My desire to see the "Avatar" 3D movie in the Seattle area was constantly thwarted by circumstances that surprised me.  The first attempt was met by a "sold-out" theater.  Attempt number two was frustrated by the dial 888.AMC.4FUN universal theater information number not understanding what I was looking for therefore giving me the time for Avatar in normal screen rather than 3D.  When we reached the theater, we were one-half hour late for the 3D version of the movie.

Waiting until we traveled to AZ, we drove to Phoenix with a handy list of theaters, times and addresses.  The third attempt to see the movie resulted in the theater being in a high-rise complex with only interior parking too low for our RV.  I knew obviously there was one theater at which we were to see the movie and appropriate timing in doing so.  We found our way to a shopping mall theater in Glendale, AZ, purchased tickets and my little, inner five year old peeked out from behind the curtain with a small glimmer of excitement.  So much had been said about the beauty of the movie, the deep message contained within it.

The theater was nearly empty and we easily secured very good seats.  After ½ hour of advertisements and previews, the long-awaited moment was at hand.  We put on our glasses, sat back and "Avatar" in 3D began. 

One-third of the way through the 2.5 hour movie, I began to fidget.  I crossed my legs, uncrossed my legs; took a drink of water.  I considered going outside to check on Pancho Villa, our resident wolf, waiting faithfully in the RV in the parking lot.  What was going on?  What was I feeling?

As "Avatar" progressed, it became apparently clear to me why we had to wait to see the movie.  Over the past weeks, I have been observing distinct differences in groups of people.  It was capped the day before seeing the movie as I walked through the mining camp to the shower.  I was looking at all the people working together with various mining equipment, trading information about sites visited and places to find "color" (gold).  I stopped for a moment pretending these hundred or so campsites were not filled with miners, but people attending a spiritual retreat.  I felt my breath catch, my stomach clench in dread.

What was this sensation telling me?  I knew - we always do, you know - when you say you "don't know", you mean you don't want to admit what is true for you.  What was true for me in that moment was my realization that if this were a spiritual retreat "camp", there would be no people sharing mining secrets, working together to find the gold in the sludge in the buckets.  There would be numerous folks sitting, listening to someone tell them how to become "more enlightened"; others hiding in tents, cabins or RV's in "meditation" and most of the others attempting to impress one or more with their spiritual ventures and abilities.  "Epiphanies" and "mystical healing" would be running rampant whether real or imagined.

As I reflected on what I was experiencing, it began to feel like "inner interior decorating", much like when you embellish or re-adorn your home and invite people in to see how pretty it looks now.  As I stood there in the middle of the road with my towel and clean clothes clutched under my arms, I looked truth squarely in the face.  This is why people tell me that it is hard to talk with me because they want to appear spiritual in front of me and are afraid they will fail (hence the nickname, "Terrifying Toni").  So what this means is:  they are busy doing their own inner interior decorating rather than getting into the depth of my courses or meditations.

Tears came to my eyes when I realized there was no way to reach people except by saying what I was feeling, exactly as I felt it. 

This was what "Avatar" was showing me.  Much as I fell asleep through "What the Bleep", I put away my intention to be inspired by "Avatar" and simply enjoyed the special effects - which were lovely.  Then we left and drove home.  I looked at Philip and said, "If people think the message in this movie is that important, the human species is in a world of hurt.  If people do not already know that we are one (and that includes nature) and are that impressed with this movie (grossing $2 billion - more than any movie in history), then the inner interior decorating has got to stop if mankind is to survive."

The Institute of Noetic Sciences sent out a link in their newsletter to an article regarding what is being called "Avatar Depression".  Click Here to read that article.  In short, the article tells the reader that many people (including scientific professionals) found the world of Pandora so desirable and so unattainable that many people have considered suicide.  This is exactly what I am talking about in this writing.  Pandora is not a place to be wished for and never attained.  It is the true place within that does not need decorating, does not want to be more spiritual than someone else and is perfectly fine helping others without feeling like something will be lost.  Though "Avatar" did not get that message across since the Na'vi were quite separate in their community, it is possible.  It is necessary.  It is what everyone wants.  What is not understood is that you absolutely must be it and do it yourself!

It is the essence of The Presence, the basis for Riding the Wave, the reason for Soul Readings, the cause of the Angel Fire, etc.  You, the reader, must come to terms with the truth within you and stop hiding which means that you can talk with me and others with no fear; that you are not afraid to let others see you; that you drop your judgment of how life "should" be and create that which is gloriously possible yourself. 

No one cares what your interior decorations look like because they are too busy with their own inner furniture rearranging.  Empty out your inner housing so that there is room for movement within you.  Look yourself squarely in the eyes and see what you are with no reservations.  I invite you to share this place with me.  I realize that writing this message may lose me some, if not many, subscribers.  That is okay.  I would rather have a few people who understand than thousands who don't get the message pretending that they do.  Face your truth ~ make it your own right now.