Greetings!
A warm welcome to this our fourth Newsletter of the year. I hope it finds you well and refreshed after the Easter break. Over the last month I've been delivering a number of training sessions on promoting wellbeing as an organisation, and managing stress at the individual level and as a manager. I've also been updating a stress policy for a central government department, and incorporating into it the latest research and guidance on managing stress as an organisation. This Newsletter includes elements touching on all of these areas. I hope that you find something of interest here that you'll be able to use personally and/or for your organisation. Please let me know if you have any questions you'd like to ask about the enclosed, or indeed if there's something you'd like to see covered in future newsletters. I welcome your feedback. Happy reading Marc |
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Turning The Vicious Into The Virtuous
 Stress tends to affect us in four main response areas:
Physically (tiredness; backache; palpitations; skin irritation etc.)
Mentally (worrying; over-sensitivity; de-motivation; indecision etc.)
Emotionally (cynicism; crying easily; feeling tense; alienation; over-sensitivity; low self-esteem etc)
Behaviourally (unsociability; restlessness; disturbed sleep; change in appetite etc) We can experience symptoms in one or more of these areas at any one time. We've looked before at how, whilst the source of the stress is important, we can't always deal with or change the source of the stress, and so what we're most interested in are the symptoms, the effect they are having, and what we need to do to alleviate the symptoms. (It may well be that because we alleviate the symptoms, this will help with the source of the stress too). You may recognise some of the symptoms above, and/or how you first notice that you're stressed because you experience a Physical response, or a Mental response or whatever. What can happen with the stress response is that it becomes a vicious cycle, i.e. I worry about something (Mental), I feel low (Emotional), I don't sleep well (Behaviour) and my immune system suffers (Physical) and round and round it goes, as per the diagram below.
In the same way, if my confidence takes a knock, I don't feel so good about myself, so I can become unsociable, reject contact and interaction with others, which can lead to my feeling bad about myself, which affects my confidence, and on it goes. What we're exploring here is how the four response areas are inter-related. It follows that my thinking affects how I feel, how I feel affects how I think, which affects my behaviour and so on. The positive aspect of this is clearly that we can turn this vicious cycle into a virtuous cycle by improving just one of the response areas, since they are inter-related. If we're getting these responses now and then, it's no big deal maybe, but if you feel they are getting in the way of your being effective at work, at home, in life generally, which of the areas can you address first? Perhaps it's to do with lifestyle, addressing your fitness levels and looking after yourself? Or maybe it's to do with how you think about and deal with things - don't forget that for the most part how I think will drive how I feel, and maybe I can just make a slight adjustment or improvement in this area. As above, whichever area you choose, improvements will occur in all the areas. |
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How Good A Stress Manager Are You?
We've looked in previous newsletters at the Health and Safety Executive (HSE) Management Standards approach to managing work-related stress, but what are the behaviours and skills required of our managers to facilitate this approach, so that they can promote wellbeing and prevent stress? Supported by the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development, the HSE and Investors in People, a team of occupational psychologists have produced a framework of management competencies and sub-competencies, with examples of management behaviours that are indicative of and reflective of these competencies. They provide a standard and benchmark for us to aim for and assess ourselves against, and help us to identify areas for development. The competencies are as follows:
The HSE have produced a questionnaire so that our managers can assess their level of competence as stress managers, and reflect on their own behaviour and management style. It also provides tips and ideas on improving effectiveness through how they behave and deal with management issues at work. You can access a copy of the questionnaire, in print-off format or electronically, via the Line Manager Behaviours page on our website. |
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Assertiveness
The link between a lack of assertiveness and stress is not difficult to see. Not asserting ourselves can lead to stress - we don't express ourselves, don't communicate to others our likes and dislikes, and, if we're passive, put others before ourselves, and denigrate our opinions and the value of our contributions. Problems can occur because others don't know what it is we like and dislike, because we don't tell them, for fear of upsetting them, or 'causing trouble'. Even worse, if we've spent our lives putting others first, and burying our own preferences, we can end up not knowing ourselves what our real values, opinions, likes and dislikes are. Assertiveness is about relationships, and if we don't express ourselves as we would want to, it can lead to relationships we're not happy with, at home, at work, wherever. Learning how to be more assertive won't change other people. However, it's likely that assertive behaviour on our part may well change the way that others behave towards us. The purpose of assertiveness therefore is to express ourselves, our feelings, emotions and opinions, and achieve our goals. It's not about 'getting what I want', even though I'm more likely to achieve just that if I am assertive. It's more about stating my preference, who I am and what I think. Having done that, I can be satisfied, whether my needs are met or not, that people know where I stand and who I am, and I know that too. In this way, we maximise the chances of people behaving towards us in a way we find acceptable and appropriate. Being assertive will also help if we have issues relating to self-confidence and self-esteem, and if we want to build or re-build ourselves in these areas, being assertive is a good start.
