To Talk or Not to Talk -That Is the Question!
"I want to smoke 'em out!" That's how one CEO phrased his intent upon entering into an extensive contract for team-building and strategic planning. The outcomes were most welcomed and measurable: long over-due re-organization, a comprehensive plan for future development, and dramatically increased revenues. Did the CEO "smoke 'em out"? Yes and no!
No! He did not drive out his managers and employees, from "under cover", shielding themselves from blame and demands. Yes! He did drive them "to the table" where he urged them to say what they were really thinking and feeling, not to say what they thought he wanted to hear. He wanted to "smoke out" their critical information, creative ideas and strategic insights. Talking to one another as they had never done before, they launched a fresh start for their company.
How did these managers and employees begin to "talk up"? Exploring their assumptions accounted partly for the change. Not having any experience in their industry, I asked for clarification about terms they used, only to find out that they themselves weren't clear about their business vocabulary. They shifted their understanding and perspective when they talked about their assumptions attached to common terms and practices. They had made assumptions about one another, as well. Unlocking assumptions about their personality styles, roles, responsibilities and values opened new possibilities for leadership, collaboration, and strategic thinking.
In Fearless Conversations the first step often is making it "OK" to talk. Visioning retreats can be a typical example. A decision is made to bring people together for "visioning"; anxiety is high. For a myriad of reasons, people are stuck under assumptions that block their ability to talk with one another about critical topics and issues. They are no longer on the same page. In such situations, there are two practices I use to help people get talking.
One practice is to have the participants, formally or informally, name and commit to agreements that will support their conversation. We all have habits that can undermine the intentions of bringing people together in meetings of any kind. By the same token, we all know what behaviors contribute to satisfying meeting flow and outcomes. The agreements insure that the best and most productive behaviors carry the energy of the conversation. It is a deceptively simple process to offer the opportunity for everyone to request the supports that will enable them to talk. Setting up these agreements takes very little time and feels like an immediate "sigh of relief", usually accompanied by laughter and good humor.
A second practice is to start with talking about what is working. Problems - we always have with us and they need to be solved; but to start with problem-solving raises up people's defenses and right-and-wrong thinking. This Appreciative Inquiry (AI) approach allows a group to draw on resources that bring out the best in everyone. Appreciation is aligned with gratitude. In their new book Active Hope, Joanna Macy and Chris Johnstone cite research on the effects of gratitude in individuals and in organizations: "the results are so striking that if a medication were invented with similar benefits, we'd probably see it described as a new wonder drug." Like a wonder drug or not, gratitude and appreciation do boost trust, goodwill and cooperation, making it easier to talk.
Talking to one another sometimes does become too difficult; but saying nothing does nothing. To talk or not to talk - that is one of our most basic choices - everyday - in our places of business, our communities and our relationships. Talking can work wonders!
