Benedictine Sisters of St. Mary Monastery, Rock Island, Illinois
March 2011
Steps
Discerning your path in life
Benedictine Sisters at prayer

Jackie Walsh, a 2nd-year novice with the Benedictine Sisters of St. Mary Monastery, Rock Island, Ill., sings morning prayers, or Lauds, with the community.

 

 

The Counter-Cultural and Decidedly Un-Hollywood Life of Benedictine Sisters   


Celibate practice has allowed (Benedictine Sisters) to incarnate hospitality in the deepest sense. In them, the constraints of celibacy have somehow been transformed into an openness that attracts people of all ages, all social classes. They exude a sense of freedom. Kathleen Norris, The Cloister Walk

Celibacy* has always been an elephant in the room for those who contemplate religious life ... especially today. With Hollywood images glamorizing sex and immodesty on billboards, at the movies and in store after store at the mall, you run the risk of looking like a dull prude for buttoning up, let alone entering a celibate religious community.

Yet chaste celibacy or celibate chastity (the practice of committing whole-heartedly to refraining from sexual relationships) is truly a gift, to oneself (if one is called) and to the whole world. It offers an intimacy that is sometimes joyful and often profound. It offers a freedom to love and receive love that is extraordinary. It offers peace. But it also offers, as the following article by Jackie Walsh - a novice in her second year with the Benedictine Sisters of St. Mary Monastery - points out, sometimes difficult challenges.

Many in today's society feel sexually intimate relationships are a normal part of life. They think priests and religious give up a great deal by not marrying and refraining from sexual relationships. Some think such a lifestyle isn't normal; it's counter-cultural!   

 

Celibate chastity is a way of life, relational in nature, and a much deeper commitment than merely remaining single and abstaining from sexual intercourse. 


As religious, we do not marry as secular society does, but we do become the brides of Christ, with God as our focus and our religious community as family. In addition to obedience and stability, we promise fidelity. Celibate chastity is an implied and important part of that fidelity. When we lead healthy, celibate lives, our relationships with God, our sisters in community, our families, friends and the larger world community will also deepen and expand. 

If we're honest with ourselves, we acknowledge we're human, sexual beings with needs, feelings and desires like everyone else. We should also recognize sexuality is integral to and acts in conjunction with other things in the normal developmental processes of our lives. It is not something to feel guilty or shame about. A healthy feeling about our sexuality and its role in our relationships helps us become loving, intimate and compassionate people. 

We are married to Christ and thus want to grow in a personal love for Christ. If we work with great zeal and vigor at humility and use Christ as our model for that humility and love, our spiritual relationship with Christ naturally becomes more important than any other relationship.


Like others, Sisters need intimate relationships to grow and mature in a positive manner. It is our responsibility though, to maintain proper boundaries within that intimacy. Our level of sharing thoughts and feelings, the joys and sorrows of life, is not appropriately expressed genitally. We can and do share lovingly and compassionately, giving hugs when it's important to let someone know we're there for them. We listen with the ear of our heart.

Avoiding everyone of the opposite sex or staying in isolation is not healthy celibacy. But, we do need to take responsibility for our actions. We aren't responsible for the natural sexual arousal that happens unexpectedly, but we are accountable for the actions we take as a result of it. We must always keep our vocation in mind and what behavior is consistent with it. Removing ourselves from situations that will compromise our chastity, in any way, is essential.

Solitude and silence are important in a celibate, chaste life. We need time and space to be alone and uncluttered; to pray and enter into a deeper union with God. That 'celibate space' can be lonely as we recognize the reality of our weaknesses and failures. But that same celibate space, that intense contemplation and aloneness with God, when we bare our souls and unburden our hearts, is also when we begin to feel the warm love of Christ and the healing closeness of God. A sense of peace envelops our being and we become comfortable with aloneness.   


Celibate chastity is a virtue and in my mind, similar to patience. It isn't a once and done occurrence, it takes time; a task or process that we work on throughout our lives. We have to pray continuously for it, exercise self-restraint, be accountable for our thoughts and actions, depend on the love and support of our community and trust that we'll have the help of God's grace when we need it.  Then with our hearts and minds open to the promptings of the Holy Spirit in our lives, we will be transformed into the best version of ourselves that we can be and lovingly and joyfully carry out the work of God's kingdom here on earth.

*Please understand that we do not expect inquirers to be virgins! We care much more about your present and future life than we do about how you lived prior to your vocation journey. Read quick answers to more common questions.

For more detailed information about Benedictine practices and monastic promises, contact Vocation Director Sr. Bobbi Bussan!


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Is Our Benedictine Community for You?  

We live a balanced life of prayer, work and leisure, together.

We go out for ministry - to teach, serve in parishes, work in social service agencies - but we come home for prayer, meals and leisure. That is, we pray 4 times daily together, we take our meals together, we enjoy quiet time and companionship together. And for those who work in administration or our retreat center, we work together too!

If you are drawn both to outside ministry and contemplation, and if you are drawn to monastic life in community, please contact us.


We welcome your questions!

To learn more about our prayerful and joyful way of life in community, reply to this email!  
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Join us for a weekend this month!  


Want to try out life as a Benedictine? Visit us during a Benedictine Weekend Experience
March 25-27.

You'll pray, dine, and enjoy leisure time with us. You'll learn about our life. You'll stroll
the grounds and have time for silent reflection.

It's a great chance to try out Benedictine monastic life for a limited amount of time.  

Reply to this email for more information ... and visit our Web site at www.smmsisters.org!