Whether we like it or not, today we are all in sales. Not true, you might say, I work in engineering, finance, customer service, or administration, everything but sales. Think again! We might not sell goods or services; however, we sell:

• Our ideas
• Our ideals
• Our plans
• Our company

on a daily basis. Some of our selling is done to friends or significant others in our lives we are very familiar with. For most of us the challenge starts selling to people we just have been introduced to. For me, setting ourselves up for success in these situations has three components:

• Our expectations and mindset
• Body language
• Listening

We get what we expect! Our paradigms and perceptions form our feelings and our feelings consequently shape our behavior. Case in point: if you expect to get nothing out of a meeting and all the people in attendance have no good grasp on the topic ... guess what you will be experiencing; a boring meeting where your ideas will not be valued and your experience will not count. Your body language will clearly show that you are not interested and people will avoid making contact with you. If you -on the other hand- set yourself up for success by "feeling outstanding", being curious and excited about whom you might meet and what they might be thinking about a topic, more likely than not your expectations will come true. Mix interesting discussions with people who have something to contribute, and time flies.

We need to remember that communication is mainly done through our body language. What we say and how we say is only 8% of the message. Our vocals and the body language are the main carrier of our message. Whether you are bored, afraid, angry or excited, it shows. The key to making a good first impression is making eye contact and giving a firm handshake shows confidence and interest. Too often I see people being introduced to somebody, barely looking up and then immediately starting to scan the room for a person more worthy of their attention. Case in point: a friend introduced me to a local banker at an event. As we were shaking hands, his eyes were glued to the TV screen on the other side of the room. The perception I formed of him was immediate and very negative. Consequently I blocked out his input in the following meeting and even if he would have come up with the most amazing and innovative concept possible, I would not have bought from him. By using an introduction showing genuine interest and curiosity to learn more about a person, your expectations will most likely be met. Consequently we will listen to their input and can build on their ideas. Selling of yourself and your ideas will be so much easier. The author Steven Covey always emphasized in his speeches that if we truly listen to a person first and understand where he or she is coming from, it is so much easier to be understood and to collaborate. Listening includes encouraging the other person to speak by asking open ended questions, looking for similarities and interests. And it is truly not about what you say. It is about what the other person hears and takes away.

And always remember ... we are naturally drawn to people with behavior patterns similar to ours. If we are open and look beyond those we might be surprised to learn fresh ideas and see different viewpoints and perhaps we can come up with truly better or new solutions.

Try it and let us know how it feels.