As Father's Day approaches this month, we recognize the painful battle that so many of the former offenders we serve now fight: to connect and reconnect with their children. According to a US Census survey, between 61% and 68% of incarcerated men are fathers. According to one Bureau of Justice Statistics report (Incarcerated Parents and Their Children), more than half of all male inmates (55% in state facilities and 63% in federal facilities) were parents with children under the age of eighteen. Upon release, these fathers join the ranks of the working poor, struggling to meet the child support obligations and arrears built up during incarceration -- all in an economy where unemployment hovers at 10%. The systemic and economic barriers facing these Dads compound their struggle to rebuild relationships with their kids, and to try to give them a better future, and better opportunities than they themselves had growing up.

A LONG JOURNEY BACK

For any ex-offender given an opportunity, the path to fatherhood is often the most arduous leg of any successful transition journey.  Long after the acts which took their fathers to prison, the children of incarcerated men continue to suffer from events not of their making. From traumatic visits to various facility visiting rooms (for the men fortunate enough to get visits), to birthdays, holidays and special events missed, to the lies children feel like they have to tell to cover up for a parent who is never around, the pain inflicted is continual and ever-evolving. It's considered a blessing when they are too young to know what's going on...when everything goes wrong. When it comes to children, it's an example of poor decisions "that keep on giving".

Significant barriers often remain in place even after walls, bars and fences are no longer in play. Mothers, grandparents or the other loved ones who remained to care for and raise these children, continue to be protective. Hence, many men are, understandably, not exactly welcomed back with open arms. This is especially true if they have been repeat offenders or have violated parole or probation and been returned to custody on other occasions in the past. While caregivers decide whether or not to "trust them in" (again), those serious about the responsibilities of fatherhood are busying themselves bettering themselves.

J.S. is just such a man. The father of twin daughters (5 ½ years old), returning from prison after most of their lives "away", was one of the more fortunate ones. His children's mother was open to his having contact with the girls. J had done a number of significant things to change his life while incarcerated. The most important of these was committing to recovering from substance addiction and building a life of sobriety. He was grateful for and patient with the initial "supervised visits" he was allowed (with his own mother in attendance). He continued to work, attend college and meet all of the many requirements of community corrections living at the halfway house. As the communication continued (and improved) between the parents, and J continued to "show and prove", his access to his daughters increased. "Everything I want for my children, I feel, I need to obtain for myself", says J. "I want them to stay away from drugs, go to college, and meet their potential. I have to do the same things. Daddy doesn't just say 'Go to college'; he is in college."

Actually, sporting a 4.0 GPA this semester, J is doing what he says quite well. Acknowledging he is still a work in progress refuels the desire to stay proactive in his change process. "The most painful part of my prison experience was watching my girls grow up...in pictures." He no longer considers that an acceptable option. "Any opportunity I get to spend time with them I take advantage of." Now on parole and living on his own, J's daughters stay with him for days at a time. Recently, while awaiting the hour he was scheduled to pick them up, he got a call from their Mom. She asked if he could come a few hours early because "They're dressed already and bugging me about going." J couldn't have been happier to oblige them.

J has said that his children enhance his commitment to 'right living'. A big part of that living is conveyed in his pledge to give these two beautiful girls "anything they need, some of what they want, and all of me they can handle." With a mission statement like that he stands a great chance of really doing a good job at this father thing.

Cody was just one of several thousand people who found their way to Turnabout Inc. in 2009.  After 6 ½ years of incarceration his release on May 13^th of that year marked the beginning a journey Cody only knew would "be real different". At age 30 he wanted this to be the last time he would have to start over.  He went through the normal orientation process and was later accepted to the Colorado Department of Labor and Employment's Stop The Revolving Door Program (SRD), one of Turnabout's grant funded programs.