Feature Article

"You enrich my meaningfully shallow existence."  So was the retort from Linda Kent Davis, Director of the Career Development Center at Rhode Island College, in response to our Summer Newsletter.  After a good laugh, we realized that Linda's words expressed something we all feel at one time or another.  That is, while we may strive to swim in the deep end of the pool, we sometimes underestimate the benefits of wading in the shallow end.  Linda's self-deprecating humor shows that meaningfulness doesn't have to be deep.  Dan knows Linda quite well and finds her to be anything but shallow; her keen wit gives expression to the depth of her thought process. 

More often, we see people who are drowning in the shallows, believing that everybody else is (or must be) smarter, stronger, and more successful than they are.  By constantly comparing themselves to others, they avoid having to identify their own internal measures of happiness and success.  If "the glass is always half-empty" there is little reason to expect a more full life.  However, our more shallow moments can reveal important messages, serve as guides or direction finders, and give us permission to expect something greater and more meaningful in our lives and work.  Being in a shallow place helps us identify what is missing, often providing the motivating force to engage us fully in the search for meaning in our work and lives.

When you find yourself in the shallows, try answering these questions.  Record your answers in a journal or on a tape recorder:

• What am I thinking and feeling right now? 
• What is my energy level?  How is it different than my normal energy level?
• What is the message I'm telling myself?  Is it accurate?
• What would be the opposite response to this state?
• What can I learn from this experience?
• What would a "glass half full" look (taste, feel) like?
• What really matters to me in my work?  In my life?

To purge the emptiness, try wading out of your normal routine to go deeper within yourself -- write, meditate, go for a long walk, listen to music, pray, smack around a punching bag, whatever suits you.  Set a specific time every day to just be with yourself.  This may seem challenging if your life is filled with endless "to do's", but if you honor this commitment to yourself as conscientiously as you would the items on your list, you'll begin to notice what meaning looks and feels like.  It may not be as unfathomable as you've led yourself to believe.

When you're ready, request a conversation with someone you trust -- a good friend, a wise elder, or a coach -- who can empathize and understand what's on your mind and in your heart.  Sharing the issues and challenges you're facing can be very transformative - and allow your seemingly shallow existence to take on more meaning.

As part of being human, we all experience times and places of being in the shallows.  They can make us feel empty, depleted, even depressed.  Most often, this is temporary.  But as counter intuitive as it may seem, we need to accept and welcome these times, both for what they are and their place in our quest for meaning.  So embrace your shallowness.  It's okay - and it may just keep you from "jumping off the deep end."