Quote of the Month: "You owe it to all of us to get on with what you're good at." -W.H. Auden

As usual, you have my permission to copy this handout and distribute it. If you want to use it in commercial activities (i.e., anything from which you make money), contact me for special permission.

Bill O'Hanlon, M.S., Possibilities, 223 N. Guadalupe #278, Santa Fe, NM 87501, PossiBill@aol.com, www.billohanlon.com

1.    Evoke rather than add from the outside
    a.    Ask questions
    b.    Investigate solutions, resources, competence, strengths, coping skills, pre-treatment change and abilities from the past and the present
    c.    Ask about future preferences and problem-free times
    d.    Be curious
    e.    Don't assume you know the truth or the right answers for or about the person
    f.    Be careful not to add your own theories, explanations and labels

2.    Draw on the past for resources and information
    a.    When investigating the past, the therapist is not searching for causes or trauma but rather for resources
    b.    Find out about any changes between sessions

3.    Draw on the future for direction
    a.    This approach is client-driven. Ask about their preferences for the future and problem-free or problem-reduced futures and be guided by those in therapy.

4.    Be respectful and acknowledging of clients
    a.    Note and comment on positive developments, productive change and positive coping.
    b.    Respectfully listen to people's pain, suffering and points of view without closing down possibilities for change.
    c.    Be compassionate about their suffering but never assume that they are damaged, sick, ill, crazy or incompetent.

Cool Research of the Month: I recently read the story of how researcher Carolyn Schwartz became interested in researching the positive benefits to the giver of contributing to others. She had designed a research study involving Multiple Sclerosis patients in which she was investigating whether being in an coping skills/educational group or receiving 15-minute monthly active listening phone calls from a person who also had M.S. was more effective in relieving symptoms. She met with the people who made the call regularly over the course of the year and couldn't help noticing that these people were doing much better than any of the experimental subjects. They reported 4 times the benefit in psychosocial areas (social interaction, alertness, emotional behavior, and communication), 3.5 times the benefits on coping ability) and 7.6 times the benefits on measures of well-being (depression, anxiety, satisfaction and happiness) when measured 2 years after the study began as compared with the coping skills participants (who also benefited from being in those educational groups.

This was a stunning and unexpected benefit. Schwartz changed her focus and began to study the positive effects of altruism on subjective and physical well-being and has conducted many studies that replicate and refine this original finding.

It seems appropriate in this season of giving to learn that unselfish giving can benefit the giver as well as the receiver.

Schwartz, Carolyn, "Altruism and Subjective Well-Being: Conceptual Model and Empirical Support," in Post, Stephen (Ed.). (2007). Altruism and Health: Perspectives from Empirical Research. NY: Oxford University Press.

P.S. My favorite charity is Heifer International (Link to Heifer International). Please consider a small ($20) or large gift to them this year.

Special offers: My problem can be to your benefit