Since so many of my coaching clients have resonated with a story that I've called "throw your sacred cow over the cliff," I 'm giving it a reprise here as a creative way to think about this new year if you break the rules!

Here is the story:
A wise man was walking with his student and conversing about the importance of visiting new places and meeting new people, and the knowledge one can gain from these experiences. As they are walking they came upon a very poor area, and passed a rundown house where they saw a couple with their three children.

All five were dressed with torn clothes and they had no shoes. The house was neglected and had a few pieces of very broken furniture. The wise man approached the father and inquired as to how he manged to survive in this impoverished area where there was no commerce or work opportunity. The man answered that the family owned a small cow that produced some milk; some of which they traded in the nearby town for other food, and the rest they used to make some cheese and yogurt for themselves. That is how they survived. The wise man thanked him for his honesty, looked around for a few minutes, and went on his way.

As they walked on the wise man told his student that he must go back, find the cow, and throw her over the abyss. The student was shocked and tried to convince his teacher that this would be a mistake, that it would surely destroy the poor family. The wise man listened and then walked away leaving his student behind. Being faithful, the student went back and fulfilled his teacher's wish, but the picture of the cow falling down the abyss kept torturing him.

The student was never able to completely forget the incident. A few years later he decided to go back and see if there was any way he could help the family, or possibly repay them for the suffering he had caused. As he approached the area he...

...Contine reading for the "rest of the story!"


Lea Belair is a partner in the Coaching Center of Vermont, Inc., a leader in the coaching profession, and author of Walk on Water: How to Make Change Easier.

Here we go again. Where's the list from last year? Might as well use that -- it's the same every year, right?

What are the top items on most people's lists? Lose that 20/40/60 pounds, get in shape, become a better person. Then there's be a better parent/spouse/friend, get up earlier, go to bed earlier, walk the dog more, be kinder, more generous, more loving, more patient, more grateful...

How about if, just for this year, we throw out the list? What if we stop trying to improve ourselves? What if we resolve only to accept ourselves just as we are?  What if we resolve to relax toward ourselves?

Well, the world would either come to an end or change radically for the better.

When we'd normally ream ourselves out for saying such-and-such, instead we'll notice where our bodies tighten up when we criticize ourselves, and then think, "I'm sure I had a good reason for saying that."

When we'd get on our own case about not keeping our desk/house/office/garage neat enough, instead we'll smile, remind ourselves that we're fine even if our house is untidy, take a walk, and then do a straightening task without all the judgment.

If we keep on ourselves to be more politically savvy at work, or to "get ahead," we'll find the tension inside ourselves when we think those thoughts and breathe, release the constriction, and look at the situation from the point of view of being happy with ourselves.

That extra weight we've been on our case for years to lose? We'll practice self-acceptance, self-love, repeat a mantra such as " I truly am fine, just as I am. I fact, I'm a wonderful, attractive person," and then, if we feel like it, we'll pay attention when we eat.

New beginnings are great. I'm going to resolve to make sure I have more space in myself, to stay centered, and to move through the year assuming I'm on the right track. So how about it? Want to join me? Now to go drink tea and sample my new library book in front of the fire.

Coach Sarah Gillen is the author of the upcoming book: Uncover Joy: Resolving trauma, pain, and self-defeating patterns, and creating the life you really want. (Due to be published in 2010). Sarah invites you to visit UncoverJoy.com to read excerpts from the book (in the "Pages" section) and share your comments.

Kudos to Amy Magyar  of Burton Snowboards! She is the recipient of the 2010 Pioneering Women Award for the Snowsports Industry! The Outdoor Industries Women's Coalition (OIWC) created the Pioneering Woman Award to honor women in the outdoor industry who have furthered the vision of the OIWC by demonstrating an outstanding commitment to mentoring female colleagues.  Here are some excerpts from letters nominating her for this award:

"Amy has devoted professional as well as personal time to such worthy endeavors as co-chairing the Burton Women's Mentoring Network, participating in Burton's Women's Leadership Initiative, encouraging coaching programs among her peers, and helping orchestrate events such as Burton's Women's Leadership Day held in March, 2008." 

Amy has played an instrumental role in Burton's Women's Leadership Initiative, aimed at professional development of management level women within Burton (along with her colleague and sister OIWC honoree (2009) Tammy Hetrick).

"Over the past two years, Amy Magyar helped develop, kick off and chair the Burton Women's Mentoring Network. Burton experienced many successes over this time period, advancing the mission of helping retain and grow women within Burton by supporting, facilitating and encouraging mentoring. Some achievements are easily measured: 26 women involved, with a 96% retention rate among mentees, and six mentee promotions. Some results less easily measured: increased job satisfaction, stronger community among women at Burton, positive relationships formed across departments.  Amy is one of the ten original Coaching Crew members.  She has effortlessly embodied the coaching philosophy and in doing so has given back to the Burton community immensely."

We at CCVT add our enthusiastic applause in recognition of Amy's coaching leadership. And we include a shout out to our own Lea Belair, and the Women's Leadership Initiative coaching program -- Congrats to you, too, Lea. Fantastic coaching in support of these two award-winning leaders! They've certainly made the LEAP!

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The Coaching Center is now approved to participate in VSAC's Non-Degree Grant Program.  The program provides funds for eligible individuals to enroll in courses that will improve their employability or that will lead to further study in a degree program. Contact Kitty Martin at CCVT for more information.