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AVAILABLE IN
BOOK OR KINDLE!
Winning Him
Without Words:
10 Keys to Thriving
in Your Spiritually
Mismatched Marriage
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Find Lynn & Dineen at:
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For more information about our speaking schedule and topics.
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Do you have a story to share about how God is working in your spiritually mismatched marriage and want to encourage others in marriages like ours? We'd love to hear about it!
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Speaking & Radio Engagements
Coming in 2012:
Focus on the Family!
Sometime early next year we will have the privilege of being on Focus on the Family. We are so excited! Stay tuned for details!
Lynn Donovan
Replinish
Online Conference
November 1,2,3, 2011
Register Now
Desire Conference
San Marcos
November 5, 2011
Out-Love Your Husband
Sunridge Community Church
December 4, 2010
Register Now
Speaking Schedule 2012
Book Study Groups Open Q&A
Several Skype interviews are scheduled in September and October. Don't hesitate to ask us to join your small group,
live or via Skype.
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Dineen Miller
November 2
9:15-11:15 a.m.
Mothers Together
Danville Community Presbyterian Church
Danville, CA
November 12
Bringing Out
the Book in You
1:00 p.m.
Berean Christian Store
1375 Blossom Hill
San Jose, CA
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If you missed
our radio interviews, please visit us at
Winning Him
to listen to
the recordings. |
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Greetings!
What is Romance?
Earlier this month I had the opportunity to speak at a bookstore about the topic of romance. I love this subject because there are so many ways we can romance our spouse every single day.
And not the kind of romance the world speaks of but God's. Let's talk about that a moment. How does God define romance?
I love Ephesians 5:21 as a glimpse into the heart of our "romantic" Savior, Jesus: "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."
This verse speaks to me as a call to put our spouse's happiness first. The amazing part of this is that when we do this out of reverence (or to serve) Christ, our needs are met too! God's plan is always so perfect.
One of my favorite ways to romance my guy is to surprise him with his favorite treats. Even when he shifted to sugar free, this was easy to do. What I noticed though was that when I spent time with him, watching a show we both enjoyed, he appreciated this even more. Maybe that doesn't sound like the kind of romance we see on TV and movies, but I think it's better.
Why? Because we are building a connection with our spouse that gets stronger and creates a bond and a desire to be together. Have you read Song of Songs? I love the back and forth longing shown between these two lovers. They know each other and long to be together.
That's the kind of romance God created for our marriages. And what's even more precious is that it's a mirror image of His love and longing for us. Just as God "romanced" us to Himself, we can be an instrument of romance in the lives of our spouses to bring intimacy in our marriage and to show Christ to our unbelieving spouse.
That's the kind of romance I want in my marriage. How about you?
Praying and believing,
Dineen
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A Note From Lynn
A New Word
On Tuesday of this week, I had the wonderful delight to spend some time with Pam Farrel. You may recognize Pam's name as she along with her husband, Bill, have been speaking and writing about the joys, challenges, and rewards of a God-honoring marriage.
What you may not know is that Pam was raised in an unequally yoked home. Over lunch, she shared with me how her mother was intentional to bring her children to faith in the midst of a broken and abusive marriage. There is so much of this story that will inspire you and fill you with fresh hope in your parenting efforts.
I plan to write more about her experience, interview her mother and then share it will all of you at Spiritually Unequal Marriage soon. Earlier in the week I shared a story from Pam's parenting experience that impacted my heart, inspired me to new hope and ignited my passion to persist in the training up up of my teenager. You can read that story here. But today I want to pass on a little word that can make a big difference in how you perceive your spouse.
As I sat with Pam and we talked about marriage she said something I had never heard before. It was in a casual sentence about a friend and her pre-believer spouse.
I said, "Wait, what did I just hear. Did you call the unbelieving spouse a pre-believer?"
Pam nods.
"Pam, that's brilliant. I hadn't thought about my husband in this way. My man is a pre-believer. That is such a better word, a positive word, than unbeliever."
She said, "Well it's true."
She is right. It's only a matter of time.
Why does it matter the words we speak? Because our words influence the spiritual realm. Take a look at this scripture.
I once spoke at a conference in Florida and after my speech another speaker said to me, "I think you should stop calling your husband a non-believer. Don't give the devil any ammunition, start thinking of him as your soon-to-be believer."
So today, I declare to the entire world and the heavinlies, my man is a pre-believer and his salvation rests secure in the hands of Jesus.
Anyone else want to join me?
