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The Law of Distraction
All this Positive Thinking is Making Us Sick
January 1, 2010, on a typical nightly walk with my dog, I was almost struck by a car. Though I managed to escape actual impact, I suffered a concussion and broken arm in the process.
In that altered and surreal moment, laying flat on my back in the middle of the street, time stood still. Though the event was unspeakably disorienting and the pain, unbearable, I knew something extraordinary was happening.
ex·traor·di·nar·y - adj
1. very unusual, remarkable, or surprising
2. highly exceptional; remarkable
There is a very thin line between fear and excitement, truth and illusion, certitude and ambiguity; life and death. As in Plato's Allegory of the Cave, man's condition is represented as being "chained in a cave," with only a fire behind him, he perceives the world by watching the shadows on the wall. Sitting in darkness with the false light of the fire, he does not realize that this existence is lacking. It merely is his existence.
Plato then imagines what would occur if the chained man were suddenly released from his bondage and let out into the world, describing how some people would immediately be frightened
and want to return to the dark familiarity of the cave, yet others would embrace the sun and finally see the world in its true light.
They would know their previous existence was only a shadow of truth, and would come to understand that their lives had been one of deception. They would want to return to the cave to free the others in bondage, and would be puzzled by those who refused to acknowledge any truth beyond their current existence. [1]
Perhaps it would be wise to consider that truth contains both light and dark, positive and negative, full and empty, the known and unknown. Indeed, truth is a 'both/and' paradox and conundrum.
One paradox is better than none;
it gives you a chance at having a deep truth. -John Abbe
Two paradoxes are better than one;
they may even suggest a solution.
-Edward Teller
As the shrill of the sirens grew more deafening, my greatest concern was for my dog that had wiggled out of her collar during my fall. My second greatest concern... the bowl of Black Eyed Peas waiting ceremoniously on my dining table back home. I really wanted those Black Eyed Peas.
Wobbly on my feet and acutely aware of my injuries by the time the police and medics arrived, I soon realized that some surprising elements of this event were just unfolding...
One must not try to trick misfortune, but resign oneself to it with good grace
- Aristophanes, The Thesmophoriazusae
Police, Parkland & Curious Well Wishers
The Bumpy Road to Empathy
Surrounded by seven police officers and two paramedics, yet not a single one of them would help me get my dog into the squad car (to get her back home and me to the hospital). Cold, bewildered and in excruciating pain, I emphatically announced: "Here's what's happening, I'm walking my dog home, you guys meet me there", and without further ado I set out for the half mile home... on foot, in the dark, with a head injury, whopping headache, broken arm, and a very grateful dog. As I turned the corner to my street and saw the spectacle of emergency vehicles and flashing lights in front of my house, police officers and neighbors waiting around for me in my yard, only one thing came to mind ... I am trapped in a Fellini film.
Once inside the warmth of my home and the details of the accident recounted to the police, I then found myself fielding questions about the hand painted walls, Asian textiles and African artifacts in my living room. That was the precise moment I decided to call my friend, Delly, and ask her to escort me to the ER. I sensed the police officers had better things to do, like go get coffee and donuts or something.
If the police story was 'Les Clowns',
Parkland was clearly 'Satyricon'
Though Parkland was everything I had heard about (and more),
it was an extraordinary gift of medical care and generosity, as well as a humbling lesson in patience. I had stumbled, both literally and figurtively, into a world I had never experienced, a world that many of us shun or simply cannot fathom, unless we have lived it. Every phase of my accident has been a clear and pervasive invitation to embrace the strength and fragility of my humanness; all of ours.
A Lesson in Forgiveness and Humor
Surprisingly, the most challenging part of my accident and recovery has been tactfully responding to the curious reactions of the varied people in my life, particularly some of those from the 'spiritual' and 'new-age' community. Honestly, I found many of the comments quite humorous, but while sorely lacking in compassion and true insight, they were also deeply disturbing. To that end, I am compelled to share a few simple suggestions...
The Dos and Don'ts - When Misfortune Befalls Another
DON'T ask "Why do you think you attracted this accident?"
DO send 'Love & Light', but honestly, food is even better
NEVER utter these words: "There are no victims in life" DO ask how you can help (and say 'yes' only to what you can) DON'T offer a DVD of "The Secret" as a get-well gift DO listen with you heart, healing takes patience and time
It goes without saying that I am not a devotee of The Secret or Law of Attraction ideology. I find their principles overly simplistic and one dimensional. While I agree that if we approach each day with a positive outlook we are quite likely to have far better ones, but please, no pontificating. It is insensitive to suggest forced positivism to the mother of a sick child, or an unemployed father of four, or a friend that just fell down a flight of stairs. Instead, sit with them in their pain, grief and concern. And if you really do believe they "attracted" these sobering events, then your only obligation is to turn the mirror back onto your own life.
The Universe Will Give You Everything You Want
Frankly, I don't think the Universe gives a rat's ass what I want, though I revel in its mystery, magic, serendipity and wonder like nobody's business. We have been indoctrinated into a walking coma of infantile woo woo 19th century materialism that is utterly devoid of substance and heart. Getting "everything we want" (or think we need) is not the goal of spiritual or emotional evolution, and the real secret is when we relinquish our "unending wanting" we step onto the path of authentic liberation. Enough IS enough.
To end, I believe the three most essential qualities missing in our culture today are: commonsense, compassion and empathy. So, in spirit of compassionately turning the mirror on self before others, I leave you with one simple caveat...
Shit Happens, people!
Nearly all the best things that came to me in life
have been unexpected, unplanned by me.
- Carl Sandburg
From my heart to yours,
Robyn Lark Wakefield
[1] Wise Geek, Written by Tricia Ellis-Christensen | 
