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MuseLetter
Inspired Self-Expression
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Greetings!
In this issue we will explore the anatomy of loss, adversity and grief, and also ... their surprising counterparts. -- Robyn
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The Value of Loss and Grief
Discovering Courage in Uncertain Times 
Symptomatic to American culture, we put enormous value on 'winning'. In fact, it is commonplace to measure our lives and endeavors solely by our successes, gains and accomplishments. Yet fundamental to all life events and outcomes, no matter how they are perceived, there are inherent and unseen elements which contain both sides of the spectrum. Good, bad, joyful or devastating -- every triumph contains an aspect of loss -- and every loss contains an aspect of new possibility.
Just as a desired and favorable occurrence includes unknown territory which naturally incites some measure of fear and doubt; a sudden and distressing setback contains the unforeseen seeds of rejuvenation and growth. Thus, viewed in this light, 'loss' has tremendous value. When we loosen our debilitating judgment around our experiences, we discover that all of life - as with nature - is a never ending cycle of loss and growth, death and rebirth. Put simply, loss is an integral and edifying part of life. And where there is loss ... there follows grief.
Grief should be the instructor of the wise. Sorrow is knowledge: they who know the most must mourn the deepest.
- Lord Byron
Some of our most defining lessons and achievements are birthed from, and in tandem with, great loss. Countless people throughout history have triumphed after enduring years of defeat and failure. Thomas Edison stated:"I have not failed. I just found 10,000 ways that won't work."What a forgiving and 'luminous' proclamation! And there has plenty others: Winston Churchill, Walt Disney, Henry Ford, Emily Dickinson, Jack London, Louisa May Alcott and J.K. Rowling, all possessed a profound and tenacious vision that was impervious to self-doubt or public opinion.
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The Unexpected Gifts of Uncertainty Loss came to me early in life. Not discounting a dog named Pixie and a turtle named Elvis that mysteriously went missing; more sobering, it was at the tender age of nine and losing my mother to a post-50's thirst for wayward men and dry martinis. Her beauty was iconic -- and captivating; Rita Hayward all the way. And her blind descent was venomous; to us kids, my father, the men and most of all... herself. Without question those years taught me a very great deal about deep sorrow and loss, but they also revealed the cavernous quality of the human spirit; a bountiful depth and richness that I could not have accessed otherwise. In essence, I learned that there is a gift in every wound. We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey. - Kenji Miyazawa Some years later, in my mid-twenties, I sought counsel from a male Christian psychotherapist and he zealously asserted that my casually sitting cross-legged (in jeans) on the couch before him clearly indicated that I, too, (just like my mother) was oversexed and impetuous. I share this story for one purpose only -- to illustrate the utter instability and random hogwash that much of life presents. It is simply up to each of us to discern fact from fiction - truth from lies - wisdom from bullshit. And that is no small order ... as this requires searing instincts and primal trust. Good instincts usually tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out. - Michael Burke  As Barbara Bloom once stated, "When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something has suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful."
My mother is 85 now and redeemed herself long ago. Independent in thought and spirit; she is politically astute, a proud daycare provider for her first great-grandchild, an accomplished painter, she still drives and can run circles around people half her age. I am immensely proud of my mother. Frankly, I am proud of both of us because we've crossed cliff-edge uncertainty over the years; wisdom, hard won. There is nothing the human spirit cannot forgive, overcome or make right. That said, sometimes the 'right thing' is walking away and never looking back. That choice is up to each individual, nobody else; not your therapist, spouse, guru, professor, yoga instructor, parent, priest, psychic, mentor, sibling, best friend or crystal ball. It's an inside job. From my heart to yours,
Robyn
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The contents of this newsletter may incite uncertainty, euphoria, heightened self-confidence and/or doubt. The author is not a Medical Doctor, Licensed Psychologist or Ordained Minister. Matter of fact, she was required to take two years of Related Math in college and still doesn't know her multiplication tables.
The Urban Goddess MuseLetter is a bi-monthly publication providing inquiry, inspiration, community and support for all who are committed
to creative, authentic and unbridled self-expression.
Exploring native intelligence, creativity, non-duality, imagination, diversity, art, love, vulnerability and other real life stuff.
Urban Goddess ® is a registerd trademark and trade name.
All rights reserved. © 1992-2011
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Grief is itself
a medicine.
- William Cowper
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What you learn during times
of joy is
appreciation.
During times of loss, you learn how to live.
- Jesuit Priest,
as quoted by Stan Littrell
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Please Join Us!
with Pot Luck Dinner
A Sacred Gathering
for Women & Men
Saturday, Nov 12
4:00pm - 6:30pm
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