Be blessed, Lynn
We are thrilled to partner in ministry with Pam and Bill Farrel. Many of their books have personally inspired me, made me laugh and given me great understanding. I recommend this month, Men Are Like Waffles- Women Are Like Spaghetti. You will laugh all the way through this one. |
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What Hill are You Dying On?
by Guest and Ministry Partner: Joanne Kraft
(This is an excerpt from Joanne's book, Just Too Busy-Taking Your Family on a Radical Sabbatical)
I was raised by a U.S. Marine. I'm the oldest of four children and find leadership roles enjoyable. I'm the person you would lean on if you needed a shoulder to cry on. I'm the friend you would call if you wanted someone on your side, and I'm the mother of four who demands respect and tolerates nothing less. As you can imagine, as a newly married woman, I was a real peach. Though I didn't drink the "women's lib" Kook-Aid, I would still challenge my husband regularly. I was the daughter of a hard-chargin' Marine for pete sake. There wasn't a hill I wouldn't die on.
"Why are you paying the bills that way?" "Why am I putting gas in the car again?" "Are you seriously wearing that shirt?" "We should leave for your parent's house earlier than that." "Why did you tell him no? I just told him yes." I would challenge his answers on almost any of the above. On and on it went until one fateful evening.
After making some new friends, the more intimate we became the more I began to notice a few things. My new friend challenged her husband on just about everything he said or did. It was pretty sad to watch. No matter how inconsequential, whenever her husband spoke he was interrupted. "Sweetheart, you're wrong, that's not what she said." "Why are you having lasagna? You told me you were in the mood for steak?" "The kids were five and three, not six and four."
What I witnessed that evening broke my heart. This poor man was being nitpicked to death. The hills she was dying on were ludicrous and even ridiculous. I tried to convince myself that the hills I chose to die on at home were much more important. Except I couldn't shake the feeling I was looking into a full-length mirror.
Then it came to me. The story in the Bible where God hands out the consequences to Adam and Eve's sin. "To the woman He said: I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you" Gen. 3:16 NLT. If you didn't catch that last line back there let me remind you again; and you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you. The desire to nitpick, nag, and control goes all the way back to the Garden of Eden.
Once I'd been reminded my desire to win each battle and fight on every hill was something I had to deal with spiritually the real fight was on. I was not going to let my carnal nature win out. I began taking my irritations, and desire to rule-over to the cross. Each day, I prayed for the Lord to open my eyes to what really mattered. I asked Him to show me an important issue to challenge my husband over. But, no longer would I debate him anywhere except the privacy of our bedroom, far away from prying little eyes and ears. I didn't want my daughters to learn any bad habits from me.
The change in our home was miraculous. I wasn't as frustrated or as irritable anymore. I had new eyes to see things in a whole new way. Today, I refuse to die on anymore insignificant battlefields. Though I admittedly still take a hit for the team every now and again, this daughter of a U.S. Marine is learning to stand down and let her husband take his rightful place in the home.
- What hill are you dying on?
- Do you make a point to debate and challenge your husband in public or in private?
- Take a moment and ask the Lord to show you what battlefields aren't yours to win.
Joanne Kraft is a recovering too-busy mom and the author of Just Too Busy-Taking Your Family on a Radical Sabbatical. Her articles have appeared in Thriving Family, In Touch, ParentLife, P31 Woman and more. She's appeared on CBN News; Focus on the Family's - Your Family Live, Sacramento & Co. and The Harvest Show.
Joanne lives in Northern California with her husband, Paul, their four children, and a beagle with a slight weight problem.
Joanne and Paul encourage families through their ministry Grace & Truth Living.
Sign up for Joanne's monthly MotherLoad newsletter.
Purchase Just Too Busy on Amazon!
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Praying for the Lost
 Holy Spirit, I plead that ______________ will understand the gospel when it is presented to him/her so that the devil cannot snatch it away (Matt. 13:5,9). |
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From Lynn & Dineen
We hope you are enjoying our October challenge to "Out-love Your Spouse" over at the S.U.M. site. So many of you have left comments letting us know how God is doing amazing things in your marriage-through you! Sometimes it's hard to take that first step. Sometimes we don't want to be the one to change. Sometimes we get stuck in these ruts the enemy is delighted to see us stay in. Just remember, He who is in us is great than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4). Now that's the best deposit we can carry to eternity. We can overcome the burdens and trials of this life and know the joy Jesus died to give us. Amen?
Thrive in love,
Lynn and Dineen
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. - Romans 15:13
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