or endanger one's health. She said it's perfectly acceptable to ask if something contains peanuts, so why not ask about alcohol? It's also important for hosts to "know their guest list," and provide a wide assortment of non-alcoholic beverages for those who don't drink.
As people get more health conscious, Scott said the stigma of not drinking has lessened considerably and the selection of alcohol-free beverages has grown. She has also developed recipes for "mocktails," which she said are completely free of alcohol and more exciting and flavorful than alcoholic drinks.
Scott said that anecdotal evidence suggests that people who have several years of recovery under their belt are usually not bothered by beverages that resemble alcoholic drinks or having non-alcoholic drinks served to them in glasses commonly reserved for wine, beer or alcohol. However, she warns those in early recovery to be careful about "visual cues" that could test sobriety.
"Everyone's journey is different," Scott said. "Pay attention to how you feel and honor those feelings in order to create a sober lifestyle." It may be better for newly sober individuals to skip a party this year rather than trying to "white knuckle" it through an uncomfortable situation. Those in early recovery may also want to create their own holiday traditions by inviting friends and family to celebrate the New Year and their new life in ways that don't include alcohol.
"There will always be other parties and holiday gatherings in the years to come," said Scott. "Why tease the tiger?"
See www.thesoberkitchen.com for recipes and more information about sober cooking.
--by Cynthia Orange
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12 STEPS TO STAY SOBER OVER THE HOLIDAYS (continued)
5. Don't Forget about Regular Exercise
Regular exercise is an essential component of any balanced recovery program. If you have extra time on your hands, it is a great idea to get out and exercise. Examples include running, skating, cross country skiing, stretching, yoga, Tai Chi, Pilates or water aerobics. Instead of napping on the couch after dinner, go for a walk around the block.
6. Stay Away from Slippery Places
There is absolutely no reason to ever check out your former favorite drinking establishments. It is very likely that your old drinking buddies are still there and are still telling the same old stories.
7. Create New Traditions to replace your Old Drinking Patterns
Try something totally different during the holidays. Buy a new board game; take the family on a sleigh ride; prepare a family power point presentation. Use you imagination, be creative and have fun.
8. Write out a Daily Gratitude List
The quickest cure to get you out of the holiday blues is by counting your blessings. Be grateful for what you have by writing out a gratitude list every morning. Don't stop writing until you have at least 10 items on your list.
9. Volunteer your Services to a Charitable Organization
There are many people in your community who are homeless and hungry. Why not volunteer to work at a soup kitchen or at a special Christmas dinner for those less fortunate than you? You will be helping not only the needy but yourself!
10. Write a Letter to yourself. How I Stayed Sober over Christmas.
The act of writing your ideas on paper is very powerful. Write down all the activities and events that will help you have healthy happy sober Christmas. Now take action on them and make this letter come true!
11. Avoid H.A.L.T.
H.A.L.T. stands for:
· Hungry
· Angry
· Lonely
· Tired
There are very simple solutions for all of the above items. If you are hungry, get something to eat. If you are angry, talk to somebody about it. If you are lonely, go to a meeting or call a friend. If you are tired, get a good night's sleep.
12. Live One Day at a time and Enjoy your Sobriety!
Stay in the moment. Have present time consciousness. Be in the now. These are all different ways of telling you to live 1 day at a time. Never mind about what happened or what could happen. Enjoy today. Live today. Celebrate your sobriety!
If you follow these simple steps, it is totally feasible to stay sober over the Christmas Holidays. Take action now!
Print out this article and plan a Happy and Healthy holiday season.
Dr. Larry Smith Chiropractor and Author of:
Embrace the Journey of Recovery: From Tragedy to Triumph!
Are You Recovering From Alcohol or Drug Addiction?
"If your answer is yes, then this book is for you!"
Embrace the Journey of Recovery will passionately reignite your spirit and teach you how to confront, conquer and powerfully triumph over addiction, cancer or any other life threatening illness! Is addiction a genuine life threatening illness like cancer? If so, then why is it concealed behind a wall of shame and denial?
Discover the answer and experience the remarkable story of two courageous yet ordinary individuals and their astonishing recoveries from heartbreaking tragedy. Find out how a cancer survivor and an alcoholic mutually support each other and passionately embrace the journey of recovery. Their message is simple. They transformed their lives and you can too! To find out more about this exciting new book click here:
http://embracingthejourneybook.com/
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Larry_Smith
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Holiday Party Etiquette
by Snow P.
What is an rsvp? It's french, means répondez s'il vous plaît, respond if you please, usually by the date on the invitation.
What if it's a party with alcohol?"We are miracles of mental health" p. 133. Ask your sponsor if you are a miracle yet and spiritually fit enough to go! Eat a full meal before you go; When you put down your drink, never pick it up again, get a new one. If someone asks if you want a drink, you say yes, a coke please, any soda is a drink!
Do I have to bring something?Just like the wise men, always bear gifts, no matter how small; flowers, some cookies, a package of pretty napkins, something to show your appreciation because the person was nice enough to invite you and arrange for you to have a good time.
At the last minute can I bring a guest or child?Ask the host/hostess first. It may be an adult only party in which case get a babysitter or stay home. If it is a large party, the hostess may say to bring an extra adult with no problem
What if I rsvp and then changed my mind and don't go? It depends on what type of party it is. If it's a sit down dinner for 10, you must call and cancel. If it is a large party, I usually won't bother the hostess and call the next day to apologize for not being there, and find out how it turned out for the wonderful person who invited me.
