Perspective taking is an important component of a successful conversation. As a good communicator it's our responsibility to recognize that not everyone thinks the same way we do. Each person has their own set of feelings, emotions and interests. Before we initiate a conversation we need to think about the other person's knowledge, experience and needs. How much information do I need to give them? Is the topic familiar to the other person? Is it something they might be interested in? Is this something that might have happened to them? Is it something they would know about?

We need to read the body language and facial expression of the people we are speaking to.  How can we tell if they are interested in what I'm saying? Are they listening to me or did they tune out?

A conversation isn't one-sided. It isn't a monologue. A conversation is about turn-taking. We need to monitor how much we are talking. Am I giving too much information? Am I taking over the conversation? Am I giving the other person a chance to comment and ask questions?

Being a good conversationalist and having a successful interaction is not just about talking it's about being a responsible and active speaker and listener.

Tips and Tools   

Concept of the Month: Being a good listener   

Listening is more than hearing what the speaker is saying. A good listener lets the speaker know that they hear what is being said and that they are thinking about it. They do this by looking at the speaker, nodding their head and making 'listening' comments (Oh, Uh Huh, Really etc).

Activity: Word/Topic Association 

A conversation is a series of related comments and questions. You can practice this skill by playing word or topic association. Choose a word or topic i.e. apples. The first person says something about the topic/word. The next person adds a comment or word that is related to the previous statement. For example:

A: I like to eat apples.

B: Apples come in many colors.

A: Red apples are sweet.

B: Apple pies are sweet.

A: I like ice cream on my apple pie.

See how long you can keep the interaction going.