Just One Thing (JOT) is the free newsletter that
suggests a simple practice each week that will bring you more joy, more
fulfilling relationships, and more peace of mind.
A small thing
repeated each day adds up over time to produce big results.
Just one
thing that could change your life.
(�
Rick Hanson, 2010)
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This newsletter comes from Rick Hanson, Ph.D., neuropsychologist, founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom, PsychologyToday.com contributor, and meditation teacher.
See Rick's workshops and lectures for therapists and the general public. | |
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My Offerings
� Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom - Written with a neurologist, Richard Mendius, M.D., and with a Foreword by Daniel Siegel, M.D. and a Preface by Jack Kornfield, Ph.D., it's full of effective ways to use your mind to change your brain to benefit your whole being.
� Stress-Proof Your Brain -Meditations to rewire neural pathways for stress relief and unconditional happiness.
� Meditations to Change Your Brain - Three CDs of powerful guided practices, plus practical suggestions, for personal transformation.
� Meditations for Happiness - Downloadable program (3 CDs worth) on gratitude, inner protectors, and coming home to happiness.
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What's the most important thing?
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The Practice
Keep your eyes on the prize.
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Why?
Have you heard this
saying?
The most important thing
is to remember the most important thing.
What are the most
important things to you? In your life as a whole? During a particular
interaction with someone? Right this minute?
The most important
things often get pushed to the sidelines. Urgent crowds out important. Modern
life is full of distracting clamor, from text messages and emails to window
displays in the mall. Other people tug at you with their priorities - which may
not be your own. And it can feel scary to admit what really matters to you,
tell others, and go after it for real: the fearful voices whisper in the back
of the mind: What if you fail?
But if you don't make a sanctuary for what is
important, it will get overrun by the bermuda grass of B and C priorities.
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How?
Know your purpose
in life. Write it down in one word, phrase, or sentence. Really. The first
time someone suggested I do this, I thought they were a little nuts. But then I
opened up to a kind of knowing of what matters most to me, and wrote it down.
It's OK if it changes, or if you don't get the words just right at first. You
can revise it later. Put it in positive terms and in the present tense; for
example, "I am loving" is better than "I will stop getting so angry with
people." Say it out loud and see how it feels. Find words you connect with.
Keep your purpose
close to your heart; it may feel sacred. If you speak of it, do so with
self-respect, not self-doubt. And then every day, as soon as you remember,
recommit to your life's purpose: rename it to yourself and give yourself over
to it again.
Clarify your
priorities. Identify the key aims of your life these days in a word or
phrase, such as: Health. Friendship. Finances. Learning new things. Career.
Marriage. Spirituality. Having fun. Parenting. Creative expression. Exploring
life. Service. Maybe break up one aim into two or three; for example,
"finances" could become "breaking even," "saving for retirement," and "becoming
affluent, even wealthy."
Then do a little exercise
as an experiment: rank these aims in order of importance, with no ties allowed.
If you could attain only one aim, which would it be? That's your highest
priority. Then take that one off the list, look at the aims that are left, and
ask the question again: If I could attain only one of these remaining aims,
which one would it be? Then repeat the
process until you're finished. Remember your purpose in life. As you go along,
you may want to revise the wording of the aims, or divide one aim into two or
three. When you're done, write a clean list of aims in priority order; if it
feels right, keep it where you can see it each day, maybe your eyes alone.
Routinely reflect on your true priorities; feel their weight; let your top
priorities draw you in their direction.
Put the big rocks
in the bucket first. Look at the priorities you just created, and then ask
yourself: Am I giving my time, attention, and energy in proportion to these
priorities? And sit with the answer for
awhile. Don't feel you need to change your life right away. There are usually
some conflicts between your priorities and your actions. Live with that
tension; don't push it away. Keep letting your true priorities speak to you.
What do they say?
It's normal to be
committed to big chunks of time doing things that are necessary but not high
priorities per se, such as commuting or
doing housework. Consider how you could weave one or more top priorities into
these relatively low priority periods. For example, listen to an inspiring talk
while you're on the bus, or pay mindful attention to the breath while doing
dishes.
Also see what
realistic changes you can gradually make in your time, in the people you see,
in what you give your attention, in how you spend your money. Build your
priorities into your daily schedule and monthly budget. For example, startyour day with a time of reflection, meditation, uplifting reading, yoga, art,
or exercise. Or when you pay the bills, write the first check to your own
savings account, even if it's only for a single dollar.
Stay focused on your
priorities in important interactions. Lots of interactions kind of bounce
around, and that's OK. But sometimes there's an important stake on the table,
like identifying a key deliverable at work, or saying what you really feel to
your partner, or pinning down a homework plan for your child. In these cases, it's
common for the conversation to go off on tangents, get hijacked emotionally, or
fall into a kitchen sink full of related issues - but then the main point doesn't
get resolved. Instead, keep reminding yourself of the result you'd like out of the interaction. It doesn't have
to be the whole magilla: sometimes it's best to focus on something concrete and
manageable that's attainable. Don't take the "bait" of inflammatory or
distracting statements by others; keep coming back to the main point; you can
deal with those other issues later - if ever. Obviously, be open to discovering
that there is something even more important to talk about than what you first
thought. But always be clear what your priorities are, even if they change.
Take care of
yourself. This is definitely an important thing - perhaps the most
fundamental of all. As they say on an airplane, "Put your own oxygen mask on
first." Or as the Buddha put it a long time ago: "If one going down into a
river, swollen and swiftly flowing, is carried away by the current - how can
one help others across?"
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