What if I get a better offer?You own nothing but what is inside of you. Don't say yes until you are sure that is what you want to do. Your word is your honor. If you say you are going to be someplace, be there. If you get a better offer, you may be able to split the evening and do both. If not, assume God has a purpose for you attending the one you said yes to and go to find out what it is.
How do I handle my fear of people? Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us...but not without work! The only people who have courage are the ones who do what they are afraid of. You get on your knees the day of the event, ten times if necessary, and ask God to give you the courage and strength to show up for your own life. You have the option of showing up to find out that there is nothing to be afraid of or waiting until another time for the same lesson in growth. It's not going away and you will have to learn how to talk to people eventually. All people have to put their pants on one leg at a time, there is no one greater or lesser than you. Being afraid of people is just more self centeredness. Say the 3rd step prayer. It's not about you, but how you can be of service to the people God is putting in your path.
How do I dress? Dress like a grown up. Go look at some magazines and determine what a woman of class and dignity looks like. Pretend you are one if you have to and wear something lovely. You can never look too good. Only if the hostess says it's a jeans party do you wear jeans. Otherwise gals, wear a pair of pants or a skirt with a pretty blouse and a nice necklace if you don't have a suit or nice dress. Guys, clean collared shirts and a jacket or a fancy shirt. No shorts, T Shirts or flip flops. You can also find lots of wonderful dress clothes at Thrift Stores. Ladies, don't wear "hunting clothes" ...necklines down to your navel or skirts up to your thighs, no see through anything, and if you have a thong on, we don't want to know it!
How do I handle my social anxiety?I never had a problem with my coffee table. We are only afraid of people and that's why it is addressed in our steps. It's more self centeredness; what are they thinking about me, how do they think I look? what if someone thinks I'm not smart? What if they ask me something I don't know? What if they notice I'm not drinking? This is all self centeredness and we have a program for this, we have to ask God to go to the party ahead of us and be there when we arrive. Relieve me of the bondage of self is the key. It's not about you, but how you can be of maximum service to mankind. Maybe there is someone there that really needs to talk about an ailing parent, or a broken heart or a lost purse, you don't know. You just show up to see what assignment God has for you at that location. It's not about what people think of you, but how close attention you are paying to them. You have to listen to where the opportunity is to be of service. If you are hiding in a corner, you can't hear it. You have the grace of God in you and are obligated to shine your light to help others who may be in the dark.
What if I don't have a date (weddings)?This assumes you have been sent an invitation for two guests, so bring a friend in the program with you. I have taken girlfriends to a weddings and had a great time. Again, it's not what people think of you, it's what God thinks of you. Life is to be enjoyed, not endured. Find ways to enjoy it so you can help others enjoy it.
How do I handle social conversations? You get out of the way and ask a million questions of the person you are talking to. Most people love to talk about themselves. Ask about their jobs, their families, their children, where they were born, what they love to do, where they live. Find out about them and how wonderful they are. How do they know the host, what foods/restaurants do they like? It's not about you. If they ask you a question you are uncomfortable about, answer with a question!
Is it ok to just find a chair and stay there?You can't be of maximum service to God and mankind, the ultimate goal of the 12 steps, if you sit in a corner with a lampshade over your head hiding the miracle you have been blessed with. You have to start someplace and if it is your first party, make progress no matter how small. It's the baby steps that get you on the journey. You are obligated to shine your magic in the world in whatever small way you can. Be of service, if you are frightened, help the hostess serve or clean up, get busy and be about God's business. Be useful.
What if I have certain foods I cannot eat? Don't eat them. No one is ever going to force you to eat or drink anything. If you know ahead of time that something you can't eat will be served, ask the hostess if a substitute is possible because you have an allergy. They will surly understand. If no substitute is possible, ask the waiter if you can have more of whatever vegetable is on the plate with added salad. Talk to the waiter and I am sure they will come up with a dish that will work for you. If it's a buffet, the choices are clear, they're yours. If you are afraid you won't get enough to eat, bring a small sandwich or granola bar in your bag which you can eat outside or in the rest room at any time. If you suspect there is alcohol in the food, ask whoever cooked it and don't eat it. According to Duke University, most alcohol does not cook out of food. Tell them you are allergic and ask for a substitute or get more soda/coffee/cookies. You won't starve.
How late can I arrive?If you are invited for an event at 7:00, arrive at 7:00. Your word is your honor. If you accept an invitation, plan to be there. At any fine restaurant they will only hold a table for 15 minutes. Honor your hostess by being on time
How early can I leave? You can leave 5 minutes after you arrive if you absolutely need to. The point is you said you would do something, which is called a commitment, so do what you say you would do. If you want to leave because you are having fear, try to pray and work through it because you eventually have to do it anyway. You will learn a little more every time and eventually be comfortable in your own skin no matter where you are, no matter who you are with. It takes practice and time and doing it. You get that much closer to being you were meant to be every time you want to run and don't, and remember God will meet you anywhere! |
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Tree Trimming Party at the Upper Valley Turning Point in Wilder. Saturday Dec. 19th at 2 p.m. Potluck- Bring a dish to share. Turkey provided. Call 1 (802) 295-5206 for more information.
New Years Alcothon at the Turning Point Center in Burlington. Starts 9 a.m. NewYears Eve for 24 hours- meetings, food, social activities. Call 1 (802) 861-3150 for more information. |
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Friends of Recovery - Vermont promotes the power of long-term recovery from addictions to improve the health and quality of life of Vermonters.
Call us toll-free at 1 (800) 769-2798 |
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