Self-Knowing: the Pathless Path 

Self`- know´ing

Understanding one's own feelings, character, powers and limitations.

While having coffee recently with a past workshop participant, he mentioned how much he has enjoyed reading the UG MuseLetters. Always a pleasure to hear, of course, so I happily thanked him and as I raised my Pearl Cup latte to take another sip, he pensively added, "You sure seem to have your sh*t together."

I dare say - "seem" would be the appropriate word here as that mouthful of hot foamy brew spewed across the span of two tables. After composing myself, having a good laugh and profusely apologizing to the people seated nearest us, I couldn't help but think what a perfect calamity to illustrate the tricky nature of perception. 

Every calamity is a spur and valuable hint.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

While it was evident that this mishap did little to diminish this man's favorable view of me, I couldn't help but notice the disdainful glare of an ostensibly well-heeled Prada clad woman with conspicuously perfect hair (my knee-jerk perception, you say?). In that one less than perfect moment, I recalled a befitting Martha Graham quote: "What people in the world think of you is really none of your business." But truthfully, it was picturing Ms. Perfect buck-naked that made me feel much better about the entire incident.

And to further illustrate the power of skewed perception and the stories we tell ourselves, Rabih Alamenddine says it best in his novel, The Hatawati: "What happens is of little significance compared with the stories we tell ourselves about what happens. Events matter little, only the stories of events affect us". Very wise words, indeed. 

The mystics state that the separate self (ego) is an illusion and that this illusion is the source of all our unhappiness. Wei Wu Wei (a 20th century Taoist philosopher) wrote:  "Why are you unhappy? Because 99.9 percent of everything you think and of everything you do is for yourself - and there isn't one."  Honestly? This gives me a headache.

Two men look out a window.  

One sees mud, the other sees stars. 

- Oscar Wilde

Without doubt, perception is an inside job; it's a tricky, delicately complicated, extremely personal and mysterious thing. It can send us to soaring heights; it can bring us to our knees. Some people will say that perception is everything; if you're having a tough day, just change your point of view - if you can't cover rent, just change your thinking. But before you hop up on that soap box, people, put yourself in their shoes ... Prada or Dollar Store, it doesn't matter -- compassion, first and always. And remember, the most important relationship you'll ever have -- is with yourself, so make it a habit to be good to you.

As for Ms. Perfect, I'll refer to Carl Jung, "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."  

All I can say is ... I'm still work'in on that one.

I wish you stars,

Robyn 

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