An interaction doesn't start with words. When we walk into a room we don't immediately start speaking. An interaction starts with our eyes. The first thing we do is to take in the environment or context. The setting we are in has an impact on how we interpret non-verbal cues as we try to figure out what another person is thinking and feeling. If we're on the playground and we see someone crying we might think they were injured. If we see someone crying at a wedding, we think that the tears are happy ones.

We look at the people in the setting. We scan the room to determine whether or not we know anyone. We try to take the perspective of the people in the room. We read the body language. We read the facial expression. We figure to figure out who looks friendly enough to talk to, who is already involved in a conversation, and who looks like they prefer to be left alone. 

We do this in an instant. Then we speak. But even as we speak we continue to read the non-verbal cues and compare them to the words we hear and the voice that is speaking. Do the words match the tone of voice? Do the body language and facial expression match the words? Is the person smiling when they say 'I like your shoes?' or are they rolling their eyes and smirking as they say it? How do you know which is the truth? How do you know which to 'listen to' when there's a mismatch between the verbal and non-verbal language. When the messages don't seem to be consistent it should set off an internal alarm. It should make us stop and think about what was said and how we should respond.  

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Concept of the Month: Non-verbal Language 

Non-verbal communication includes facial expression, body language, gestures, tone of voice, signs and use of space. Non-verbal communication cues you into what another person is thinking. The best communicators are aware of the emotions and thoughts that are communicated non-verbally.  

Activity #1:  

You need to use pictures for this activity. The pictures can come from a variety of sources i.e. family photos, books, magazines. Have your child look at the picture and ask the following questions:

- What are the people feeling?

- How do you know what they are feeling?

- How do people show what they are feeling by their facial expression, body language etc..

- Make a smart guess as to what the people are thinking based on what they are looking at.

- What do you think the person might say?

- What tone of voice will they use?

Activity #2:

Explore how quickly feelings and emotions have to be determined by looking at the context or situation. While watching a movie or TV show, discuss whether or not the character's body language, facial expression, tone of voice etc.. match the situation.

For example, If the character is laughing while other people are yelling at her, how do you think the character feels? Do you think she's really happy (she's laughing) or is she feeling differently?

Activity #3:

When you go to the store, a restaurant etc... watch people's body language and facial expression. Can you figure out what they are thinking and feeling just by watching them.