In the organisational context, if we're not assertive it can lead to us taking on too much work, feeling put-upon, and again if we don't feel able to express ourselves, we are unlikely to be able to contribute and perform as fully as we would like. That's not good for us or for the business. A healthy environment at work will be one where staff do feel able to say 'no' when it's appropriate, in a constructive manner, and perhaps offer an alternative course of action. That's not always possible I know with certain managers/in certain organisations, but they will be the poorer for it, and staff won't perform and the organisation won't perform as effectively as it could and should. Click on the link for details of our training in Assertiveness Skills. |
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That's all for this month. Please get in touch if you'd like a word about any of the above, or to discuss how we can support you/your organisation. |
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Best wishes,
Marc Kirby
Stress Management Plus |
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Marc Kirby
Director
Stress Management Plus
Top Stress Tips
ACT FIRST, ASK QUESTIONS LATER!
Here it's about encouraging you to get on with those things you've been meaning to attend to but you haven't had the time/its not exactly the right time and you're waiting for the right moment/you'll do it later...............you're procrastinating. How long are you going to wait to make that change? I don't want to say 'no pain no gain' here, but there is bound to be a reason you can find for not getting on with it, one of which may well include discomfort or the unknown or whatever. You are the one who'll decide what's best for you, but if you do need to make changes for your own good, don't wait til its too late, and remember that MOTIVATION FOLLOWS ACTION, not the other way around - you need to act first, and the motivation will follow. Don't wait to get the motivation to get on with things/change or whatever, as the motivation may never come!!!
A STAT OR TWO
*11,400,000
Number of working days lost in Britain in 2008/2009:self-reported stress/anxiety/depression
*415,000
Number of individuals in Britain in 08/09 who believed they were experiencing work-related stress at a level that was making them ill
(*Labour Force Survey)
POSING QUESTIONS THAT HAVE NO ANSWERS
This is an example of 'unhelpful thinking' where we go over things that have happened, and ask ourselves why this happened/why that happened and 'Why me?' etc.
It's fine, isn't it, if we run things through in our heads, work things out, and resolve to take a particular course of action as a result. But when we find ourselves asking the 'Why' question, over something that's gone and we can't do anything about, it can be really unhelpful. This way of thinking can often be coupled with 'I should have done this', 'I should have said that' etc. Clearly what we need to be able to do is let go of those things we have no control over, and move on. (Yes, I know that's easier said than done!) As with all 'thinking errors', I can look to do something about it, if I can identify and recognise that I'm doing it. The irony here is that we can spend time endlessly going over things in our minds, in an attempt to work it out, find the answer etc, when in fact posing the question 'Why' is the problem, not the solution. Try and identify it if you do find yourself posing questions that have no answers - it's the first step to doing something about it.
Find out more about our Stress Training
STRESS AND WELLBEING IN THE NEWS
We have a 'Newsbox' on our website listing the latest news items about stress and wellbeing for the individual and organisation. Click here to take a look. |
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