HaMakom - The Place

My father's death has been a terrible chapter in my life. The last few weeks I have felt verbally paralyzed and emotionally numb. It is as if I am walking around in someone else's body. I do not feel comfortable. I do not feel whole. I suppose that makes sense since a core part of my being; half the source of who I am in the flesh and so much of who I am as a person, has physically left this world. I know time will help heal my wound into a scar. The funny thing about time though, is it never seems to move at the pace we want it to.  

Over the past weeks, many have offered our family the traditional words of consolation; HaMakom Yinachem Etchem Betoch Sha'ar Avlei Zion VeYerushalayim. May God comfort you amongst all mourners of Zion and Jerusalem. Of the many synonyms for God, the one that is used in consoling the bereaved is HaMakom - which translates literally to The PLACE. That prescriptive line has felt right to me during this uncertain time. In ways that I cannot articulate, this place, our Temple, has been a source of immense consolation through my unmitigated pain. Shabbat goers with hugs, people recalling a story or a memory of my father or sharing support with other mourners at our daily minyan have all underscored the incalculable dividend being a part of a community offers our shareholders.  It is a positive feeling that is beyond description.

Judaism teaches that it is inappropriate to say 'thank you' to those that offer consolation and support to help a family in mourning. The reason behind that law is because the mourner should not be preoccupied with thoughts of reciprocating the kindness shown to her/him which could cause anxiety and take away from their grief. Furthermore, if we all offer support to the bereaved, we know that the reciprocity will be shown upon us when we are in our time of need.

Since such is the custom, I will not thank this congregation for its outpouring of support and its love from near and far, that has been palpable and heartfelt. But, I will tell you how acutely blessed I feel  today and always, to be your rabbi and even more importantly, to be a member of this kehilla kedosha, this holy community. I am proud to raise my children with your children and to be a small part of this place that makes the world holier and our lives better.

Dori, the kids and I are off to Israel for a few weeks. My fellowship at the Shalom Hartman Institute in Jerusalem is continuing and I am looking forward to some study and recharging my spiritual, physical and emotional batteries. So, I am signing off on my regular e-mail correspondence until the end of summer. You will be in my thoughts and prayers and I look forward to reconnecting as the season winds down.

Until then, I hope to see you at our daily minyan, at Shabbat services and around town. I wish you a summer of rest, peace, health and of feeling the beautiful blessing of being a part of our kehilla kedosha, our holy community.

Shabbat Shalom.

Rabbi David-Seth Kirshner