Over the past months there have been small bubbles rising to the surface of what seems to be an imminent civil war of words and ideologies within the Zionist world. Jeffrey Wiesenfeld, a trustee of City University of New York, (CUNY) originally tried to block Tony Kushner, the award winning playwright, from receiving an honorary degree from the John Jay College. Wiesenfeld's rationale was that Kushner had claimed Israel was engaged in "ethnic cleansing" and Wiesenfeld likened it to a blood libel. 

In the midst of this issue, Rabbi Daniel Gordis wrote a strong editorial where he targeted left leaning rabbinical students for favoring sympathy to Palestinians and regularly scolding the Israeli leadership for their treatment of the Palestinian people. Gordis concluded that rabbinical students that could not defend and support the state of Israel and its right to exist in security, have little place studying to be religious leaders in Israel or the diaspora, (Kirshner paraphrasing Gordis). He was responded to forcefully by the dean of the JTS rabbinical school, Daniel Nevins, where he detailed the pride he feels and the tension that is evident when students love Israel but also feel the suffering of another. Nevins continued that these students walk a tight rope of emotions and feelings and that he is proud to have students that can pray in Israel and celebrate with Israelis and be sensitive to the dreams and plights of another people.

Shortly after, Rabbi Gordis, a center-right and outspoken advocate for Israel, was invited to speak to a delegation of J-street supporters that were visiting Israel. J-Street is a political lobby that leans far left and at times, advocates for particular liberal pressures put on the Israeli state, even when not desired by the state's leadership or the US government. At said meeting, Gordis slammed J-street and its leaders for being "immoral" as to suggest that those who do not want to move borders or have similar views as they in some way desire peace less.

In each of these cases there are two camps; both Jewish but, each on the opposite side of the spectrum for Israel support.

I have been watching these debates unfold over the past months with much wonder and curiosity. It got me thinking about a lesson I learned from my teacher and colleague, Rabbi David Wolpe, where he told of an encounter he watched on the TV show, The Simpsons. Marge was hosting Thanksgiving dinner. Her mother walked in the front door and said to her daughter in her demeaning and raspy tone, " I just want you to know, you did nothing right today."

Family can be critical. When they are, we take it differently than the average Joe on the street because they are our flesh and blood. Everyone out there, has a Dutch uncle; the person that tells us things like they are, even though we often don't want to hear them. The reason why we listen is because a Dutch uncle is still an uncle. He is family. And while what is being said might hurt, sting or be less than pleasing to the palate or ear drum, it comes from family and we know that means it comes with love.

If I were to play the role of Solomon in the feuds between Kushner and Wisenfeld, Gordis and Nevins or J-street and the right wing, I would suggest that the tension exists in more than the words and rhetoric. It exists because the critique that is being lodged sounds like it is coming from the average Joe on the street and not our Uncle from Europe. Who offers our feedback and how it is offered all matters. If requested to play referee for the match between both sides, I  would begin by making sure each party feels like their vantage is expressed with appreciation and love for the other and the State of Israel as a whole, the very unspoken denominator of feedback from one's Dutch uncle.

There is no better example than the frustration and upset that is lodged by family members but not articulated appropriately than in this week's Torah portion of Korach. This rebellious and unsettled leader and cousin to Moses and Aaron, tries to topple the system because his analysis and criticisms were not couched in love, respect and understanding. As trite as that sounds, it matters. As a result, he is swallowed by the earth for punishment.

One who offers feedback and assessment is as important as the manner in which it is offered. I posit that if the feedback from the right or the left was positioned with more statements of love and respect and mutual appreciation, the delta between the two sides might be more narrow than the gap that is causing a deep divide today.

Shabbat Shalom.

Rabbi David-Seth KIrshner