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July, 2010
Welcome to s2s Insights!
Welcome to the Steps
to Socialization newsletter
s2s Insights. Each month 'Social Thoughts' contains a theme article on a relevant social topic. Informative articles or books related to the theme can be found in 'News and Reviews'. The 'Tips and Tools' section contains social thinking tips and activities. 'In the Neighborhood' covers
related events and programs.
With the new school year about to begin this month's issue discusses how we make friends.
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Social Thoughts
Social behavior is like an onion - there are many layers
from 'superficial to serious'. The
surface layer or superficial part is how we begin to make friends and form
relationships with people outside the family. It is about behaving in a way that is expected in order to share
space with people and get along in society.
In order for people to get to know the real you, you have to
"pass" the superficial test. This is where people check each other out to
make sure they have things in common, that they won't be embarrassed by each other's
actions, that they feel comfortable
with each other and like each other enough to hang out together. We each have our own superficial test.
The way we expect others to behave, or pass our
superficial test, changes as we get older. Kindergartners might only have one
thing on their superficial test: Do you want to play with me? If the other child says yes, they go off
and play together. As we get older
the superficial test might change to, "Do you like to play baseball or go
skateboarding? Do you go to the
same school? Do you live in my neighborhood? Do you dress the way I do? And at 18 it might be based on common ideas or beliefs
rather than the same hobbies.
Along with our superficial test changing, the expectations for our
behavior also change. In
Kindergarten it is expected that we will need a lot of help with our class work
and organization. By middle school we are expected to be more independent. By the time we are ready to leave high
school we are expected to have the skills needed to succeed in college or get a
job.
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Tips and Tools
Concept
of the Month: People Files
People files are the information we store in our
brain about the people we know. It's as if we wrote each piece of information on an index card and filed it away. It includes our memories about the person both
good and bad. It includes their interests, likes and dislikes, their beliefs
and ideas. Using the information in our 'people files' helps us to interpret people's behavior and intentions as well as make decisions about how we will
interact with them.
Activity #1:
Making a family 'people file'
Have your child come up with a list of questions to help them find out
about their family and friends.
These questions should range from simple to complex depending on the
age of your child. For example,
What do you like to eat? What TV show do you like? vs. If you could have
any job what would it be? Where would you like to vacation?
Have them interview each family member/friend and write
down the information for the 'file'. Each person gets their own file page. The next
step would be to have the child use this information appropriately. For
example, if they know that their father likes the Yankees and the game is on TV,
they could say, " Hey Dad the Yankees are on TV. Are you watching? What's happening in the game?"
Activity #2:
Play the game "Say Anything" (with a
twist)
1. One person draws a 'question card' and reads one of the questions on
the card out loud.
2. Everyone else writes down their answer on the 'say anything' board.
3. Mix up the answers.
4. The questioner has to figure out who each answer belongs to by using their 'people files'.
You can also do this by making up a list of your own questions ,
choosing one question from the list and writing the answers on index cards. Questions might include: What are you most afraid of? Where would you like to travel ? What
would you want most for your birthday? What technology would be the hardest to
live without?
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See you next month! In the meantime, please visit us on the web and read our blog.
Evelyn
and Lisa |
