It is the beginning of a new school year. As parents we have hopes and goals for our children, be they gifted or otherwise, for the coming year. We hope they connect with other children. We hope they have a teacher who knows how to keep them stimulated and challenged; yet who also knows that they may need nurturing and support at times. Perhaps our goals are academic, perhaps social, and perhaps they are more related to our children's emotional health.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we also supported our children in identifying and working on their own goals and hopes for the year? What might that look like?

It all begins with listening. Throughout my training this past year to become a family coach, I was asked to think and write a lot. I wrote about my philosophy of family coaching, my signature story of how I got into family coaching, and my message, which is the driving force behind my passion for family coaching. The word that kept appearing in all of my writing is listening.  I realized that one powerful reason family coaching is such a successful process is because it focuses on listening.

What does it mean to really listen? One way to look at this is to look at what listening is not. Are any of the following true for you?

When a dancer is turning, centrifugal forces exert torque, throwing the dancer off balance. This is similar to how changes in your environment can throw you into a tailspin! To compensate for these forces, the physics of what the dancer does is to shift their center of gravity. In dance, this shift of the center of gravity is called dynamic (but not static) balance.

In dealing with a constantly changing world, when asked to make changes or adjust to changes, do you know how to find balance by finding your center of gravity? When I work with clients experiencing change I often ask them, "What will stay constant within the change?" It's a trick question really; because what you can count on to stay constant is inside you, not outside, where you see the change.

Places where you can look for your center of gravity are what I call the Core You and Essential You. The Core You is where your values live. No matter what changes, when you shift your center of gravity to the Core You, focusing on your values and acting from there, you automatically find your dynamic balance point. The Essential You is your essence, your spiritual being-ness. That Essential You never changes. It is the still point, like the hub of a wheel. Focusing on this hub will keep you from getting dizzy and frazzled during the changes, just as a dancer can keep their focus spin after spin.

There is a lovely description of this hub, described by T.S. Eliot in his poem The 4 Quartets:


The next time you feel out of balance, instead of looking to the situation to find your balance point...dance with the changes from your center of gravity. Shift your attention to what you know doesn't change and remember you are an essential part of the change!

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The Coaching Center is now approved to participate in VSAC's Non-Degree Grant Program.  The program provides funds for eligible individuals to enroll in courses that will improve their employability or that will lead to further study in a degree program. Contact Kitty Martin at CCVT for more information.

The Vital Education division of the Coaching Center will have a booth presence at the Vermont NEA Educators' Convention, October 21- 23, at the Champlain Expo Center!

And, look for CCVT's Vital Business at the SHRM Conference (Society for Human Resource Management), October 28-29.

Coach Kim DuBrul has stepped up to a 100 Day Challenge, "My challenge is to post something on my blog everyday for the next 100 days in a row!" And Kim asks you "What are you willing to work on for 100 days that could sharpen your skills, change your life, help you reach a goal, or get control of in your life?" I'm inspired! Are you?