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Hiding in Plain View
I knew I would have to surface, sooner or later. So, hunkered down with a vente latte at the Knox Street Starbucks, I began to write about my ten-month hiatus. In-between doodling, staring out into space and checking out all the men, I wrestled with how to describe such a lengthy absence. And as intention and synchronicity would have it - there was the answer, literally, in the palm of my hand, in plain print, on the back of the paper cup...
The Way I See It #76, Starbucks customer quote by Anne Morriss from New York City:
"The irony of commitment is that it's deeply liberating - in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life."
What a poignant and timely statement;" ...to remove your 'head' as the barrier to your life". My head kept telling me I had been lax and unprofessional in my commitment to Urban Goddess, but upon further inquiry I realized I had been submerged in the deep and abiding commitment to my own authentic process; staying present to every twist and turn of one of the darkest nights of my soul.
As Thomas Moore wrote in his recent book, Dark Nights of the Soul; "Every human life is made up of the light and dark, the happy and the sad, the vital and the deadening. How you think about this rhythm of moods makes all the difference." One of the most empowering principles of my own life is having the willingness to be fully present to the inevitable pain and darkness of being human, to search for the gift in every wound - the sacred in everyday occurrences. And instead of seeking distractions or rushing through the process, consciously honoring these seasons of fragility and uncertainty as periods of incubation and opportunity.
For me personally, 2008 was fraught with financial adversity, a painful break-up and a disorienting numbness toward my creative work; all cumulating into a bewildering identity crisis. And though the path was far from clear, it was my willingness to remain present within the ambiguity that I found this gift... it is the darkest nights that we see the brightest stars.
From My heart to yours,
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