Dear friends of life and family:
He stood on principle. He defended the Church. He refused to act against his conscience. He was stalwart in defense of marriage. And in 1535, the king chopped off his head.
His steadfast virtue - especially his faithfulness, courage, and integrity in the public square - is what makes this great martyr, Saint Thomas More, a fitting patron of HLI America.
Saint Thomas was an ardent defender of the institution of marriage and the Church's proper governance of it. At the same time, one of the most admirable yet oft-overlooked qualities of Sir Thomas More was his fidelity and love of his family - he was a true paragon of fatherly virtues. He loved his bride and he loved his children, including a special place in his heart for his beloved daughter, Margaret. He was a father in the fullest sense of the word, leading his family into deeper relationship with God the Father through a life of prayer, penance, and virtue. Indeed, his family was truly a "school of virtue."
He is our patron because the notion of the family as a school of virtue is about as foreign a concept as you can get in modern times. School of virtue? Try "ball and chain!"
Marriage is rarely spoken of with words of praise; these days it is more commonly attacked or derided as an outdated burden. I am not convinced, however, that these attacks are typically motivated by malice. Rather, I think they come from a deep-seated confusion and a failure to appreciate the beauty of marriage. This sad confusion both causes and is caused by countless offenses against marriage: pornography, divorce, adultery, cohabitation, contraception, and homosexual "marriage" to name but a few.
Amid such an environment, we are called to fight for marriage and the family by confronting the confusion that is causing society to lose its head over marriage. We must engage, as it were, in the spiritual work of mercy of instructing the ignorant. If people truly knew what marriage is, if they experience the true beauty of marriage, the sins cited above would be seen for what they are.
Marriage is a natural institution created by God in which one man and one woman enter into a contract by which they promise exclusivity, faithfulness, and to be open to children. This institution was raised by Christ to a Sacrament, and as such, it confers Grace. Pope Paul VI emphasized in Humanae vitae that "Marriage...is in reality the wise and provident institution of God the creator" (n.8). While Saint Augustine noted that "the first natural bond of human society is man and wife."
Marriage perdures unto death. This life-long institution is what Saint Thomas defended. It was for the sake of this institution that Saint Thomas died.
Marriage, of course, is not only an institution; but is a relationship of love that must be "worked on." It is built up, or consummated, through acts of self-gift for the sake of the beloved. Through mutual gift-of-self spouses are submissive to one another out of reverence for Christ. As blessed John Paul II emphasized, they seek to grow in holiness together as they form an intimate communion of love that overflows to such a degree that, God willing, a new life, the "crowning glory and supreme gift" of their marriage, is brought into the world as a "living reflection of their love." Their relationship, like that of Sir Thomas More and Lady Alice, so animated by love, becomes a sacrament of the very love of God.
So marriage is at the same time a non-changing institution into which a couple freely enters, and a relationship of love that is gradually realized through sacrificial and life-giving acts. This is no easy task - permanence and sacrifice require commitment and God's grace. However, marriages are more likely to become what they are intended to be when a couple knows and appreciates this fuller vision of marriage. Furthermore, knowing what marriage is gives us a noble cause for which to fight.
There is an old "Close to Home" comic that shows a couple getting into a channel boat to traverse the proverbial "tunnel of love" - a classic romantic scene. The inscription above the tunnel reads "Tunnel of Love, then disillusionment, then mundane humdrum coexistence." The young man, upon seeing the sign, clearly is not so sure he wants to climb aboard.
Can you blame him? This is the vision of marriage today - why would anyone want marriage, much less defend it?
Then there is this: last week my wife and I attended the celebration of the 50th wedding anniversary of a family member. One of the highlights of the evening was when they asked all the couples who had been married for 50 years to stand - and there were several who stood, to an ovation from the rest of us who aspire to such a goal.
My wife's aunt and uncle did not claim to have all the answers, or that it had been easy. But they shared with us their hope that their celebration might be a witness to the beauty of marriage so that their loved ones might be impacted and encouraged.
As the Saints have often noted, the best way to evangelize is through the life we lead. Concrete examples are essential. Whether we find such examples among our family and friends, or in the great Saints of the Church, we ought to be affected by their beauty. At the same time, those of us who are married are called to strive to be witnesses to the beauty of marriage.
Such witness is necessary if our society is going to keep its "head."
Sincerely yours in Christ,
Arland K. Nichols
National Director, HLI America
