Many of our students say that they aren't interested in making friends. They say that they "don't care". The reality is that this is probably not true.  It is true that some people prefer small groups or one-to-one interaction. Some students say they don't want friends because they've shut down.  They've given up trying because they haven't been successful at making friends.

However, thinking socially isn't primarily about making friends. It's about what we need to do to function in society.  Thinking about others happens whether we want it to or not. It's how we figure out things about the people around us. It's how we get along with our family, how we get along with co-workers, how we keep ourselves safe. Our world is filled with people. Whether we are driving a car, walking down the street, ordering food in a restaurant, or getting into an elevator - we are surrounded by people at all times. We need to show our students why what we are teaching is important and how it relates to the outside world. We are always sharing space with someone else. This is why we need to care.

Our appearance and our actions have an impact on the people around us. Our first impression of people is based upon someone's appearance and behavior. What is their facial expression telling us? What is their body language telling us? Are they acting/behaving in an unexpected manner? No one wants to be near someone who smells or looks dirty. No one wants to talk to someone who looks unfriendly. No one wants to be around someone whose behavior is odd or unexpected.

It's not about liking or disliking someone. Our students need to understand that we make an impression on those around us even when we aren't directly speaking to them.  We don't always remember what others say, but we do remember their actions and how they made us feel. Whether it's the playground, classroom or workplace we need to think about the people around us. What are they thinking? What are they going to do? Are they behaving in a way that's expected for the particular situation? Are they doing something that's making me feel uncomfortable?

Whether or not our children care about what other people think of them, they need to be able to predict other people's actions and intentions if for no other reason than to keep safe.

Tips and Tools 

Concept of the Month: Making Impressions

We make an impression on someone by how we look (our appearance), what we say, and what we do (our actions).

Activity #1:

Make a chart or discuss how we make an impression on someone. What are the factors that we need to consider.

Appearance:  clothing, hygiene, hair style

Actions:  Facial expression, eye contact, gestures, posture

Words:  the words you use, your tone of voice

Activity #2:

When you're out to dinner or shopping at the mall notice the people around you. What are they wearing? What are they doing? What are they saying? What's the tone of the voice? What impression do you get based on your observations. Are they having a good time? Predict where you think they are going next. You can also do this by looking at pictures in magazines or books.