Trust

Several weeks ago, my local church offered a course on marriage. One of the morning discussions focused on trust in marriage. A successful marriage is all about trust. Trust is really all about commitment. It's about being naked with your thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams, and body.

Are you committed to your relationship so firmly that your spouse feels safe to be authentic?

You may be, but you may also feel that your spouse doesn't allow you to be authentic. This is often true in a spiritually mismatched marriage. Opening up about our faith only to be met with hostility, mocking and/or dismissal from our spouse will cause our emotional walls of protection to go up.   

How do we build trust in our mismatched marriages?

I'm sure the professionals have written scores of books on this issue, but I think we can start with a few key ideas to build trust.

Wives: Next time you are at a social outing, make a conscious effort to honor your husband with your words in front of your friends. And in front of your husband.

Typically, when women get together, husband bashing is a common sport. Don't participate. In fact, I challenge you to love your husband out loud in a social setting.

Husbands: Make certain your wife knows that you honor her with your eyes and thoughts. And, do what you say you are going to do.

Finally, I want to leave you with this challenge. Navigating through conflict can tear down trust or help build trust. Build trust through conflict by omitting this word: YOU

The word "you" often comes across as accusatory and shaming. You did this. You caused this. You are at fault. Instead bring the word "I" into your conflicts. Such as, I feel this way when this happens.

God's Word speaks much about the words we speak to one another. They can heal or destroy. Bring healing and trust into your marriage with words that honor your spouse and honor the Lord.

Proverbs 12:18:

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Be Blessed,

Lynn