Welcome to s2s Insights!
Welcome to the Steps
to Socialization newsletter
s2s Insights. Each month 'Social Thoughts' contains a theme article on a relevant social topic. Informative articles or books related to the theme can be found in 'News and Reviews'. The 'Tips and Tools' section contains social thinking tips and activities. 'In the Neighborhood' covers
related events and programs.
Is it a little problem, a Big Problem or a CATASTROPHE? Read this month's article to learn how to figure out how big a problem is and how to respond appropriately.
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Social Thoughts
little problem/Big Problem /CATASTROPHE. We all have problems. Learning to manage problems is the key
to solving them. Problems come in
different sizes. Our students with social thinking challenges don't see the
difference between a small problem and a big problem. They don't realize that most
problems are small. They react the same way whether their pencil has lost its
eraser or their brother crashed the family car. They need to learn how to
regulate their emotions and reactions based on the size of the problem.
We use a 10-point scale to
illustrate the size of the problem. (Some
people use a 5 point scale.) A 10 on the scale would be a catastrophe
such as the house burning, a family member being seriously ill or hurt, or a
car accident. Crying would be an expected and acceptable reaction to any of
these situations. Failing a test might be a 5 on the scale. Being visibly upset
and talking about it is understandable however throwing a temper tantrum or
yelling at the teacher would not be an acceptable response. Losing your
favorite pencil would only be a 1. You might be upset or disappointed that you
no longer have the pencil, but you brush it off, get over it quickly and move
on to something else.
We need to familiarize children with the idea that problems
come in different sizes. They do not intuitively know this. Draw a 10-point
scale to visually illustrate the concept. You can draw 10 boxes of increasing
size or a line with the numbers 1 through 10 on it. Give examples of problems
and have the child identify if they are little, big or catastrophes and place
them on the scale. Discuss what emotion is appropriate for each level. Big
problems have big emotional responses of longer duration i.e. crying several
times, being anxious. Smaller problems cause a small reaction that doesn't last
very long i.e. shaking your head or looking annoyed, muttering under your
breath.
This concept is something
that takes time to learn. You will need to have ongoing discussions about it.
This is the beginning of the process and sets up the foundation for learning
how to deal with problems and how to react in an appropriate manner.
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Tips and Tools
Concept
of the Month: Expected vs. Unexpected Behavior
Expected behaviors are
those behaviors that make the people around you feel comfortable and safe. Unexpected
behaviors make others feel awkward, 'weirded out' and uncomfortable. Different
situations or settings call for different behaviors. We're not expected to
'act' the same way in the library as we do playing outside. When we behave in
an unexpected way people don't want to be around us and then we don't feel good. We want to keep doing the things that make others want to be with us
because ultimately this makes everyone happy.
Activity: Watch a movie or TV show
While you're watching a TV show or movie with your child
point out when a character is behaving in an expected way and how the other
characters reacted. Now point out when someone
is acting in an unexpected way and what reaction they get. Have your child do the same thing, pointing
out expected and unexpected behaviors. Discuss the
consequences for both types of behavior with your child.
Activity: Play the Unexpected/Expected Game
The goal of this game is two-fold; to recognize when someone
behaves or says something unexpected and when they do something that's expected. You
will need a stack of index cards.
On 5 cards write 'expected' and on another 5
cards write 'unexpected'. You
will also need to write down some 'situations' on other cards i.e. Mom promised
to take you for ice cream and then had to change the plans. Someone tells a bad
joke in class. Your friend calls and cancels plans. You don't win the game. Your
favorite sweatshirt is in the wash. Your friend calls to make plans with you. You may want to use situations that your child has encountered that have been
problematic.
Place the 2 card piles face down on the table. Each person
chooses a card from the 'expected/unexpected' pile. Turn over a situation card. Each person takes
a turn saying something unexpected or expected about the situation based on which
card they chose. The others in the group have to guess whether the comment is 'expected'
or 'unexpected'. You can make it fun by making silly, unexpected comments. You can also discuss alternative ideas.
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See you next month! In the meantime, please visit us on the web and read our blog.
Evelyn
and Lisa |
